While bumper stickers are everywhere, they’re also one of those things in life that are easily overlooked. After all, we’ve seen hundreds of them while sitting at red lights or crossing the country on road trips. They can say almost anything: support politicians, share pithy wisdom, or show off stick figure family trees.
There are even some bumper stickers that have become classic symbols. Remember back in the 1990s when every bumper declared that “Shit Happens”? Or in the early 2000s when we whittled down acceptance of our neighbors to a single word: “COEXIST”?
In some ways, bumper stickers have become a symbol of hard-talking Americana. Just go to the South and you’ll see more stickers celebrating the Second Amendment than you can count. In other parts of the country, you’ll see everything from political commentary to life lessons and silly puns.At the end of the day, bumper stickers are just something fun to read as you sit in a traffic jam. Good ones usually give you a chuckle. And great ones might very well make you look twice. Here are 75 bumper stickers that’ll make you do a double-take. At least traffic won’t be boring.
1. A note to all the dreamers
It might sound cynical, but it does need to be said. Sometimes, the rest of us are just too nice to tell you that your art is terrible. Find a new hobby.
What, you think you’re going to impress me with your basic literacy skills? That’s nothing — pretty much everyone I know can read. We all went to school, pal.
It would awkward if your boss happened to see this bumper sticker while behind you in traffic. Not only are you telling them to go to hell, but you’re also not pulling any punches about the workplace.
When a man drives a big car, we often jokingly say he’s compensating for a lack of something. This guy has taken advantage of his small car to prove the stereotype goes both ways.
No matter how convenient they are, cars aren’t good for the environment. But don’t worry: this driver is bringing their carbon output back to zero with the use of a handy-dandy branch. You’re welcome, ozone.
If you laughed at this, you definitely have a twisted sense of humor. And as funny as it is, I wouldn’t want to have a cop driving behind me with this bumper sticker on my car. I’m pretty sure it makes everything you do 100 percent more suspicious.
Imgur
6. Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to step out of the car
If you laughed at this, you definitely have a twisted sense of humor. And as funny as it is, I wouldn’t want to have a cop driving behind me with this bumper sticker on my car. I’m pretty sure it makes everything you do 100 percent more suspicious.
Talk about striking back against the patriarchy. Sure, it’s a little strongly worded — but there are some good men out there, after all. But this driver puts them up there with dragons.
Hopefully, your parents never awkwardly told you where you were conceived. And if they did, we hope it wasn’t in a parked car. But let’s be honest…some of us were conceived in parked cars.
Ah, bumper stickers, the perfect way to express your political leanings. But this one is incredibly clever. They’re making it clear what they think about the Republican candidates.
People often laugh over the popular “Baby on Board” stickers, wondering if they really change anything. But fun fact: they’re technically for first responders to see in case of a vehicle accident.
For some reason, this reads like a long-lost stanza of John Lennon’s Imagine song. “Imagine all the chickens …it’s easy if you try …crossing roads they want to …no one asking why…”
The funny thing about this bumper sticker, you know it went the same way every time. The driver behind the car saw it, chuckled, and then had the lightbulb go on.
This is another clever bumper sticker. It’s telling anybody driving too close to go screw themselves. But it’s disguised so nicely in the form of an apology.
Dyslexia is a difficult condition to live with. But like most things, it’s easier when you have a sense of humor about it. If you’re a fan of bumper stickers, you have a perfect way to do so.
Not every bumper sticker is funny. Some are motivational or thought-provoking. Just take this one for example, which is a reminder not to get stuck in thinking the way you’ve always thought.
As if it wasn’t enough that T-rexes have short little arms, they also have to deal with all of us making fun of them because of it. Or at least they would if they weren’t extinct.
I might not be 70 years old, but I too feel like saying this to everybody on most days. But this driver doesn’t need any excuse. They’ve dealt with all these idiots for 70 years and they deserve some peace.
If dragons were real, you know we would hear stories about people who died because they tried to mess with them. I can hear it now: “Hold my beer while I poke its tail with a stick…”
This might be called a bumper, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bumper car. If you don’t hear carnival music and smell popcorn, you’d better not be bumping into anyone here.
Talk about sharing too much information. Didn’t your parents ever tell you to go to the bathroom before you got in the car? It’s a very important life lesson.
Even though we’re about to start the 2020s, some people still think women can’t be good leaders. But the reality is that we follow women all the time — in traffic and elsewhere.
Have you ever taken one look at another person and known you shouldn’t antagonize them? Something tells me the driver of this car is one of those people.
