Santa receives millions of letters every year from kids that have been naughty, nice, and everything in-between. Most of these letters are just standard Christmas wish lists, but sometimes, just sometimes, there’s a cheeky little gem hidden among the usual requests for Xboxes, iPads, and toys.
For example, take the kid who wants a single chicken nugget to go with his fries and computer. That doesn’t seem like a tough request. But that’s just one of the 75 hilarious letters to Santa that tell him like it is!
1) “My daughter’s Christmas list.”
This little girl made sure that Santa couldn’t cop a lame excuse that he didn’t understand what she wanted. She wrote “cat” in 16 different languages!
@DiabeticStormTrooper:
“Now get her 16 cats.”
@FenixthePhoenix:
“In Korean she wrote 고양이 명 or “cat person”. I vote you get her one of those.”
If she gets 16 cats, she will be one of those!
2) “I told my first grade class they were writing their letters to Santa…I should have been more specific.”
Sometimes kids take things so literally. And when they do, it’s so cute!
@ElGatoGrande3234:
“I’ve wanted a ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ for years…that bastard never brought me it.”
3) “A letter to Santa from my brother’s 5th grade class…”
Uh oh, Santa better “pony” up this year and get this kid what he wants. Or there WILL be consequences!
@RodentOfUnusualSize:
“At first, I thought it said, “there will be carcasses.” I was concerned.”
4) “Don’t know if I should laugh or cry. #endofanera for Plachter family. #lettertosanta left in the cookie and milk plate.”
It was a good run, but now Ava knows the real truth. Still, she’s very appreciate of “Santa” and has enjoyed believing in him for the past ten and a half years.
5) “My 11 year old nephew made my mom a Christmas list. Lmao I feel you dawg.”
Jackson’s Christmas wish list include all the typical stuff a boy wants, like a pig, iPhone, cool knives, and candy-that’s-not-chocolate (a chocolate lab dog is okay, though). Oh, and he also wants a brand new President. That’s on everyone’s list no matter what year it is!
Okay, this kid deserves to get whatever this is. He wrote out the entire URL, in crayons no less, and made sure to get the upper/lower case and symbols correct.
You can see the item he wanted right here. I hope mom and dad rewarded him for his effort!
@Crappy_MSPaintPics:
“Kid didn’t underline it to make it a hyperlink.”
@Johnny_Derpp:
“Kids are so dumb. Santa gets all my links in text message.”
7) “So this store had a “Dear Santa” writing area for children and this is what I saw.”
Awww sweetie! We’ve all wanted Simba’s dad to wake up since the day he went to sleep. But, there are some things that even Santa can’t deliver.
@Zhivka Yatsova:
“And Bambi’s mother”
@Ashely Lopez:
“And Nemo’s mom and siblings”
8) Let’s be practical, Santa.
If you’re going to bring a present that needs batteries, then please bring some batteries. For both kids and adults alike, there’s nothing worse than receiving a gift that you can’t even play with yet!
9) “My mom is a 4th grade teacher. Here’s one of her Muslim student’s letters to Santa.”
In this adorable and heartwarming letter, this adorable little sweetpea tells Santa that even though she doesn’t celebrate Christmas, she wants to thank him for giving everyone presents.
She also wants to know his #1 secret of success. How in the world does he travel around the world making all those deliveries in a single night?
“Santa, thank you for spreading happiness around the earth. And say hi to Mrs. Claus for me.”
@mcchicken:
“+1 for the child’s innocence. No hate, no bashing of other religions, simply curious about life.”
@stoneagedudeman:
“Also curious about speeds and travel methods the likes of which we can’t explain right now. This kid will go far.”
10) “This is my 4-year-old’s letter to Santa. I think she’s on her way to becoming a doctor!”
Either that, or your true purpose in life is becoming a seismograph. Maybe she’ll go on to do great things, like predict earthquakes!
@DingDongApricot:
“When I was little I had a ‘diary’, I would think of the words and write scribbles like this! Squiggle squiggle indeed, my friend.”
11) “My niece’s letter to Santa.”
Little Emily wrote Santa to let him know that she changed her mind. Out of the 10 things on her list, she’s nixing 9 of them. And she wants is something the kid in all of us wants – a puppy! she’s not even picky – it could be a lab, husky, or even a German shepherd.
“Every time I think about not getting a puppy it makes me sadder and sadder. Thank you if I discover a puppy in a box under the tree.”
@aj5dv:
“I wrote this exact same thing to my parents this year. Only difference is i’m a 26 year old male. Her drawing was slightly better then mine though.”
12) He may look innocent Santa, but he’s the devil!
