Everyone has stuck their foot in their mouth as the saying goes. It happens. Whether you thought you could relax around someone or accidentally phrased something in the weirdest way possible, we’ve all had those moments where we wished we could take words back.
It’s even more awkward when you’re the recipient of the awkward information. Well, maybe not MORE awkward, but it’s still uncomfortable. You have to figure out how to react in a polite way that hides your shock. At least, that’s the reaction that most of us have! We aren’t comfortable telling someone to walk back the weirdness and find a more appropriate topic.
Maybe it’s because we know what it’s like to say something that’s catastrophically awkward. Of course, some people just don’t care. They might not realize that some topics aren’t appropriate for every conversation. Or perhaps they don’t realize how uncomfortable they’re making the people around them.
Then there are people like your dad or your grandma who no longer have a filter and don’t care that they’re embarrassing you. In those cases, hope they don’t share too much info and then try to forget the awkwardness you’ve heard!
1. Well, that’s certainly one solution
Long lines in public places are frustrating, especially in women’s rooms. If you’re wondering, the runtime of Hamilton is two hours and 45 minutes. Surely, we can all hold our bladders for that long.
2. It’s going to be really awkward at pickup time.
Kids often reveal intimate details about their parents or their home life without exactly meaning to. This little girl clearly learned this somewhere. The best thing to do is pretend you didn’t hear.
3. Didn’t need to know, Grandma.
If you’ve ever bought something at Macy’s and thought it smelled kind of funny, just know it might have been farted on by an elderly lady. Does she have to do it IN the clothes?
This is one of those sentences that makes you do a mental double-take. At first mention, it all sounds okay. But when you give it a little more thought, you realize it’s all sorts of wrong.
5. That sounds traumatic.
This is one of those pieces of specialized knowledge that you never really wanted to know. To realize that someone actually experienced it is just terrible.
6. I hope they proved her wrong.
It’s pretty rude to speculate about someone’s marriage, especially to someone who works at a store. It’s plain bizarre to buy a cheap card because you don’t think they’ll last.
7. Maybe he just said he wanted a tip.
I can’t for the life of me imagine how this topic came up. That poor waiter was probably mortified by the weird lady who asked intrusive questions. Or maybe they’re now living happily ever after.
8. It’s impolite to talk about money.
If you didn’t catch it, that was a joke — obviously, the rudeness here is the boss who wants to overshare about intimate purchases. That’s not something you should talk about at work, ever.
There are actual medications that can have this spectacularly unfortunate side effect. Maybe the guy was trying to avoid an HR report or a lawsuit.
This guy went several steps over the oversharing line. A simple “Thanks for the help” would have sufficed. If you absolutely had to, you could say you have health problems that make you unable to help.
11. When Mom’s having more fun than you.
This might be oversharing, but it’s also cute…in a dorky mom way. At least Mom is having a fun night, right?
12. You didn’t have to share.
I really hope she was talking about actual nuts and simply didn’t realize how awkward her phrasing was. But there’s always the possibility that Grandma has a wicked sense of humor.
13. Nope, you made it weird.
Sometimes life gets in the way and you skip a shower for a few days. If you’re dropping food into your cleavage, you might want to consider showering a bit more frequently.
Erectile dysfunction is an unfortunate part of aging. It’s also a side effect of some commonly-prescribed medications. It’s nothing to be ashamed of…but also nothing to describe in detail to your grandkids.
15. That’s an honest answer.
Generally, when someone asks how you’re doing, they mean how are you doing in a general life way. However, I suppose the state of your bowels is a correct answer.
16. I’m just trying to buy some bread.
Hemorrhoids are an incredibly painful but also common malady. However, they involve rectums and poop, so maybe don’t share that information with strangers buying food.
You know who doesn’t need to know about whatever sexual photos you’re taking? Your coworkers who are just trying to have a pleasant day at the office.
18. This is a work environment.
Most of us have probably been in this situation, especially during serious stomach illness (looking at you, norovirus). But this guy could have come up with some kind of polite excuse.
19. Not sure if I’d want to keep eating.
You know who doesn’t want to hear about your boobs, especially if you refer to them this way? The people whose food you just carried over, presumably at chest level.
