Aside from knowing about their refreshing green fields, towering mountains, and of course their love of whiskey, there are still tons of things we do not know about Scots and Scotland. Well, prepare yourself as these slides contain vital information coming straight from the horse’s mouth. Here are over 70 tweets coming from native Scottish folk that are sure to entertain you in every sense of the word. Prepare for utter vulgarity as it’s pretty common knowledge to know that Scottish people do not hold back. Sit back, pour some whiskey, and get ready for a ridiculously hilarious ride.
The term immigrant here is meant to be derogatory, but don’t let it offend you. By now you should know that Scottish people don’t mean to offend. That’s just in their nature to be this blunt and direct.
There are many nice things one could say about the U.K. , but Scotland is definitely amongst the best. Or so this person believes. Based on the multitude of bad words that get strung into a sentence, we’d like to think this person is right.
You trust your mom and your barber as the only trustworthy people on this planet. Why’s that? Because a barber has the skills to flip your day in the most positive way.
No truer words have ever been spoken. It took all this time for a Scottish person to come out and say what needed to be said for a long time. Now to compare this to a person in their death bed is simply…dark and eery.
At least it tries to portray an accurate picture. If you tried to imagine how you would look like a drunk and without a sense of cause, then just window shop a Scottish store like this one, and you’ll see how. Grab your latest drunk slacks and drunk shirt today!
Not even a viral epidemic can handle going toe-to-toe against a person from Scotland. They’re mean, lean, and ready to handle anything. Just try and see what happens COVID!
This one has left us without words. It’s not common to find something as unabashfully blunt these days. Leave it to the Scottish to make things this direct.
The Scottish have an interesting curiousity towards the Caribbean. Especially when it comes to the food. This person made sure to relay the information to their fellow compatriots.
Some people prefer to keep the best tools hidden for the right time. This barber was ready to pull out his best equipment and it was too much for his client to handle. Quality over quantity is the name of the game with this Scottish person.
Talk about bipolar weather. Scotland is known to have bitter winters as well as sweltering summers. A land of the extreme in every sense of the word.
11) Speaking For Equality
As harsh as it may sound, J.K. Rowling deserves some flack for her controversial comments. It’s best to leave it out in public so that way the message can resonate stronger. Leave it to the Scottish for a proper roasting worth reading.
Little details are irrelevant to some Scottish people. Checkout this clock that was replaced by a pizza. The fact that his mom couldn’t tell the difference makes the joke even more funny.
13) The Pandemic Aftermath
It isn’t a party without the Scottish. Leave it to them to create massacres in the name of social and political change. It’s what we can expect after a year of the worst pandemic we’ve seen in quite some time.
Freedom talk is no joke to the Scots. They’ll draw the line when it comes to blabbing adult idiots who don’t care about the preservation of human life. That’s what’s called being a true protector of human values.
So we’re guessing eggs in Scotland also come in their own unique sizes? I guess Dinosaurs aren’t the only thing that comes with the island. Although a Jurassic park themed park with bagpipes sounds like a cool fun place to go during the summer.
Not sure where the enthusiasm in the humor comes in, but we’ll take that. A meal that is microwaved is obviously going to be a hot one, but for Scottish people, anything is hot as long as it goes through the appliance. A real jokester this guy is.
This A and B conversation definitely had a third wheel. Animals have the survival instincts and intuition to communicate in some odd form. Not sure what this Scottish person was thinking.
If werewolves exist in London, then were-bats might be a thing in Scotland. You’ll be amazed at all the gothic creatures that come out at night in the streets of the once Celtic area. Keep your wits about you while you tread in Scotland!
Sometimes it takes serious translation work to get through heavy Scottish slang. This is definitely one of those moments. A public service announcement to all Scottish folk: try to make it easier on us next time!
20) Merry Bleeping* Christmas
Profanity is part of the normal vernacular when it comes to Scottish tradition. Nothing says it more bluntly and directly than a few expletives for added dramatization. Don’t take it offensively next time a Scot decides to toss a bad word out for no reason whatsoever.
The string of family relatives involved in this post is enough to make you scratch your head. However these pups relate, it’s good to know they hold a prominent position in the family. Taking care of dogs and incorporating them into the family has always been a great trait of many Scottish families around the world.
Don’t be afraid to crack open a pack of hedgehogs. Only, make sure to finish your pack and not leave one behind like this one here. Scottish people will just scoff at you and make a funny joke about it without caring for animals rights
This is disturbing. Scotts are known for being experimental, but this is just anecdotal gold. The fact that it got to this point is telling of how open-minded Scottish society must be. Good luck getting all that bird information put to good use.