If you have brothers, you may relate to this letter from Evan. He gets the niceties out of the way first by asking Santa how he and his reindeer are doing. But then he tells St. Nick that his bro is the devil because he steals his games!
13) “So my cousin found out that Santa isn’t real…”
Hey kiddo, you forgave your parents for the Tooth Fairy, didn’t you? It’ll be fine, we all got over it.
@9ninety_nine9:
“Everyone comes to this realization eventually in their life, I don’t remember being angry about it, if anything I was impressed that my parents put so much effort into making something magical and special for me and it made me happy.”
14) “My good friend’s note to Santa right after Titanic came out. She was 9.”
Shawn Neill (GIRL) wants Santa to swing by with Leonardo DiCaprio for summer vacation. At first she wrote “Christmas” but crossed it out, probably because one day with the Titanic cutie wouldn’t be enough!
15) “Little brother wrote Santa a thank-you card…”
Kids may say the darndest things, but we’re the ones who are corrupt! Still, you might want to teach your little bro how to spell before Santa and his elves end up on a different kind of list!
16) “My sister is 9 and this is her Christmas list……. lol”
Selena’s little sister, Noel, wanted the usual girly things for Christmas, like clothes, shoes, an iPad, candles, and emoji stickers. But then at the very end, “no school” and “a better life” are also on her wish list! Kids can be so dramatic.
@laurenstrausser:
“I feel that on a spiritual level.”
Forget the all the usual iPads, games, and toys that’s on everyone else’s Christmas list. This guy is getting back to basics and keeping it simple!
@Tamara Laney:
“Yes! Pizza on earth and Goodwill towards man.”
18) “As a Jew, Christmas time was always the hardest time of the year. This is what I wrote to Santa when I was 9.”
In this letter to Santa, a sad little boy tells Santa that even though he’s Jewish, “I really love u.” He goes on to ask for a present, and says that he’s easy to recognize with his dark brown hair and brown eyes.
@psychie:
“My parents took me around to see the Christmas lights when I was about 5 or 6 years old. One of the houses had a Santa outside. My parents let me wait on line to sit on his lap and he goes “What do you want for Christmas?” and I say “I’m Jewish.” to which he replied “Me too!” My parents talked to him after and he was actually Jewish, but enjoyed celebrating the holidays!”
19) “My boy’s son put together his Christmas list. The random $29 has me rollin!”
Junior’s REVISED Christmas had his family cracking up. He sneaked a totally random $29 dollars in between totally normal requests like a PS4 and hover board.
@Jennifer .S:
“He clearly wants to buy something himself.”
@Wim Lammens:
“If that’s the case, let’s hope Santa remembers to bring 29 dollars PLUS TAX ;-)”
20) “This is the letter my niece sent to Santa. She’s 7.”
Sofia had every intention of being a good girl for winter vacation when she woke up on Saturday morning. But, like many of us, she couldn’t make it through the day without being naughty!
She has high hopes though, and asks if Santa will “give me a present anyway?”
21) Nice try, but no cigar.
The now-adult author of this letter says that apparently his 10-year-old self was “trying to take advantage of some perceived inefficiencies of the massive Santa’s workshop bureaucracy.” That, and he really wanted the AK-47.
@LoHare:
“Eh, just sneak that rifle in the middle of the list, no one would notice.”
22) Dear Santa, the beer is in the fridge by the door.
Flynn welcomed Santa into his home by offering him a whole case of Bud! Thankfully, one was enough for good old St. Nick.
Otherwise, it could have ended up like this cheeky scenario from @Aaron Pie:
“Wake up to find Santa passed out on the couch.”
23) “A note my 6 year old sister left for Santa hahaha.”
A passive-aggressive Elizabeth thanks Santa in her letter to him and says that he is “the best.” But only after she gives him a stern warning to keep out of her private things.
24) “5-year-old’s letter to Santa asking for GTA V: I just want to play with the cars, not the hookers!”
Like most boys, this one loves games and cars, and games with cars. But he wants to make it clear that his request for Grand Theft Auto 5 is all about the hot wheels, and not the hot chicks!
@crowdog09:
“I was 11 when GTA3 came out and everybody was talking about it. I remember a friend telling me “you can kill prostitutes!” In my innocent head I got prostitutes mixed up with Protestants and was left scratching my head, wondering how you could tell what their religion was just by looking at them.”
Good thing I still have time to change my list. I want what this kid’s having, especially the “pet crocodile that can catch me fish” and the “shark that goes underwater and grabs me corndogs that are already baked.”
26) “My childhood letter to Santa Claus.”
