Santa receives millions of letters every year from kids that have been naughty, nice, and everything in-between. Most of these letters are just standard Christmas wish lists, but sometimes, just sometimes, thereโs a cheeky little gem hidden among the usual requests for Xboxes, iPads, and toys.
For example, take the kid who wants a single chicken nugget to go with his fries and computer. That doesnโt seem like a tough request. But thatโs just one of the 75 hilarious letters to Santa that tell him like it is!
1) โMy daughterโs Christmas list.โ
This little girl made sure that Santa couldnโt cop a lame excuse that he didnโt understand what she wanted. She wrote โcatโ in 16 different languages!
@DiabeticStormTrooper:
โNow get her 16 cats.โ
@FenixthePhoenix:
โIn Korean she wrote ๊ณ ์์ด ๋ช
or โcat personโ. I vote you get her one of those.โ
If she gets 16 cats, she will be one of those!
2) โI told my first grade class they were writing their letters to SantaโฆI should have been more specific.โ
Sometimes kids take things so literally. And when they do, itโs so cute!
@ElGatoGrande3234:
โIโve wanted a ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ for yearsโฆthat bastard never brought me it.โ
3) โA letter to Santa from my brotherโs 5th grade classโฆโ
Uh oh, Santa better โponyโ up this year and get this kid what he wants. Or there WILL be consequences!
@RodentOfUnusualSize:
โAt first, I thought it said, โthere will be carcasses.โ I was concerned.โ
4) โDonโt know if I should laugh or cry. #endofanera for Plachter family. #lettertosanta left in the cookie and milk plate.โ
It was a good run, but now Ava knows the real truth. Still, sheโs very appreciate of โSantaโ and has enjoyed believing in him for the past ten and a half years.
5) โMy 11 year old nephew made my mom a Christmas list. Lmao I feel you dawg.โ
Jacksonโs Christmas wish list include all the typical stuff a boy wants, like a pig, iPhone, cool knives, and candy-thatโs-not-chocolate (a chocolate lab dog is okay, though). Oh, and he also wants a brand new President. Thatโs on everyoneโs list no matter what year it is!
6) High tech wish list
Okay, this kid deserves to get whatever this is. He wrote out the entire URL, in crayons no less, and made sure to get the upper/lower case and symbols correct.
You can see the item he wanted right here. I hope mom and dad rewarded him for his effort!
@Crappy_MSPaintPics:
โKid didnโt underline it to make it a hyperlink.โ
@Johnny_Derpp:
โKids are so dumb. Santa gets all my links in text message.โ
7) โSo this store had a โDear Santaโ writing area for children and this is what I saw.โ
Awww sweetie! Weโve all wanted Simbaโs dad to wake up since the day he went to sleep. But, there are some things that even Santa canโt deliver.
@Zhivka Yatsova:
โAnd Bambiโs motherโ
@Ashely Lopez:
โAnd Nemoโs mom and siblingsโ
8) Letโs be practical, Santa.
If youโre going to bring a present that needs batteries, then please bring some batteries. For both kids and adults alike, thereโs nothing worse than receiving a gift that you canโt even play with yet!
9) โMy mom is a 4th grade teacher. Hereโs one of her Muslim studentโs letters to Santa.โ
In this adorable and heartwarming letter, this adorable little sweetpea tells Santa that even though she doesnโt celebrate Christmas, she wants to thank him for giving everyone presents.
She also wants to know his #1 secret of success. How in the world does he travel around the world making all those deliveries in a single night?
โSanta, thank you for spreading happiness around the earth. And say hi to Mrs. Claus for me.โ
@mcchicken:
โ+1 for the childโs innocence. No hate, no bashing of other religions, simply curious about life.โ
@stoneagedudeman:
โAlso curious about speeds and travel methods the likes of which we canโt explain right now. This kid will go far.โ
10) โThis is my 4-year-oldโs letter to Santa. I think sheโs on her way to becoming a doctor!โ
Either that, or your true purpose in life is becoming a seismograph. Maybe sheโll go on to do great things, like predict earthquakes!