Jesus lived 2,000 years ago, which means he was confined to using the mode of transportation of the time. But if he had driven a car, I’m sure he would’ve been very careful and courteous.
We all know how important it is to wear a seatbelt, and yet there are still people foolish enough to risk not buckling up. This might very well be as convincing an argument as any.
We’ve all seen the bumper stickers proudly stating the number of marathons the driver has run. Or maybe how fast they can run per mile. At least they’ve finally made a version for the rest of us.
I can’t decide if this is a good or terrible argument in favor of staying in a marriage. I think the answer is it’s a terrible joke, but it’s still funny.
There are plenty of impatient drivers on the road, so it makes sense they need to plead for patience. But what do they do with the sticker when they’re not pushing a motorhome?
Look, it’s a joke that makes math lovers chuckle and the rest of us groan. Don’t worry, bumper sticker. I’ll never do calculus no matter how much alcohol I’ve had to drink.
30. Making all the minivans full of teenager’s giggle
Poor old Uranus, the planet whose name has been making us laugh since the third grade. Back in the day, they made us pronounce “urine-us.” Unfortunately, that’s not much better.
Once upon a time, “COEXIST” bumper stickers were everywhere. But this one’s a little different. It’s enough to make any comic book nerd squeal with glee.
Most bumper stickers are mass-produced because they’re geared toward a big demographic. But something tells me this one had a pretty small audience. Maybe just this driver.
Back when Barack Obama was president, his political opponents had many complaints about him. As it turns out, a lot of those talking points happened to describe someone even more famous.
When you get to the bottom of it, this is a pretty good summary of every bumper sticker ever made. Now, who wants to try to go to that website? I kind of want to know if it’s real.
Bumper stickers can express support for politicians, raise awareness for charitable causes, and have silly witticisms. Apparently, some of them also serve as strange conversation starters.
When we see a minivan, we know who’s driving it — a parent with several small children. But don’t judge them by their car. Back in the day, they were a cool kid, too.
The stick figure family bumper stickers were once almost as popular as the Coexist ones. But let’s be honest — does everyone in traffic really need an introduction to every member of your family?
There are funny jokes on bumper stickers. Then there are the ones that are so funny and so bad at the same time that you can’t help but say, “Oooooh…” This one falls into the second category.
If you have an iPhone, you’ll definitely recognize this bumper sticker. To be honest, it would be amazing if you could open your trunk simply by sliding your finger across the bumper. Unfortunately, it would be easy to have your car stolen, too.
Not all of us end up driving our dream car. In fact, most of us have downright dorky ones. But at least this driver has a sense of humor about the decided un-coolness of their vehicle.
If you have a little dog at home, you know how often they get under your feet. And if you have a dachshund — colloquially known as a wiener dog — you have plenty of opportunities to make this joke.
Well, that’s pretty much it — this bumper sticker summarizes, well, every bumper sticker. We all have opinions and we all want to share them, even in the middle of traffic.
This homemade bumper sticker might seem like it’s touting a non sequitur, but let’s be honest. Most people need to be reminded of this so they won’t be jerks — especially in traffic.
If you’re tired of bumper stickers that loudly express opinions, you’re bound to love this one. There are no politics here, just a good old-fashioned silly joke to give you a chuckle on the road.
Lots of bumper stickers take a stand on important political, religious, and societal issues. But something tells me this one isn’t trying to take a stand as much as it is trying to confuse the heck out of everyone.
Most puns are groan-worthy, but every now and then you hear one that’s so unexpected, you can’t help but laugh. This one is hysterical, playing on the usual meaning of the word “preserve.”
This succinct bumper sticker is both a zinger and a life motto. Not that we’re advocating for anyone to be a bitch. But you also shouldn’t be anyone else’s bitch.
This bumper sticker is worded so strangely that it takes some effort to figure out what it’s trying to say. In fact, it takes a little bit too much effort. Ugh, I’ll just figure it out later.
Talk about a bumper sticker that’ll make you do a double-take. If anything, it’ll give you enough of a jolt to ensure you’re not falling asleep, either.
50. Nothing like a bumper sticker to provide social commentary
You probably didn’t think you’d be reading anything thought-provoking while stuck in traffic. But after seeing this bumper sticker, you’ll notice when you turn down Oak Avenue.
Sometimes you have a victory in your life that you want to share with others but you don’t know how. Clearly, the answer is to make a bumper sticker so the world knows your achievement.
We’ve all seen the “Honk if you love Jesus” bumper stickers, so it’s easy to get caught off guard by this one. You’re going to look like a real twit if you honk prematurely.
