That’s a whole 20 cents your stole from the federal government. That’ll show ’em not to mess with creative types!

@firstworldanarchist:

“Dude, that might be a felony. Your dad is a badass.”

High school teens are always the biggest goofballs around! But, now that they’ve graduated, all the pervy jokes at the high school have gone kind of flat.

@senior_met:

“My high school has a tradition that each year’s graduating class tries to make their t-shirt a subtle d**k joke…for example, the class of 2011 said “check out our big ones” and then had a giant 11 on the back.”

Jeez, whatever happened to just dressing up your locker with textbooks and weed? Kids are so complicated these days! But, that dinosaur tea party is actually pretty cool.

@zearthen:

“Worked at Office depot and we sold the dumbest locker accessories. Trash cans to hold pencils, deer heads to mount to the sides, these chandeliers, plush carpeting / wallpapers, etc. Had no idea what people actually did with this stuff until now so thank you.”

Uh oh, you’ve been marked! Don’t be surprised if you find a horse’s head in your bed when you get home.

@pdmcmahon:

“When I was around 10, I failed a class exam. When I went to the teacher, I asked him why he failed me. He looked me dead in the eyes and asked “why did you fail me?” I was stone cold, nothing, I had no reply.”

Doors are not to be trifled with. They’re just waiting for a chance to slam into your butt on the way out of the room.

@maydaze:

“The personification of doors. I like it.”

@supergalactic:

“Just wait until you meet an elevator therapist.”

The professor is looking pretty proud of your brother’s accomplishments, too. Did he by chance order his graduate certificate on Amazon?

@RunDNA:

“That makes him a Post-Graduate.”

This weeks score: students 1, cops 0! Next week they’re going to up the ante and try their hand at seeing who wins at cops and robbers.

@Floor:

“I remember doing this as a kid. Pretend to hide but just go home. Or when playing ‘police vs bad guys’ in the neighborhood and stop at home for a drink and just forget people are searching for you. Kinda cruel now that I think about it.”

It takes baby steps to get to this level of risk-taking. He started off by drinking milk one day past its expiration date.

@mindbreaths:

“I actually refuse to do this. Sometimes I don’t even drink it if it is within 2 days of the date. When I was about 7 my dad forced me to drink 4 day expired milk to “fix my fear”. I cried.”

The devil is already up to his ears in boring bad guys. But if you have some innocent souls to trade, I hear the exchange rate is around 66 cupcakes for every 6 souls.

@mecheng93:

“Sounds like the joke of “Bob has 3 apples he gives jack 2…now calculate the radius of the sun.”

That’s some pretty clever ingenuity right there! But, let’s see how well he can read his own chicken scratch if you take his red and blue glasses away.

@sneakyburrito:

“I always loved note-card allowed exams. I thought I was getting one over on the teacher (Hah! I wrote suuuuper small, take that!) but I always ended up learning more of the material because I actually spent time studying by putting together my card.”

Oooh look! They even have pictures to show you how to place your koala bear on the sacrificial altar in case you’re new at this.

@Sara Lang:

“That reminds me of an incident in Oxford a few years back. Two visiting foreign students asked me what the “Baby-change” notice meant on the toilet door. I said, “Oh, that’s in case you don’t like your baby. You can take it in there and change it for another one” You should have seen their faces!!”

Don’t trust him! It’s a long con – one day he’s going to wear it on a Tuesday just to throw everyone off again.

@friennd:

“I actually thought the title of the picture was referring to his wig.”

@KMBoggs:

“That’s what’s off about him. I kept looking thinking, this kid is hiding something.”

It’s just way too tempting to resist! Penciling in “og” at the end completes us…and him.

@creddox:

“Every time he hears this joke, he dies a little more inside.”

@AnotherBlackNerd:

“Then when he does die, someone will write ‘og’ on his tombstone.”

Actually, college is a place where big kids learn how to drink, skip out on responsibilities, and gain weight. You know, all the important adulting skills they’ll need later on.

@kgb_operative:

“Yeah, college isn’t for growing up. The point of it is to figure out how much childish sh*t you can get away with and still function in society…which might be what it means to grow up, now that I think about it.”

So what happened next? Imma ’bout to spill my Mountain Dew in anticipation here. Don’t leave us – or the Cheetos – hanging, dude!

Real life is coming. When you play the game of debt, you pay or you die.

@brookers:

“A girl is not no one. A girl still has a ton of student loans to pay off.”

Team building skills are so important! Now when they get a real job, they’ll already know how to pass the buck.

@joahs_ark:

“If you look at the intensity of their little sh*t eating grins you can almost tell the order in which they went. I like to imagine they had them from looking at the photographers face.”

The formal-dehyde dude is really bare bones when it comes to covering up. He must be one of those nudist molecules.

@thetincan:

“I didn’t know a birthday suit was considered formal among molecules.”

@Westonhaus:

“I have this on my white board at work… I put a black tie on the formaldehyde because some of the co-ops didn’t get it.”

This is why you should be weary of tables in public places. You never know what kind of nerdy animal has been rubbing their feet all over it!