At first, a very Kim tries to butter up Santa by offering him an entire catalog of Super Nintendo games, AND a plate of homemade cookies. It isn’t until the end of her letter that she reveals her true ulterior motive towards St. Nick: “please clean my room.”
@Mama Panda:
“So many wasted childhood years of asking for toys when I could have asked for a clean room! I wonder if Santa would be willing to clean my house now? hahahaha”
27) A very simple but confusing wish.
Okay little Riley. Are you talking about a stuffed animal chicken to cuddle with, or the actual bird for dinner? Either way, it can be arranged!
@Rebekah:
“Everyone needs some good poultry.”
28) “Mall Santa, meet skeptical 8-year-old.”
This kid is grilling Santa with questions like, “do you get paid,” and “do you or did you smoke?” He also puts Santa to the test by asking “If you always know what kids want, what’s the first thing on my list?”
Must be the bazooka that you asked for.
@Poor Unfortunate Soul:
“I never thought about what the elves did as “slave labor” but… I’m rethinking things.”
29) Um, what kind of turtle was it that you wanted?
Juan Pablo is one smart little kid, and he wants a toy that does all his homework. He also wants a “niga tertll that fites.” Now, that’s my kind of crismiss wish list!
30) Her other pair ripped.
Yeah, you, me, and every other girl on the planet wants a big pair of… Oh wait, did you mean “tights?”
@Peggy Ward:
“Some grown ups never get this wish, but good luck!”
31) “Oink oink you capitalist pig!”
Josh probably thought he was being smart when he asked Santa why all of his toys say “Made in China.” He probably had no idea that anyone who has a bone to pick with Santa would be no match for the wrath of angry Redditers!
@Ripsaw99:
“Parents: now that Josh is in college maybe it’s time we tell him the truth about Santa.”
@MakingUpAUserNameIsTerrifying:
“Dear Josh, there is a simple reason. While I make sure most kids avoid China’s products, I’m hoping one of yours gives you lead poisoning.”
@elpaw:
“At least the Chinese workers get paid something. Before, the elves were unpaid slave labour.”
32) 10-year-old Calvin’s very detailed letter to Santa
Where do we even begin with this? Calvin, who’s been a very good boy, wants a nerf sword, bean bag chair, and a laptop, which he’s been asking for every single year.
“I find it ok that I haven’t gotten one over the last 4 to 5 years but hey, 10 years is a good laptop age.”
He also wants a new Samsung charger because his mom lost his (not that he’s pointing fingers), and along with the usual stuff that every boy wants, like Dungeons and Dragons, he also offhandedly mentions wanting a body pillow.
“P.S. You totally rock and are so awesome.”
@domo-loves-oshi:
“That’s a long a detailed want list, good, precise and clean grammar. This is very polite child.”
33) Letter to Santa, circa 1993
Back in 1993 Santa got off pretty easy! He didn’t have to deliver any presents to this kiddo, who said that dad would be providing the gifts that year. What a very polite little sweetie!
34) He only wants to very polar opposite things.
This kid got straight to the point. He wants 2 orange gold fish, which is totally reasonable, but the jet he’s been eyeballing all year might be a little bit harder for Santa to come by.
35) “How to make sure Santa is real, 8yo logic”
Even though he has a long Christmas list, this little boy actually isn’t very greedy. He’s asking Santa to give him just one item on the list, which includes a skateboard, Xbox, and a “high woman’s shoes for his mom (so he says)
36) Dear Santa, this year, “millions” just won’t do.
Chris starts off by saying sorry for being bad in the past, but then he wastes no time in letting Santa know that there’s only one thing on his wish list.
“But what I want for Christmas this year is 53 billion dollars.”
37) Addisyn’s letter to Santa is the cutest one ever!
Addisyn writes to Santa like she’s writing to an old friend. In fact, she might be divulging a little bit too much information! The adorable girl reveals that mom needs a breast milk pump for Christmas, and that her baby brother Jaxton once peed in her mouth. Oh brother!
38) “My 9 year old brother’s note to Santa, signed by the man himself.”
Apparently, a prankster gene runs in this family. 9-year-old Adam wanted Santa to provide proof of his existence, and he got exactly what he was asking for.
39) “Clearly not afraid to ask the tough questions.”
While most kids are content to just write out their wish list, 9-year-old Ella needs answers from Santa. For example, what happens if he gets sick on Christmas Eve? Does he have a backup Santa?
She also writes:
“P.S. Santa how old are you? Because you’ve been around for generations.”
Fuzhead171:
“She’s also on the verge of calling bullshit on the whole thing.”
