Having roommates is a great way to save on rent, but sometimes you don’t always see eye to eye with the people you share a home with.
It’s common for roomies to argue over things like dirty dishes, toilet seats (up or down?) and whether or not you should be stealing their black thong panties. But why actually talk face to face like an adult, when you can just leave them a note?
Yellow sticky notes are the favorite weapon of passive-aggressive roommates, but the “cheers,” smiley faces, and XOXO’s written at the very end let you know that they care (but not really).
To be fair, not every roommate is a total jerk. This list of 75 hilarious roommate messages prove that passive-aggressive douches actually do have a sense of humor.
1) Say It With Roses
The trail of rose petals started at the front door, went up the stairs, and ended in the bedroom. That’s where @freekyfrogy left his roommate a very romantic surprise.
This love note might sound like a very bold come-on, but wait until you see who wrote it. Looks like the only thing Gary will be getting dirty with is the dish water.
Don’t be so sure you know the answer to that question! The goal in this choose-your-own-adventure style game is to get to the square that says “Ok have a nice day.”
Redditer @profbalto said that his roommate posted this sign in everyone’s bathroom. Here’s a less complicated line of thought:
“Did you use the bathroom? No. Are you sure? Yes. Go wash your hands anyways.”
Over or under? Roommates are always fighting over this when it comes to the toilet paper roll. Looks like this genius solved that problem once and for all.
@Lapoon:
“I told my roommate he was putting the tp on backwards and then I find this.”
Martin Spooner King has a dream, one where everyone is considered an equal when it comes to household chores. This is certainly a witty way to get the point across!
Don’t you just hate roommates who help themselves to your food, just because it’s in the fridge? Susie found a neat way to take care of that problem for good.
Matt was upset when Scott forgot to take out the garbage and recycling bins. Scott took the opportunity to piss off Matt even more by correcting his grammar like a grade-school teacher.
“My roommate leaves me notes to remind me to do chores. This makes him angry.”
Sometimes your roommates are actually your parents. Or in Karin’s case, he was very specifically her balding, middle-aged dad.
From Karin in Michigan:
“I found this note taped on the window above the sink after I left a cup on the counter rather than putting it in the dishwasher. I guess my dad thought this approach would be easier than yelling.”
15) “Here’s hoping my housemates have a sense of humor.”
@thehelldamnguy got a little bit cheeky with this one. Hopefully his roommates don’t have any dirty girlfriends, or the situation might get really interesting.
Some of us like to get notifications on our phone telling us when we have a doctor’s appointment, or when our favorite podcast goes live. This roommate makes it a point to let everyone else know when the rent is due.
@Pkfighter7942:
“How my buddy reminds his roommates to pay their rent.”
This guy went out of his way to tell his roommates that this is what a clean sink should look like after they do the dishes. If you can’t spot the passive-aggressiveness, here’s a hint: it’s a picture a clean sink that’s been placed over a dirty plate and utensils.
In the bestselling Doing Dishes For Dummies book, any roommate can learn how to do dishes with confidence, using a sponge, soap, and hot water! I can’t wait for the sequel, Taking Out The Trash: how to bag, tag, and get rid of smelly stuff before the garbage truck arrives.
@sandman14732:
“Quick bit of passive aggressive photoshop I threw together tonight for my housemates.”
What a cool roommate! It’s like sweet and sour pork, except it’s cake, and you won’t be hungry an hour after you eat these sentiments.
@largerthanlogic:
“I moved into my girlfriend’s apartment today and her roommate baked me a cake.”
22) Rent Money
Rent was due, so this roommie made a show of making sure it was seen. An extra dollar bill to make a comma after “rent” would have been an extra nice touch, though.
Most passive-aggressive roommates stick to Post-It notes to express themselves. But, this anonymous Redditer decided to get creative with her sticky note.
“My roommate is always leaving passive aggressive notes about what she does around the house. Thought I’d join in.”
34) “I woke up to find this this morning. The best passive-aggressive note from any roommate ever.”
This is a very long note from @Guitarmaggedon’s roommate, but it’s funny if you can get through it! Here’s the tl;dr (too long; didn’t read) version:
An unknown roommate put some really disgusting stuff in the trash, the garbage bag got punctured somehow, and roommate who was on trash duty suffered from horrific nightmares thereafter.
“All that remained was the evil brown sludge forged in the bowels of roadkill by the devil himself. Only time will tell if I was able to eradicate all local traces of hell on earth that fell onto the floor of men.”
Like most passive-aggressive folks, Austin didn’t feel like being confrontational with his roommate about the hair that was clogging the drain. So he wrote a limerick instead!
“My roommate never actually said anything about the note, but he did clean the drain out by the time I’d arrived home…so I assume he got the message.”
@nyggah says this is how he passively-aggressively reminds his housemates to wash their dishes. I don’t think shark-face man is scary enough to actually get them to lift a finger.