Somehow this was a valid entry on a voting card. And even more surprising, it actually got counted! Things are definitely different across the bond over in the U.K. Let’s hope things on that end of the spectrum are doing better than in the United States.
25) The Grand Prize Goes To
This is just utter ridiculousness. Does this type of stuff happen often in Scotland? At least one person found some humor and responded with what could be the greatest use of a pun in the last decade.
This Scot wasn’t down with the currency exchange rate. Who could blame him? A scoop of ice cream should not be worth 10 euros unless its the greatest scoop of ice cream in the world.
Well, that was straight-up brutal. Hopefully, the kid isn’t too hurt by such comments. It seems dad was already in a pissy attitude at the mere mention of “chicken pie for dinner”, so it wasn’t that surprising that we got a truth bomb exploded right in our faces.
Awkard moments leave a dry taste in the mouth. This one was nothing short of bitter and definitely not sweet. Hopefully, the little boy wasn’t too offended since the comment came at him with good intentions.
A page from this person’s playbook would’ve been useful back in the day. Props for using math and allocating proper resources, but it was all in vain since the alcohol definitely killed some of this person’s neurons. This isn’t very surprising since Scotts do like their alcohol.
Whoever said Scottish people don’t have a good sense of fashion? Clearly, they are mistaken since they do try to keep up with the latest fashion. Don’t listen to all of that outside noise if it doesnt back up the talk.
Keeping it simple has a new meaning for vegans in Scotland. Talk about getting the right meal with a Mars bar and croissant. At least this person has the option of no meat. Some places in America can’t guarantee that luxury.
Recognizing a crisper eater as a champion is a thing of prestige amongst the Scottish. It should be noted since they are quite tasty and great for competition. Not quite the Nathan’s Hot Dog contest, but it will have to do for now.
The comparison is actually hilarious. Scottish people are all about the liberties granted to the common folk. They yearn to live a life out of enslavement and are prepared to do just that when it comes to intimate relations.
Not sure what this person meant by the chippie menu, but we can imagine it would be something hard to read. Again, nobody is safe from the Scottish roasting line of fire. Not even ex first lady Melania Trump.
Nevermind the occasion. The fact that he got a vacuum at bongos bingo setting is truly a ridiculous notion. There’s one lucky contestant that got his prize money and walked away with a great big smile.
Way to state the obvious. We wonder why the twin dilemma was even mentioned in the first place. Something things you can’t reason with in Scotland.
37) Not All Is What It Seems
Whatever pictures of Scotland you have, get it out of your hand. It’s a land of potty mouths and alcohol drinkers galore. Sunshines and rainbows are a thing of fairy tales, not Scotland.
One thing the Scots are known for is their smack talk. If there’s one group of people you don’t want to get into a verbal spat with, it’s probably them. Even Yeezy can get in the line of fire for something totally unrelated to his line of shoes.
Freedom of expression and embrace of different people is huge in Scotland. Nobody truly cares where you’re from as long as you’re respectful and can have a good time. Just be careful not to piss off that one random Scottish person on the street.
A sports event for the ages. Is it possible to even dream something like this? One can never be limited on such things.
The Scots don’t play when it comes to giving respect. It’s in the history and context of actions worth noticeable, even if its based on the humble beginnings of a urinal. Don’t forget to pay those that came before the proper respect they deserve.
Did we mention Scots know how to bring on the fire? If you can’t take the heat, it’s best to get out of the kitchen. Just don’t piss them off as they’ll bring anyone (including Houdini) to the conversation.
Momma jokes are included in the package. Scottish people will fire at anyone if they’re given the chance to. You’re sure to at least have a laugh when it comes to their snappy comebacks.
No signal isn’t a bad signal. Especially when you have a satellite on your roof that doesn’t do much. Quit the tv and maybe put on the radio for a better sense of entertainment.
Things happen all the time and an ostrich on the loose in Ayrshire is no exception. You better have a fast pair of legs to catch this speed demon. Too bad they’re virtually impossible to catch on land since they can reach speeds of up to 60 mph. Unless you’re Scottish and have a fifth of alcohol ready to go!
The Scottish are willing to even put their relatives on the line when it comes to their ideals. Just check out this son’s plan to sabotage his dad on the election. Truly maddening what some people can think of.
47) Accentuate The Accent
Scottish trying to do a Scottish accent? Sounds about right. Just don’t overdo it or you might never be able to undo your accent in normal conversations ever again.