Forget having an out-of-body experience. We’re all having an out-of-money experience and there’s no end in sight. At least not for the millennial generation.
You’ve probably met that stereotypical guy who’s always bragging about his car. His claims are just as outlandish as this bumper sticker. But sure, Brad, we all believe you.
This bumper sticker will definitely have you doing a double-take. And after that, you’ll be scratching your head. Nothing like a threatening non sequitur to leave everyone unsettled.
Do we know why the bumper sticker changed tense out of nowhere? No, we don’t, and we don’t have any explanation. That’s the most confusing thing about this otherwise mostly normal sticker.
57. What’s the fastest way to say “I’m pretentious”?
Is there anything worse than people who brag about their cool “other” cars? As it turns out, there is. It’s this person who thinks it’s not obnoxious to make this statement.
Most of us have never been to Alaska, but we know it’s cold, snowy, lonely, and full of wild animals. We can all imagine how awful driving on the Alaska Highway is.
Bumper stickers are a first and sometimes, only an impression of another driver. That’s why seeing statements like these can be…well, kind of disturbing. Imagine if someone walked up to you and said this without any other context.
Some bumper stickers don’t look strange at first because they play on a design you’ve seen before. This is obviously based on the Coca-Cola design. But once you look closer, you realize it’s something completely different and a little creepy.
Some bumper stickers are niche jokes that tell you something about the driver. Apparently, this one is a bass player who likes music jokes and silly puns.
Something tells me this driver hasn’t exactly been lucky in love. But that’s okay — in their mind, it’s because they’re just too smart for any of you dummies.
Ask anybody with a truck and they’ll tell you it comes with the territory. Once people find out you have a truck, they’re going to ask you to help them move. It’s only a matter of time.
It can be so hard to date in this day and age, especially after a divorce. This dad isn’t interested in the traditional ways of meeting women. He prefers a much more direct approach.
Nothing says “irony” like a bumper sticker declaring a hatred of bumper stickers. It might take you a moment as you’re sitting behind this car in traffic. But once it clicks, you’re bound to chuckle.
Oh, you ran a marathon and have bumper stickers bragging about it? That’s nothing. I ran a Netflix marathon while finishing “The Office.” It was a big accomplishment.
This one requires a pretty dark sense of humor since it’s parodying real memorials often seen on windshields. But unlike the real ones, it’s grieving the loss of the driver’s motivation.
It’s generally not a good idea to flip the bird while you’re on the road no matter how angry you are. But this driver would argue it’s the only way to effectively communicate.
There are dozens of variations of the “Honk if you…” bumper stickers, so it’s never a surprise to see a new one. But this sticker is a little more obvious. I guess it’s as good a reason as any.
Millennials are notoriously uninsured and underinsured. Of course, we don’t know for sure if a millennial even owns this car. But they sure as heck can relate to this bumper sticker.
We’ve seen political bumper stickers, those with pithy wisdom, and the ones with groan-worthy puns. But when none of those will do, there’s always another option: bumper stickers with obvious statements.
Is this really something to brag about? We should all be trying to reduce our carbon footprint, especially when it comes to our cars. So, I guess you win and lose at the same time.
With a bumper sticker like this, I’m reasonably certain this driver is from the future. And if they’re telling the truth, the future sounds absolutely amazing.
A word of advice: the moment you have to tell anyone you’re not a stalker, they’ll likely think you are. In the case of this bumper sticker, I think that’s the point.
75 Clever bumper stickers that will make you double-take
Cedric Jackson
12.20.19
While bumper stickers are everywhere, they’re also one of those things in life that are easily overlooked. After all, we’ve seen hundreds of them while sitting at red lights or crossing the country on road trips. They can say almost anything: support politicians, share pithy wisdom, or show off stick figure family trees.
There are even some bumper stickers that have become classic symbols. Remember back in the 1990s when every bumper declared that “Shit Happens”? Or in the early 2000s when we whittled down acceptance of our neighbors to a single word: “COEXIST”?
In some ways, bumper stickers have become a symbol of hard-talking Americana. Just go to the South and you’ll see more stickers celebrating the Second Amendment than you can count. In other parts of the country, you’ll see everything from political commentary to life lessons and silly puns.At the end of the day, bumper stickers are just something fun to read as you sit in a traffic jam. Good ones usually give you a chuckle. And great ones might very well make you look twice. Here are 75 bumper stickers that’ll make you do a double-take. At least traffic won’t be boring.