@Vinosaurusness:

“Dated an engineering student, this is highly accurate. The only thing missing is the silent tears of frustration.”

Anyone who can walk in heels with a prosthetic leg is anything but dumb. That takes some real brain skills!

@DrBuckarooBonzai:

“Do colleges really accept human limbs as payment? Because holy sh*t, I could start a scholarship fund with my basement freezer.”

Hey, what’s that tiny gibberish in the bottom left corner? Ha ha, Sean, you really are the best!

@TommyStJames:

“I remember reading that paper and I was like what the hell…. Who is Sean. Plus 1 my fellow townie.”

Jeez, these days Edgar Allen Poe-t wannabes can’t even draw straight when they try to rhyme. It makes you question the purity of those lines.

@taco_whisperer:

“I don’t know what to do, I just don’t have the money for the 32 line poem due by Friday.”

Now here’s a future CEO in the making. Work smarter, not harder, right?

@Nail_Biterr:

“In a creative writing course in college, we read a short story about a husband and a wife fighting over their pet bird. The story was actually 2 stories: 1 from husband POV and 1 from wife POV. Our assignment was to write a 3rd POV from the bird. I handed in 3 hand written pages that just said “chirp” over and over. I got an A.”

Not so fast, Jaffar. We all know you’re that dough-screwing guy from American Pie!

Okay, but that book of Clementi piano sonatas sounds like a real gem. Just leave the door unlocked – problem solved!

@ghettochipmunk:

“Once knew a guy who drove an ’81 Volvo (this was in 2011). He left his keys on top of his car everywhere he went. Going in the movie theater? Keys left on top of the car. Grocery shopping in Kroger? Keys on top of the car. He was always so disappointed when he’d get back to the parking lot and it was still there.”

What about Bill S. Preston Esq. from Bill & Ted? That would make this pole the most excellent of them all!

@slid3r:

“Just another zany day in the life of the student body at Originality State University.”

That’s some some next level savant smarts right there. Just give him a diploma already!

@Grunvagr:

“If he actually came up with the drawing entirely through math pretty sure he can teach the class.”

Na na na na, Batman! This kid deserves extra credit for drawing eyes like a boss and crafting a clever connect-the-dots game in addition to finishing the test early.

Jeez Gary…really? You just couldn’t keep it to yourself, could you?

@DeliciousHitler:

“I see you fellow Chapel Hill Imugr! A bit of a back story on this guy, been here for years, once assaulted a baby stroller 3 years back.”

Oh honey, you knew exactly what you were doing. When you flash your drumsticks in a thigh-high slit dress like that, no one is going to pay any attention to your flask.

We now have technology where we can 3D print just about anything, and this is the best we can come up with? Anyone of us can mastermind this kind of junk for free while Redditing on the toilet.

@StrangeStars:

“Possibly the most disturbing thing i have seen in a long, long time.”

The Seniors of 17′ will forever be remembered as the one thousand morons who forgot to do a simple spell check. The apostrophe is supposed to go in front of the numbers, not-so-smarty pants!

@oxenmeat:

“These kids. Back in my day seniors ran a dead sheep up the flagpole like real Americans.”

Your sister is one tough broad to have lived through the dab dance, fidget spinners, and the stupid bottle flip trick. But, where’s the evil slime?

@canadiandoop:

“Man, my sister is in the 7th grade and she makes her own slime and sells it at school. She made $400 in two weeks. She sold each Tupperware container of slime for $5 a piece. It’s crazy how popular that stuff got.”

Is it really a proper orgy without pencil sharpeners? They’re what really makes a party like this turn into some “50 shades of lead” fun!

@ayee7:

“This is actually a great way to make friends.”

If you need some help sorting out that teeny cut or scrape on your hand, this paper cut finder will do the trick. Just make sure there aren’t any little kids around when you start swearing at Jesus!

@Saddleup:

“Ooo nothing like the cool, unforgiving burn of medical alcohol! yikes.”

It’s definitely a catch 42. She’s too ugly to be a trophy wife, but not smart enough to be anything else. I guess a rich blind dude is her only hope.

Mission accomplished! That doggy’s adorable smile is the best. But, those shoes are really something else!

I definitely recommend staying away from the ones with strange writing all over it. It’s weird for a reason!

@jonathanoberg:

“I’m broken: I was expecting ‘send nudes.'”

It might seem like a joke until you really think it through. Imagine “accidentally” spilling water all over those Dallas Cowboy cheerleader’s uniforms and pretending it’s because you’re just a dumb water boy.

@festivusmiraclewhip:

“Considering they get paid about 53k a year, he’s a smart kid.”

Looks like the senior class at Cumberland High School played out their last hurrah in a hilariously smashing way. Pranksters cleverly used tape and a black tarp to make it look like an old junker crashed through a brick wall near the principals office.

“You had everyone a little nervous this morning! The police department is saying this senior pranks was “one of the best senior pranks that Cumberland High School has seen.”