40) Wishlist to Santa from silly 22-year-old
Not every boy who writes a letter to Santa is still a little kid. Scott, who is 22-years-old, is still a believer! He’s hoping St. Nick will bring him a “geraffe” that goes neigh, some beer, and of course, a helicopter!
41) Hey Santa, are you here yet?
This older brother was nice enough to send a letter to Santa on his baby brother’s behalf. But, instead of writing down a list of toys, he just drew a picture of his very impatient little brother!
fired off a letter to Santa
“My eldest son wrote a letter on behalf of my 3yo. It’s so true. He’s been asking how long until Christmas since January….”
42) “A Christmas Card from my little sister.”
Psst Santa… Happy Merry Christmas! Oh, and don’t wait until the New Year to start your diet, because you’re a chubby hubby.
43) Maybe he wants something
This kid only wants a couple of things for Christmas, but his entire list is made up of the same two things written several different ways (and on the back page).
Do you think that maybe he wants a puppy/dog/fuzzy puppy and a kitten/cat/fuzzy kitten for Christmas?
44) Dear Santa, Chris is the man!
Here’s another twentysomething who still believes in Santa. But, besides wanting the usual beer, 29-year-old Chris is also asking for something that everyone can benefit from – world peace!
45) “If anyone is having trouble getting into the Christmas spirit… here’s a letter to Santa written by one of my students.”
Unlike the beer-guzzling twentysomething boys, this little girl thinks Santa is a total hoax. In fact, she knows who exactly who is behind all the gifts she gets every year! “Every Christmas my mom gets me presents so I think you’re a fairy tale just to make good kids happy.”
@Peggy Ward:
“Well, just to play it safe, I’ll write you a letter anyway!”
46) “I can’t make this stuff up!! LMAO!!! This is my nephew Christmas list. Apparently he thought that’s how you spelled ‘pants’.”
Yes, a duck without his pants can be very a very awkward thing indeed. But, let’s forget about the pants for a moment and concentrate on the real issue here. There’s an important duck missing from this list – duck duck goose!
47) I like how he thinks!
Unlike the greedy little titan who wanted 53 BILLION in addition to all his other gifts, this kiddo is happy to settle for only $25,000 and world peace.
48) “He was told to write a letter to Santa…”
Sadly, not every letter to Santa is about happy thoughts. This poor little kid wrote a note that sounded very dark and empty. Hopefully CPS came and took him to a better place!
“Santa, Im only doing this for the class. I know your notty list is emty. And your good list is emty. and your life is emty. You dont know the trouble Ive had in my life. Good bye. love, Im not telling you my name.”
49) “My daughter’s Christmas list to Santa.”
Well, she’s very polite, you can give her that much. But, she’s also a little bit sneaky, too! She tried to hide a “robot puppy” and “robot cat” in-between all the normal gifts, like hats and clothes.
50) What’s your reasoning behind that, Santa?
This kiddo must have been naughty. He’s asking if Santa will give him a second chance. However, if the answer is no, then he better be prepared to write an essay explaining why!
Sweet little Olivia doesn’t really care what she gets for Christmas. She’s more interested in getting personal with Santa!
The barrage of questions she hits him with include:
“Do you have a beard all year? How much do you weigh? How many elves do you have?”
And without skipping a beat, she saved the most important two questions for last:
“When you poop is your poop the color of holiday candies? How many pairs of underwear do you have?”
52) “My kid’s first letter to Santa: not what I expected.”
Instead of asking for the usual toys, this kid decided to gift Santa with something unexpected: a motivational letter! Apparently, she thought Santa could do with a little less backside.
“Dear Santa, I think that you should be a lot more skinnier so on the back side there is a “piksr” of you being skinnier.”
On the other side of the page is a hand-drawn picture of a much thinner Santa lifting weights! Above that, the boy thoughtfully wrote a positive affirmation:
“You can do this you know!”
54) OMG, Becky, look at his letter!
What can he say… he loves big butts and he can not lie! That’s the entirety of this kid’s letter. He just wanted to share that little tidbit with Santa.
55) “My sister just walked in & handed my parents her Christmas list. Don’t know if I’m scared or impressed.”
You should definitely be impressed since she listed “sale” prices in several places. Way to save your parents money!
@OBPanda:
“$2,569.82 (not incl. tax). You know you were curious.”
56) “My teacher found this note to Santa in her 8 year-old’s bedroom.”
Geez, what’s with these kids wanting to put Santa on a diet! Haven’t they ever heard of diet soda, and well, good old fashioned pleasantries?
57) Don’t sweat it if you’re broke.
Hey Santa, don’t worry about buying this kiddo anything if you’re short on cash. Just give her “tens and ones of money” and she’ll be totally happy!