@DingDongApricot:
โWhen I was little I had a โdiaryโ, I would think of the words and write scribbles like this! Squiggle squiggle indeed, my friend.โ
11) โMy nieceโs letter to Santa.โ
Little Emily wrote Santa to let him know that she changed her mind. Out of the 10 things on her list, sheโs nixing 9 of them. And she wants is something the kid in all of us wants โ a puppy! sheโs not even picky โ it could be a lab, husky, or even a German shepherd.
โEvery time I think about not getting a puppy it makes me sadder and sadder. Thank you if I discover a puppy in a box under the tree.โ
@aj5dv:
โI wrote this exact same thing to my parents this year. Only difference is iโm a 26 year old male. Her drawing was slightly better then mine though.โ
12) He may look innocent Santa, but heโs the devil!
If you have brothers, you may relate to this letter from Evan. He gets the niceties out of the way first by asking Santa how he and his reindeer are doing. But then he tells St. Nick that his bro is the devil because he steals his games!
13) โSo my cousin found out that Santa isnโt realโฆโ
Hey kiddo, you forgave your parents for the Tooth Fairy, didnโt you? Itโll be fine, we all got over it.
@9ninety_nine9:
โEveryone comes to this realization eventually in their life, I donโt remember being angry about it, if anything I was impressed that my parents put so much effort into making something magical and special for me and it made me happy.โ
14) โMy good friendโs note to Santa right after Titanic came out. She was 9.โ
Shawn Neill (GIRL) wants Santa to swing by with Leonardo DiCaprio for summer vacation. At first she wrote โChristmasโ but crossed it out, probably because one day with the Titanic cutie wouldnโt be enough!
15) โLittle brother wrote Santa a thank-you cardโฆโ
Kids may say the darndest things, but weโre the ones who are corrupt! Still, you might want to teach your little bro how to spell before Santa and his elves end up on a different kind of list!
16) โMy sister is 9 and this is her Christmas listโฆโฆ. lolโ
Selenaโs little sister, Noel, wanted the usual girly things for Christmas, like clothes, shoes, an iPad, candles, and emoji stickers. But then at the very end, โno schoolโ and โa better lifeโ are also on her wish list! Kids can be so dramatic.
@laurenstrausser:
โI feel that on a spiritual level.โ
17) Just pizza.
Forget the all the usual iPads, games, and toys thatโs on everyone elseโs Christmas list. This guy is getting back to basics and keeping it simple!
@Tamara Laney:
โYes! Pizza on earth and Goodwill towards man.โ
18) โAs a Jew, Christmas time was always the hardest time of the year. This is what I wrote to Santa when I was 9.โ
In this letter to Santa, a sad little boy tells Santa that even though heโs Jewish, โI really love u.โ He goes on to ask for a present, and says that heโs easy to recognize with his dark brown hair and brown eyes.
@psychie:
โMy parents took me around to see the Christmas lights when I was about 5 or 6 years old. One of the houses had a Santa outside. My parents let me wait on line to sit on his lap and he goes โWhat do you want for Christmas?โ and I say โIโm Jewish.โ to which he replied โMe too!โ My parents talked to him after and he was actually Jewish, but enjoyed celebrating the holidays!โ
19) โMy boyโs son put together his Christmas list. The random $29 has me rollin!โ
Juniorโs REVISED Christmas had his family cracking up. He sneaked a totally random $29 dollars in between totally normal requests like a PS4 and hover board.
@Jennifer .S:
โHe clearly wants to buy something himself.โ
@Wim Lammens:
โIf thatโs the case, letโs hope Santa remembers to bring 29 dollars PLUS TAX ;-)โ
20) โThis is the letter my niece sent to Santa. Sheโs 7.โ
Sofia had every intention of being a good girl for winter vacation when she woke up on Saturday morning. But, like many of us, she couldnโt make it through the day without being naughty!
She has high hopes though, and asks if Santa will โgive me a present anyway?โ
21) Nice try, but no cigar.