20. Nope, don’t want to talk about that…
Bonding with a son- or daughter-in-law can be difficult. But let me give you a hint: this is not the way to do it. No one wants to talk about their spouse’s genitals with that spouse’s mom.
21. Thanks for trying, kiddo.
This sweet kid probably thought he was sharing an interesting fact and getting his mom a little sympathy. After all, tailbone injuries really hurt!
22. What’s your name again?
Okay, I get it, it’s kind of a funny situation. But that’s a story to share with some VERY close friends, not with a co-worker who you’ve literally just met.
23. That’s not what I meant when I asked if you have any hobbies.
Was my mother the only one to teach me about certain subjects being inappropriate for polite conversation? You shouldn’t be talking about your sex life in the workplace!
24. Well, now I hate my birthday.
Some parents think it’s funny to freak out their kids with details surrounding their conception. But this is just a little too much detail. Thanks, Dad, but I really didn’t need to know.
25. An interesting pickup line.
This is actually kind of a sweet story, but it’s definitely one to keep between the two people who experienced it. No one wants to imagine their grandparents doing this!
26. She took it a step too far.
Hey, you know how you could have made that conversation not weird? Just say “Those strawberries look delicious!” No need to add in any details about poop. It’s easy!
27. It happens to the best of us.
It gets harder to control your bladder as you age, especially if you have certain health problems. This is actually kind of cute, but it definitely still falls under the category of oversharing.
There’s technically nothing wrong with either of those things, but dang if kids aren’t good at giving the most awkward descriptions of their parents. They make it sound as though those qualities are their most dominant personality traits!
29. There are solutions to this problem.
Realizing there’s no toilet paper in a public bathroom after you’ve already done your business is one of our worst nightmares. You know what you could do to solve it? Almost anything but this.
Some biology teachers have a policy about their class being a safe space to ask any questions you want. They might not be prepared for a question as bizarre as this.
31. We get the picture, thanks.
There’s a scientific reason why coffee makes a lot of people poop, but it’s a pretty common occurrence. It’s common enough that none of us need a colorful description.
32. Someone needs to set Karen straight.
There are a lot of reasons you might develop a UTI, but if you’re causing it yourself, you’re probably putting something there that, well, shouldn’t be there. We can only imagine what Karen was doing.
33. I’m sorry to hear about…all of that.
Running into old acquaintances can be tough for people who don’t like small talk, so let me offer some pointers: talk about your job, your family, and your home. Don’t talk about any of the things covered in this tweet.
This poor girl was so humiliated by her inadvertent overshare that she actually left the school. That’s so sad in itself, but I understand her embarrassment — she never thought about the implications of her question.
35. “Your total is $11.23.”
People who are going through tough times and don’t have a big support system often turn to strangers for comfort. But this guy was so happy about his divorce that he couldn’t resist sharing the good news.
Some professors like to establish themselves as quirky or odd, making it hard for their students to always get their jokes. I really hope this was one of those situations.
37. Homeroom got awkward after that.
Who can ever explain what makes teens so preoccupied with drawing phallic imagery all over school property? This teacher couldn’t, but she had an interesting way of addressing it.
38. …there are easier ways.
I’m honestly confused about whether this aunt thought this was the easiest method or if she just wanted to chew dog food. Has she never heard of wet food or a food processor?
A couple of things to comment on here. Firstly, this isn’t an appropriate topic for work conversation. Secondly, that is a terrible length to trim your body hair. The guy must feel like a hedgehog.
40. You have explaining to do.
I hesitate to ask what on earth this poor girl was drinking that reminded her of that taste. But ultimately, it doesn’t really matter in light of her friend’s surprising declaration.
41. It’s always good to plan.
On one hand, I guess we should admire Grandma for her willingness to plan ahead for her own death. On the other hand, maybe she’s thinking about it just a little bit too much.
42. That was the last time Aunt Karen was invited.
This is an awkward situation, and that must have been one powerful wave! But as silly as it is, you probably shouldn’t yell it out to everyone and you definitely shouldn’t show them!
43. Thanks, that doesn’t make me feel better at all.
When you step into an Uber, you’re literally putting your life into the hands of a total stranger. There are a few things you really don’t want to hear them say and I’m adding this one to the list.