@comasutra:
“Welp, not to disappoint you but I know what kind of career she has lined up….. Banker of course.
58) Jackson the go-getter wants something McCheesy for his community.
This little boy has the right idea, wanting to do something for the greater good. But, is this a case of a little boy who cares, or a little boy who’s really hungry for a Big Mac?
59) 1996 wish list: Ninentdo tapes and roller skates
When Joey was 7, all he wanted he wanted a SEGA, 75 cents in quarters, and his two front teeth. Oh, and he also wanted something else that he was probably a little bit embarrassed about, so he wrote it in very tiny letters: “a picher of a girl.”
60) “The quintessential 21st-century Santa letter introduction. From my household to yours.”
Sorry, Santa. Looks like you have to work on getting your type 2 diabetes under control before you can upgrade to milk and cookies!
“Dear Santa, please get me some things on my list. And there is some fruit salad & water to help your type 2 diabetes.”
61) Santa, I know you’re just a marketing scheme.
Tyler says that Santa doesn’t exist because he defies all logic and physics. BUT, in case Santa does exist, Tyler has prepared a Christmas wish list – and warning – for him.
“I still want some things because you owe me money from when you had that gambling addiction. Anyways, you and Mrs. Claus better get your act together this year or the Dolphin Mafia might be after you.”
62) I don’t want to hurt your feelings Santa, but…
Sully really hates it when people call Santa fat. So, he’s decided to put a limit on how much dessert Santa can have, for his own good, of course!
“Dear Santa, I gave you two cookies because I don’t want you to get fat and I want you to get healthy.”
63) Just one chicken nugget, please.
This little boy must is ordering his presents as if he were at a fast food restaurant. He should probably ask if Santa can supersize the nugget!
64) What a cute little cubic zirconium digger.
Looks like someone wants some bling for Christmas! At least she’s being sensible by trying to keep the costs low. All the jewelry on her list is from Walmart!
65) Jon Snow? Is that you under that red fat suit?
This guy just wants the boat in his yard to work. But, maybe he should have asked Santa for some help instead of “king of the north.”
@Anne Haley:
“Jon Snow knows nothing, so he’s probably not aware.”
66) “Sorry I didn’t believe in you for half the year!”
Penelope was pretty sure that her dad was pulling her leg. But, she felt bad about not believing in Santa, so she “decided to put different assortments of candy out for you and a few cookies and a tall glass of cold milk.” What a lucky Santa Dad!
67) “In case you’re having a bad day, here’s my 3 year old sister and her Christmas list.”
Santa won’t be having a bad day after he reads this funny list! This cutie wants him to bring her a “toy poop that says walky walky named Jumanji.” After he stops laughing, Santa can try to figure out what that means.
68) Santa, I’ve been bad, but…
This little boy knew he was being naughty when he flushed his little brother’s head in the toilet. But, he’s really hoping that Santa will overlook his bad boy behavior and reward him with a puppy!
69) “My 10 year old son’s Christmas list. I may come up a little short on some of these.”
This kid must really love dinosaurs. He wants a dinosaur fossil, dinosaur DNA, the dinosaur itself, a giant robotic dinosaur, a dinosaur bone, and last but not least, a dinosaur claw to complement his very robust dinosaur collection!
@The_Legacy_66:
“Looks like if you do let him down, he is feeding you to something with fangs. That or you’re getting shot with the snake cannon (with real snakes).”
70) Well, at least he’s being honest.
Little Isaiah did as he was told and put out cookies for Santa and carrots for his reindeer. But you can tell his mom must have made him do it, because he says that he wishes he was the one eating the cookies!
71) “Proofing Santa letters at work…”
Jerry is a pretty simple kid who just wants a bulldog and science kit for Christmas. But, he’s also dreaming big and wants a port hole to Pokemon World, because, well, IT’S A PORT HOLE TO POKEMON WORLD!
72) “We printed 600 Santa letters in the paper this year, and this is one of my favorites. The three-ring binder kills me.”
Let’s see, this kiddo wants paper, a water bottle, pencils, and a three ring binder… Wait, is this a Christmas list, or a back-to-school list?
73) There’s a good reason she’s been good.
She’s been good, because she’s been good, and that’s why she’s good! That about sums it up, Santa. Kids are just funny that way.
74) Dear Santa,where’s my stuff?
Looks like Sophie is less concerned about presents, and more concerned about finding her missing black leggings. Maybe Santa knows where they’re at?
75) Hey Santa, it’s Taco Tuesday!
This good little boy is nice to his family and likes playing with his friends. But, what he really wants to do is go out for tacos with Santa!
Please SHARE this with your friends and family.