The now-adult author of this letter says that apparently his 10-year-old self was โtrying to take advantage of some perceived inefficiencies of the massive Santaโs workshop bureaucracy.โ That, and he really wanted the AK-47.
@LoHare:
โEh, just sneak that rifle in the middle of the list, no one would notice.โ
22) Dear Santa, the beer is in the fridge by the door.
Flynn welcomed Santa into his home by offering him a whole case of Bud! Thankfully, one was enough for good old St. Nick.
Otherwise, it could have ended up like this cheeky scenario from @Aaron Pie:
โWake up to find Santa passed out on the couch.โ
23) โA note my 6 year old sister left for Santa hahaha.โ
A passive-aggressive Elizabeth thanks Santa in her letter to him and says that he is โthe best.โ But only after she gives him a stern warning to keep out of her private things.
24) โ5-year-oldโs letter to Santa asking for GTA V: I just want to play with the cars, not the hookers!โ
Like most boys, this one loves games and cars, and games with cars. But he wants to make it clear that his request for Grand Theft Auto 5 is all about the hot wheels, and not the hot chicks!
@crowdog09:
โI was 11 when GTA3 came out and everybody was talking about it. I remember a friend telling me โyou can kill prostitutes!โ In my innocent head I got prostitutes mixed up with Protestants and was left scratching my head, wondering how you could tell what their religion was just by looking at them.โ
25) Epic Christmas list!
Good thing I still have time to change my list. I want what this kidโs having, especially the โpet crocodile that can catch me fishโ and the โshark that goes underwater and grabs me corndogs that are already baked.โ
26) โMy childhood letter to Santa Claus.โ
At first, a very Kim tries to butter up Santa by offering him an entire catalog of Super Nintendo games, AND a plate of homemade cookies. It isnโt until the end of her letter that she reveals her true ulterior motive towards St. Nick: โplease clean my room.โ
@Mama Panda:
โSo many wasted childhood years of asking for toys when I could have asked for a clean room! I wonder if Santa would be willing to clean my house now? hahahahaโ
27) A very simple but confusing wish.
Okay little Riley. Are you talking about a stuffed animal chicken to cuddle with, or the actual bird for dinner? Either way, it can be arranged!
@Rebekah:
โEveryone needs some good poultry.โ
28) โMall Santa, meet skeptical 8-year-old.โ
This kid is grilling Santa with questions like, โdo you get paid,โ and โdo you or did you smoke?โ He also puts Santa to the test by asking โIf you always know what kids want, whatโs the first thing on my list?โ
Must be the bazooka that you asked for.
@Poor Unfortunate Soul:
โI never thought about what the elves did as โslave laborโ butโฆ Iโm rethinking things.โ
29) Um, what kind of turtle was it that you wanted?
Juan Pablo is one smart little kid, and he wants a toy that does all his homework. He also wants a โniga tertll that fites.โ Now, thatโs my kind of crismiss wish list!
30) Her other pair ripped.
Yeah, you, me, and every other girl on the planet wants a big pair ofโฆ Oh wait, did you mean โtights?โ
@Peggy Ward:
โSome grown ups never get this wish, but good luck!โ
31) โOink oink you capitalist pig!โ
Josh probably thought he was being smart when he asked Santa why all of his toys say โMade in China.โ He probably had no idea that anyone who has a bone to pick with Santa would be no match for the wrath of angry Redditers!
@Ripsaw99:
โParents: now that Josh is in college maybe itโs time we tell him the truth about Santa.โ
@MakingUpAUserNameIsTerrifying:
โDear Josh, there is a simple reason. While I make sure most kids avoid Chinaโs products, Iโm hoping one of yours gives you lead poisoning.โ
@elpaw:
โAt least the Chinese workers get paid something. Before, the elves were unpaid slave labour.โ
32) 10-year-old Calvinโs very detailed letter to Santa
Where do we even begin with this? Calvin, whoโs been a very good boy, wants a nerf sword, bean bag chair, and a laptop, which heโs been asking for every single year.