It’s all fun and games at your college graduation until it finally dawns on you that taxes and student loans are the two things that you can’t escape from until you’re dead. And now you have booth looming over your head!

How times have changed! Back in the day, girls didn’t need a whole parking space full of painted drama to tell everyone that they were “late.”

That’s actually pretty good! It starts off with some action to reel you in, and then the story deals a surprise blow by revealing the true nature of the main protagonist at the very end.

@CpnKangaroo:

“When he handed it in, he should’ve said: Y’all act like you never seen a white paper before.”

Congratulations, brave one, you finally broke his cloak of loneliness spell. He’s probably been waiting for months for the opportunity to tell that joke!

Hey, whatever happened to sharing? I want one, too!

The note is totally right, you know. No one can walk past this fine piece of metal and not want to bang it…repeatedly. This must have been what Robert Palmer meant when he sang about “Get It On (Bang A Gong)” back in the 80’s!

Well, he’s not wrong! You can see where started to workout the problem, but then he erased it after his brain started to hurt.

It’s all been a phony lie! A big, fat, whale-sized penis of a lie!

Every teacher needs one of these escape pods. But, all it takes is one flying pencil to make all the walls come tumbling down!

@jretribe:

“Congrats!! You now have a cubicle.”

@bathroomstalin:

“Having a cubicle is no cause for celebration.”

Wait until he see what he wrote on page 29. It will totally shock you!

@ThisLookInfectedToYa:

“Graduated magna cum clickbait.”

Don’t stereotype this kid as a geek just yet. He’s actually showing everyone else that it takes real cajones to rule the world!

@texasjoe:

“This guy is living the dream. I wish I was as proud of my “nerdy” hobbies when I was his age.”

Wait, is that Mama June? Where’s Honey Boo Boo? There should be a law against scaring kids at school like that!

Clever trick! You know every kid was thumbing the calculator app on their phone to do the math.

I bet a tree hugger from the opposing team was behind this cheeky move. But, the pitcher could probably use some shade on those hot and sunny days!

Hey, whatever helps them get the sudden urge to learn math! They have to do all the work before they can get the cheeky answer.

“Math that could get me (high school teacher) fired…”

All you have to do is grab a big handful and bunch it up in your hands to get 10-ply sheets. Problem solved!

@draven501:

“Toilet paper: some assembly required.”

Sounds like he was just trying to “spruce” up the tree and add some Christmas cheer. Well played joke, little man!

@nevadadrifter:

“Looks like someone is branching out into comedy!”

Wow, getting Rick-rolled has gone old school! When the apocalypse comes, I guess cockroaches and Rick Astley are the only two things that will survive the doom.

He pulled it off because no one cares about Jar Jar Binks! Plus, he lives in Portland, where it’s totally normal.

Sounds like you’ll have a blast! Careful though, they may have hidden a clown in all those balloons to double the amount of PTSD you’re probably feeling.

Not only did this student label the axes, but he drew some glorious examples of them too! And just so you know, the plural of axis is spelled axes, so he’s not wrong on that count either.

@Harangatang:

“A true math teacher could never love someone who writes in pen.”

As usual, when boys are bored, they can’t think of anything better to do than play with their tools. At this this guy is being slightly more productive about how he does it.

@luxii4:

“Best valentine card ever!”

The market is saturated with grads who can’t find jobs. Take comfort in knowing that you’re going to be just another one of those depressed losers.

@EmilioEstavez:

“There’s always a nearby Subway looking for entry level sandwich artisans.”

Better keep an eye on this “punny” little firecracker. He’s going to light up the world with that cheeky sense of humor!

@eagle4123:

“I chuckled a bit, I’m a firefighter. My chief will like this, the rest of the station is tired of the jokes chief and I tell.”

Um, I’m not sure you should be touching stray socks in a college dorm. They’ve been to places and done things that you really don’t want to know about.

@jesusapproves:

“It’s a black sock. It’s relatively safe. Now a crunchy white sock. Not going within a quarter mile.”

Wow, he goes into such boring detail! It’s so nice of him to outline all the cons of the class in case he needs to remember that: (a) he’s bored, and (b) half the class is asleep.

@Lazarous86:

“He probably plans on being terribly honest on the staff review.”

So, my man Jaron here has pretty much proven what we’ve secretly known all along. A diploma is nothing more than a piece of paper with your name on it!

“If you have a piece of paper with your name, they say your name. No questions asked.”

Getting space herpes is no joke. It’ll give you one helluva bumpy rash!

@rearviewmirror:

“So no offense, but I don’t want you as my doctor. But I want everybody else to go to you and be told they have space herpes. It would be hilarious.”

Even as a 12-year-old, she knew she was going to troll her future self. Congratulations for playing…you!

“I’m the sort of dumbass who would legitimately ask small talk questions (“How are you?” “What are you up to now?”) as if I was expecting my future self to write back.”

Why does everyone always overdress on the first day of school? Boxers are just too formal for online classes.

@dobotron:

“What a badass, while the rest of us have nightmares of being in underwear in class, this guy lives it day to day.”