If this was your mom, you would be scared too. Why anyone would do this is beyond us. It does really look like someone really wanted to go to the other side.
Savage is the operative word for this person. They knew exactly how to respond after getting a raspberry blown at her. If that was the first offense in years, we couldn’t imagine the last time someone ticked this person off.
50) Taxation and Fair Representation
This speaks volumes about the current political atmosphere in the U.K. While some are for, most are opposed to the Brexit strategy. The post captures perfectly how most Scottish folks are feeling about the current status quo of the nation.
Never has Pikachu been called a unit we’re sure. The Scottish sure do have a way with words. If a unit is supposed to mean fat, then how do they refer to any standard of measurement?
Growing up takes time. These ladies sure took it slow and ripened into savory alcoholic grapes. In true Scottish fashion, this is how to party.
Whether Scottish tweets have the style of trainspotting is yet to be seen. Our laughter just confirms that we wouldn’t change it for anything. Keep bringing more moments of humor Scottish people!
Lightning McQueen never could have imagined a Queen Elizabeth comparison. Sarcasm is every Scottish person’s hidden language. It takes a shot at anyone and anything, including the Queen.
Apparently wifi now has the ability to remotely slow down a bus. At least that’s what this streetside homeless person claims. Never a dull moment when you’re around Scottish people.
For anyone interested in funny statitstics, here you go. Have fun figuring out why this comparison was made in the first place. Don’t underestimate the Scots in this bout!
Our sympathies to your cat whomever you are. It’s a good thing your mate has a funny sense of humor about a truly sad situation. It’s always good to have a Scottish friend around to ground you after some deep grieving.
58) Locking The Lochness Monster
This is the perfect motivator for your kids to behave. Scare them with a little bit of mythical folklore to encourage good behavior. Whether it works or not, they’re sure to have some dreams about the story depending on how you give it to them.
A hard foul against those whose dads is doing time. No mercy is the name of the game in Scottish banter. It must be tough to grow without a father, but at least having some sense of humor helps you get through the day.
Bagpipes, skirts, and hills are what people typically think about Scotland. What we get in reality is much more different. Junkies are a common sight and dog walking is everyone’s hobby.
Early exits suck for characters wanting to extend their screenplay. This one was axed right from the get-go. That’s what happens when half of your progress has been a result of war and violence.
Beeping at someone on the road might be the equivalent of trying to start something. It can really perturb someone if they don’t expect it to come their way. Just take a look at this beep reaction. Not a very happy camper indeed.
It’s important to build structure and order with your dog. Even if it means wearing an entire neon lime outfit and look obnoxious. Scotts will do anything to make sure they’re enjoying their day no matter the outfit or look they have about them.
Not quite, but you get the picture. This house is easily visible from the entrance and there’s no way to hide the contents. People do live pretty freely in Scotland and this is just another example.
It never hurts to ask. Even if you do get shut down. Try as he might, this person at least did what they could to bring a smile to a little girl’s face that day.
Now, while this may seem trivial to some cultures, it is utter disrespect to those of the Islamic faith. The last part is what had us scratching our heads to some utter craziness. How did nobody catch this lunatic on the street waving a machete?
Brutally mashing commands leads nowhere. You have to have some order and steps to complete your project or idea. Just sometimes, what you had in mind may not have been the best course of action.
The Scottish Batman is probably a more drunk version of Bruce Wayne with a snarky attitude. He steers the streets clear of drug users and makes sure crime is cleaned up diligently. Don’t mind the gap in the language.
Ouch, talk about getting put down! It’s no holds bar when it comes to arguing with a Scottish person. As a word of advice: you are likely to get burned.
We won’t go into detail about what a “fanny” is, but let’s just say it’s not something very nice to say. Nothing new here since, After all, the Scots don’t bring a filter to their conversations. We’ll also appreciate the honesty in this person’s behavior that night
Otters on a currency? Who else but the Scottish! That’s appealing enough to want to get a note just for memorabilia.
Anyway the Scottish can get encouragement they will proceed. Even if its pretending to get pricked by a cactus and making sounds. A little weird, but kind of a adorably sweet at the same time.
That’s what we call upholding a responsible social contract. Were the words too stern? Yes, but this sort of thing requires that the person recognize the severity of the situation.
The world is wide and without the internet, it would be much harder to hear voices from all over it. Let’s all be grateful for the opportunity to meet people from different countries, especially these interesting folks and their hilarious personalities.
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