โI find it ok that I havenโt gotten one over the last 4 to 5 years but hey, 10 years is a good laptop age.โ
He also wants a new Samsung charger because his mom lost his (not that heโs pointing fingers), and along with the usual stuff that every boy wants, like Dungeons and Dragons, he also offhandedly mentions wanting a body pillow.
โP.S. You totally rock and are so awesome.โ
@domo-loves-oshi:
โThatโs a long a detailed want list, good, precise and clean grammar. This is very polite child.โ
33) Letter to Santa, circa 1993
Back in 1993 Santa got off pretty easy! He didnโt have to deliver any presents to this kiddo, who said that dad would be providing the gifts that year. What a very polite little sweetie!
34) He only wants to very polar opposite things.
This kid got straight to the point. He wants 2 orange gold fish, which is totally reasonable, but the jet heโs been eyeballing all year might be a little bit harder for Santa to come by.
35) โHow to make sure Santa is real, 8yo logicโ
Even though he has a long Christmas list, this little boy actually isnโt very greedy. Heโs asking Santa to give him just one item on the list, which includes a skateboard, Xbox, and a โhigh womanโs shoes for his mom (so he says)
36) Dear Santa, this year, โmillionsโ just wonโt do.
Chris starts off by saying sorry for being bad in the past, but then he wastes no time in letting Santa know that thereโs only one thing on his wish list.
โBut what I want for Christmas this year is 53 billion dollars.โ
37) Addisynโs letter to Santa is the cutest one ever!
Addisyn writes to Santa like sheโs writing to an old friend. In fact, she might be divulging a little bit too much information! The adorable girl reveals that mom needs a breast milk pump for Christmas, and that her baby brother Jaxton once peed in her mouth. Oh brother!
38) โMy 9 year old brotherโs note to Santa, signed by the man himself.โ
Apparently, a prankster gene runs in this family. 9-year-old Adam wanted Santa to provide proof of his existence, and he got exactly what he was asking for.
39) โClearly not afraid to ask the tough questions.โ
While most kids are content to just write out their wish list, 9-year-old Ella needs answers from Santa. For example, what happens if he gets sick on Christmas Eve? Does he have a backup Santa?
She also writes:
โP.S. Santa how old are you? Because youโve been around for generations.โ
Fuzhead171:
โSheโs also on the verge of calling bullshit on the whole thing.โ
40) Wishlist to Santa from silly 22-year-old
Not every boy who writes a letter to Santa is still a little kid. Scott, who is 22-years-old, is still a believer! Heโs hoping St. Nick will bring him a โgeraffeโ that goes neigh, some beer, and of course, a helicopter!
41) Hey Santa, are you here yet?
This older brother was nice enough to send a letter to Santa on his baby brotherโs behalf. But, instead of writing down a list of toys, he just drew a picture of his very impatient little brother!
fired off a letter to Santa
โMy eldest son wrote a letter on behalf of my 3yo. Itโs so true. Heโs been asking how long until Christmas since Januaryโฆ.โ
42) โA Christmas Card from my little sister.โ
Psst Santaโฆ Happy Merry Christmas! Oh, and donโt wait until the New Year to start your diet, because youโre a chubby hubby.
43) Maybe he wants something
This kid only wants a couple of things for Christmas, but his entire list is made up of the same two things written several different ways (and on the back page).
Do you think that maybe he wants a puppy/dog/fuzzy puppy and a kitten/cat/fuzzy kitten for Christmas?
44) Dear Santa, Chris is the man!
Hereโs another twentysomething who still believes in Santa. But, besides wanting the usual beer, 29-year-old Chris is also asking for something that everyone can benefit from โ world peace!