44. I’m not laughing, Mom.
Trying to have some romantic time with your spouse can get quickly awkward if there are animals around. Next time, put the dog in another room and maybe don’t share any details with your kid.
45. No need to elaborate.
Can you imagine how uncomfortable that poor kid must have been on getting the text from his godmother? With any luck, he realized it was a typo and she was only messing with her.
46. Anyway, can we talk about the university?
I’m honestly curious about how this came up during college orientation. Maybe they were all going around in a circle, sharing fun facts about themselves.
Man, this is so weird I don’t even know how to begin to unpack it all. I really hope the poor guy ran away from that date and blocked her number.
Ah, Grandmas, the never ending well of inappropriate humor that makes everyone uncomfortable. But they don’t care — they’re old and losing their filter, so who do they need to impress?
49. And now you’re definitely not.
Friendships can be like relationships in that they have hurdles to cross. How long were these women actual friends before they decided to moon one another?
I hate to say it, but this poster’s brother might want to get his prostate checked. Barring medical issues like difficulty peeing, it was definitely an awkward thing to share.
51. She moved the next day.
Okay, no she didn’t, but she probably wanted to. Can you imagine just how weird that must have been for everyone involved? I might seriously consider moving, honestly.
52. No need for a demonstration.
Wow, what an odd quirk to have. But seriously, I trust it when you say it happens to you. I don’t need to see it all in action.
Basic hygiene is nice and sure, spouses should be considerate of one another and bathe regularly. But this is so weird in more ways than one.
54. That’s the worst possible solution.
The realization that some people do this makes me never want to go out in public again. Why on earth was that your solution? It was not the best one!
55. A simple “I’m not feeling well” would suffice.
I’m perturbed at the number of adults out there who insist on sharing details about their poop with others. Seriously, that information should be shared exclusively with your doctor and only on a need-to-know basis.
56. What’s wrong with you?
Look, let’s be honest — these stories are only cute or funny when they happen to you. And some, like this one, aren’t really cute at all. It’s just super weird.
Considering this woman works at a bankruptcy law firm, I can only assume the client was citing the surgery as one reason he went bankrupt. I hope she was able to keep a straight face.
58. Um…sure, I can make some suggestions.
Sometimes oversharing is just so awkward because you have to think of a polite response that hides your shock or discomfort. I can only imagine what this person came up with.
Nope, you know what? I don’t want to know. I want to forget that I ever heard this information or that anyone saw fit to use it as a self-description.
60. Again, all you had to say was “He’s not feeling well”
What is it with everyone wanting to overshare about their poop problems? You can even say “My stomach is upset” and people will get what you’re talking about. There’s no need for this level of detail.
I guess there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with this, but it’s a pretty icky thing to share. No one really wants to think about food lingering in your mouth.
62. How to ruin Disney forever.
I sincerely hope this mom means that her child was conceived in a hotel at Disneyland. The alternative is that she was conceived somewhere on the park grounds, which is too disturbing to think about.
If this tweet had a soundtrack, it would be wordless screaming on loop. Why, oh why, would you ever share this with your child? She’ll never be able to look at her father again.
64. It’s an important anniversary.
Aside from the fact this is a weird and awkward tidbit of news to share with your daughter, you actually sent an email! I can only imagine what excuses the daughter gave!
This woman’s joking text to her husband turned out to be…not for her husband at all. Hopefully, her mom was able to chuckle over it without embarrassing her too much.
Everyone has stuck their foot in their mouth as the saying goes. It happens. Whether you thought you could relax around someone or accidentally phrased something in the weirdest way possible, we’ve all had those moments where we wished we could take words back.
It’s even more awkward when you’re the recipient of the awkward information. Well, maybe not MORE awkward, but it’s still uncomfortable. You have to figure out how to react in a polite way that hides your shock. At least, that’s the reaction that most of us have! We aren’t comfortable telling someone to walk back the weirdness and find a more appropriate topic.
Maybe it’s because we know what it’s like to say something that’s catastrophically awkward. Of course, some people just don’t care. They might not realize that some topics aren’t appropriate for every conversation. Or perhaps they don’t realize how uncomfortable they’re making the people around them.
Then there are people like your dad or your grandma who no longer have a filter and don’t care that they’re embarrassing you. In those cases, hope they don’t share too much info and then try to forget the awkwardness you’ve heard!