@gringogidget has a much better idea:
“I bought restaurant bus bins and would put them in front of the roomate’s doors. When someone would get home with a guy/girl they would be awfully embarrassed with a tray of dirty dishes in front of their door.”
45) Please Stop Using The Sink As A Dumping Ground
Don’t you hate it when everyone else’s stuff gets piled up in the sink? Solution: pick a new dumping ground.
Jocelyn from London said:
“Since moving into halls for the first year of university, our hygiene skills have gone downhill, to say the least. Finally, one of our roommates cracked and cleaned up the rotting mess…or so we thought. Instead, he just found a new ‘dumping ground.'”
But, Jesus also wouldn’t touch a Pop Tart because he can just make fish out of thin air. He also wouldn’t be so blatantly passive-aggressive like this goof.
Apparently people need to be taught how to clean up after themselves, because dirty dishes are a common theme on this thread. Or maybe this is actually mom teaching her kiddos a valuable life lesson.
Girl Scout cookies aren’t sound year-round. So when the cookie-selling season stops, things start to get real. This roommate certainly isn’t going to get a merit badge for sharing.
Looks to me like this roommate has a special stamp made especially for occassions like this that says “Really?” on it. It lets them be passive-aggressive on the fly!
@traciecarpenter:
“In the time it took you to print on a post-it you could have just loaded the dishwasher.”
Even though rice is one of the cheapest commodities on the planet, this roommate is not willing to share. Like the note in the psychedelic rice bin says, buy your own.
Not only is all her food off limits. But, her stash of tea is not for sharing either. I can’t imagine what she would be like if you asked her for a single sugar cube.
The roommate first found the note:
“while trying to rearrange a kitchen cabinet that is completely dominated by my roommate’s freakishly large collection of stale old teas.”
There’s absolutely no reason that your roommate should be snooping around in your drawers. But, when they do, remind them of the conversation you had about the eye serum.
When a spotty banana can’t speak for themselves, there’s always a passive-aggressive roommie to speak on their behalf. Because it’s not like a banana is supposed to get ripe before you eat it, or anything.
Nadine Duca:
“Aw!!! There’s a banana at my home in the same situation. Now this made me feel sad… Banana for dinner, I guess.”
…Who is the most passive-aggressive of them all? Your roommate, of course!
“My roommates tend to slip up when it comes to cleaning. One in particular always leaves a mess of toothpaste all over the sink. Looks like a minty rainfall. The mirrors over the sink rarely escape the toothpaste splatter as well. Needless to say, I wasn’t diggin’ it, but I didn’t want to confront them and seem like the bad guy. Hence, the birth of this post-it.”
A wine cup that’s been bedazzled with rhinestones is pretty tacky. But, it’s even tackier when the cup still smells like last Friday’s Cristal knock-off drink.
Molly’s pet peeve is drippy faucets. Julie’s pet peeve is spelling errors. Molly’s 2nd pet peeve is “having to tell ppl to turn the facet off in the first place.”
Why don’t they just pin the tail on the donkey and see who is the biggest passive-aggressive winner?
66) We Have A Winner!
He’s right, this guy totally scored! But he still lost, because he had to touch that hot mess of wet, clogged-drain hair.
But, green petri dishes go so well with green eggs and ham. Cheers, mate!
Ben, who lives with a whopping 17 roommates, said:
“While living in a house in London with 17 people from all over the world, things become way too green. This had to be done every once in a while in order to remind others not to overpopulate our kitchen with new living organisms.”
“Sour cream covered spoon, left in sink before leaving town for four days.” That’s how Justin Cousson described the masterpiece left behind by his traveling roommate.
“My passive-aggressive art gallery is thriving, although some critics don’t care for my emphasis on found pieces.”
72) “Did you really think I only used it for shaving?”
Emily spotted this threat/warning/request in the bathroom of a women’s college dorm in New York City. The “women’s college” part certainly explains the vibrating razor part of the note.
There’s no greater danger to the world than a pissed-off hippy roommate. They will smile while they eat granola and cut you!
“There’s a master’s student living in our shared student house – the kind who lives off hemp protein and lentils. Anyway, the house has an hallway running through the middle, with his room on one side and a landing on the other. This note appeared on the landing the other day. I think it has the perfect combination of smiley faces, violent threats, love and climate change.”
This gal is peeved at the thief who keeps taking off with her knickers. To be honest, she might want to think about meeting up with the “panty thief.” The fact that he liked to take off with her black thongs says everything about him.
Having roommates is a great way to save on rent, but sometimes you don’t always see eye to eye with the people you share a home with.
It’s common for roomies to argue over things like dirty dishes, toilet seats (up or down?) and whether or not you should be stealing their black thong panties. But why actually talk face to face like an adult, when you can just leave them a note?
Yellow sticky notes are the favorite weapon of passive-aggressive roommates, but the “cheers,” smiley faces, and XOXO’s written at the very end let you know that they care (but not really).
To be fair, not every roommate is a total jerk. This list of 75 hilarious roommate messages prove that passive-aggressive douches actually do have a sense of humor.
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