45) โIf anyone is having trouble getting into the Christmas spiritโฆ hereโs a letter to Santa written by one of my students.โ
Unlike the beer-guzzling twentysomething boys, this little girl thinks Santa is a total hoax. In fact, she knows who exactly who is behind all the gifts she gets every year! โEvery Christmas my mom gets me presents so I think youโre a fairy tale just to make good kids happy.โ
@Peggy Ward:
โWell, just to play it safe, Iโll write you a letter anyway!โ
46) โI canโt make this stuff up!! LMAO!!! This is my nephew Christmas list. Apparently he thought thatโs how you spelled โpantsโ.โ
Yes, a duck without his pants can be very a very awkward thing indeed. But, letโs forget about the pants for a moment and concentrate on the real issue here. Thereโs an important duck missing from this list โ duck duck goose!
47) I like how he thinks!
Unlike the greedy little titan who wanted 53 BILLION in addition to all his other gifts, this kiddo is happy to settle for only $25,000 and world peace.
48) โHe was told to write a letter to Santaโฆโ
Sadly, not every letter to Santa is about happy thoughts. This poor little kid wrote a note that sounded very dark and empty. Hopefully CPS came and took him to a better place!
โSanta, Im only doing this for the class. I know your notty list is emty. And your good list is emty. and your life is emty. You dont know the trouble Ive had in my life. Good bye. love, Im not telling you my name.โ
49) โMy daughterโs Christmas list to Santa.โ
Well, sheโs very polite, you can give her that much. But, sheโs also a little bit sneaky, too! She tried to hide a โrobot puppyโ and โrobot catโ in-between all the normal gifts, like hats and clothes.
50) Whatโs your reasoning behind that, Santa?
This kiddo must have been naughty. Heโs asking if Santa will give him a second chance. However, if the answer is no, then he better be prepared to write an essay explaining why!
51) Olivia, dear!
Sweet little Olivia doesnโt really care what she gets for Christmas. Sheโs more interested in getting personal with Santa!
The barrage of questions she hits him with include:
โDo you have a beard all year? How much do you weigh? How many elves do you have?โ
And without skipping a beat, she saved the most important two questions for last:
โWhen you poop is your poop the color of holiday candies? How many pairs of underwear do you have?โ
52) โMy kidโs first letter to Santa: not what I expected.โ
Instead of asking for the usual toys, this kid decided to gift Santa with something unexpected: a motivational letter! Apparently, she thought Santa could do with a little less backside.
โDear Santa, I think that you should be a lot more skinnier so on the back side there is a โpiksrโ of you being skinnier.โ
53) On the backsideโฆ.
On the other side of the page is a hand-drawn picture of a much thinner Santa lifting weights! Above that, the boy thoughtfully wrote a positive affirmation:
โYou can do this you know!โ
54) OMG, Becky, look at his letter!
What can he sayโฆ he loves big butts and he can not lie! Thatโs the entirety of this kidโs letter. He just wanted to share that little tidbit with Santa.
55) โMy sister just walked in & handed my parents her Christmas list. Donโt know if Iโm scared or impressed.โ
You should definitely be impressed since she listed โsaleโ prices in several places. Way to save your parents money!
@OBPanda:
โ$2,569.82 (not incl. tax). You know you were curious.โ
56) โMy teacher found this note to Santa in her 8 year-oldโs bedroom.โ
Geez, whatโs with these kids wanting to put Santa on a diet! Havenโt they ever heard of diet soda, and well, good old fashioned pleasantries?
57) Donโt sweat it if youโre broke.
Hey Santa, donโt worry about buying this kiddo anything if youโre short on cash. Just give her โtens and ones of moneyโ and sheโll be totally happy!
@comasutra:
โWelp, not to disappoint you but I know what kind of career she has lined upโฆ.. Banker of course.
58) Jackson the go-getter wants something McCheesy for his community.
This little boy has the right idea, wanting to do something for the greater good. But, is this a case of a little boy who cares, or a little boy whoโs really hungry for a Big Mac?
59) 1996 wish list: Ninentdo tapes and roller skates
When Joey was 7, all he wanted he wanted a SEGA, 75 cents in quarters, and his two front teeth. Oh, and he also wanted something else that he was probably a little bit embarrassed about, so he wrote it in very tiny letters: โa picher of a girl.โ
60) โThe quintessential 21st-century Santa letter introduction. From my household to yours.โ
Sorry, Santa. Looks like you have to work on getting your type 2 diabetes under control before you can upgrade to milk and cookies!
โDear Santa, please get me some things on my list. And there is some fruit salad & water to help your type 2 diabetes.โ
61) Santa, I know youโre just a marketing scheme.
Tyler says that Santa doesnโt exist because he defies all logic and physics. BUT, in case Santa does exist, Tyler has prepared a Christmas wish list โ and warning โ for him.
โI still want some things because you owe me money from when you had that gambling addiction. Anyways, you and Mrs. Claus better get your act together this year or the Dolphin Mafia might be after you.โ
62) I donโt want to hurt your feelings Santa, butโฆ
Sully really hates it when people call Santa fat. So, heโs decided to put a limit on how much dessert Santa can have, for his own good, of course!
โDear Santa, I gave you two cookies because I donโt want you to get fat and I want you to get healthy.โ
63) Just one chicken nugget, please.
This little boy must is ordering his presents as if he were at a fast food restaurant. He should probably ask if Santa can supersize the nugget!
64) What a cute little cubic zirconium digger.
Looks like someone wants some bling for Christmas! At least sheโs being sensible by trying to keep the costs low. All the jewelry on her list is from Walmart!
65) Jon Snow? Is that you under that red fat suit?
This guy just wants the boat in his yard to work. But, maybe he should have asked Santa for some help instead of โking of the north.โ
@Anne Haley:
โJon Snow knows nothing, so heโs probably not aware.โ
66) โSorry I didnโt believe in you for half the year!โ
Penelope was pretty sure that her dad was pulling her leg. But, she felt bad about not believing in Santa, so she โdecided to put different assortments of candy out for you and a few cookies and a tall glass of cold milk.โ What a lucky Santa Dad!
67) โIn case youโre having a bad day, hereโs my 3 year old sister and her Christmas list.โ
Santa wonโt be having a bad day after he reads this funny list! This cutie wants him to bring her a โtoy poop that says walky walky named Jumanji.โ After he stops laughing, Santa can try to figure out what that means.
68) Santa, Iโve been bad, butโฆ
This little boy knew he was being naughty when he flushed his little brotherโs head in the toilet. But, heโs really hoping that Santa will overlook his bad boy behavior and reward him with a puppy!
69) โMy 10 year old sonโs Christmas list. I may come up a little short on some of these.โ
This kid must really love dinosaurs. He wants a dinosaur fossil, dinosaur DNA, the dinosaur itself, a giant robotic dinosaur, a dinosaur bone, and last but not least, a dinosaur claw to complement his very robust dinosaur collection!
@The_Legacy_66:
โLooks like if you do let him down, he is feeding you to something with fangs. That or youโre getting shot with the snake cannon (with real snakes).โ
70) Well, at least heโs being honest.
Little Isaiah did as he was told and put out cookies for Santa and carrots for his reindeer. But you can tell his mom must have made him do it, because he says that he wishes he was the one eating the cookies!
71) โProofing Santa letters at workโฆโ
Jerry is a pretty simple kid who just wants a bulldog and science kit for Christmas. But, heโs also dreaming big and wants a port hole to Pokemon World, because, well, ITโS A PORT HOLE TO POKEMON WORLD!
72) โWe printed 600 Santa letters in the paper this year, and this is one of my favorites. The three-ring binder kills me.โ
Letโs see, this kiddo wants paper, a water bottle, pencils, and a three ring binderโฆ Wait, is this a Christmas list, or a back-to-school list?
73) Thereโs a good reason sheโs been good.
Sheโs been good, because sheโs been good, and thatโs why sheโs good! That about sums it up, Santa. Kids are just funny that way.
74) Dear Santa,whereโs my stuff?
Looks like Sophie is less concerned about presents, and more concerned about finding her missing black leggings. Maybe Santa knows where theyโre at?
75) Hey Santa, itโs Taco Tuesday!
This good little boy is nice to his family and likes playing with his friends. But, what he really wants to do is go out for tacos with Santa!
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