As a parent, feeding your kids is can be one of the biggest payoffs, or one of the biggest struggles, depending on what side of the spectrum you’re on. Ideally, we want to make sure our children grow up with the vitamins and nutrients necessary to grow up healthy and strong.
The kids have a plan of their own it seems. Next up we have 65 parents who share their dreadfully comical stories about their kids’ eating habits. Some will make you laugh. Some will make you barf. Ultimately, all of it should result in the same common question: what are these children even thinking?
1) Explosive Gas
Just when you thought you could eat in peace. Things like this happen often when you have a constipated kid sitting around doing nothing. Next thing you know the child will be trying to hold his burps with his elbows.
2) Funion Onion
Shoes are a common missing item from a kid’s closet. Constantly being tossed into some random corner of the room, your kids will hardly ever care for their shoes. Now food on the other hand, that’s one thing they can sniff from a mile away if the prize is catchy enough!
3) Spicing Things Up
Kids tend to want to trick us sometimes. It’s part of growing up and trying to figure things out. This one wanted to get out of a pickle by slandering her gummy vitamins’s flavor. If only they knew that we once were kids too!
4) Snack Attack
Snacking is one of the most powerful tools to divert a child’s attention. Enough to the point that they will be attracted to you like magnets. You’ll be sorry the next time you think you have a moment of peace.
5) Oogie Booger
Your child’s nostrils are like caves with mines of boogers just waiting to be picked out. Their grubby little hands will latch on to anything that can fit into their mouths. And then they get picky about their food which makes no sense at all!
6) Snack-A-Thon
The road to a snack is long and perilous. For some kids, it takes a whole dinner’s worth of food just to get over the hump and get one. It’s like they get served an open jar of cookies, but they prefer to go for that one bag of potato chips.
7) Piece by Piece
Sharing is a foreign concept to most kids. No matter how much it’s practiced, it all means nothing when it comes to food. Don’t gamble on that piece of bread coming back in once piece if you know what’s good for you!
8)Meal Planning
Keeping it simple is the way to go at times. Especially when it comes to a kids choice of foods. This parent knows the cheat code to give good nutrition while also keeping his child happy at the same time.
9) And Extra Syrup Please
This child just didn’t know when to quit. The waffle was just filler for the real main course apparently. There’s no stopping a child once that tummy gets turning!
10) Stick To The Basics
Your basic fast food is enough to satisfy almost every kid. French fries, chicken nuggets, and pizzas are all pretty much a child’s idea of having the time of their life. Just don’t overdo it on the sugar and calories since you don’t want to cause any major health problems in the future.
11) Sir-Mix-A-Lot
Variety is the spice of life. In this case, having candy corn on top of your pizza is an exquisite example of mixing it up. As for the end result of the digestion, we wish you luck on the other side.
12) Deal or No Deal
It almost feels that way when you’re a parent feeding a child. Best to bring your A-game and a smile to convince your kid what’s good for them. It’s all about positive reinforcement, and of course, a bit of luck on the taste bud side to get them to bite on your offer.
13) Picking Up The Scraps
The leftovers are a parent’s equivalent of a dessert. Inevitably, your child will leave food behind in their quest to master eating etiquette. It’s all to teach a very important lesson: never waste food.
14) The Way to a Child’s Heart
Anything sweet is basically the perfect bait to get any child to salivate. They constantly crave sugar and won’t stop at any cost to have some. They’ll love anything candy, cake, and cupcake related. Watch out where you stash these items!
15) Taste Bud Turvy
Talk about changing it up. Kids grow up way too quickly for their own good! Just when you think you have their diet figured out, they get enchanted by the time spell caster and grow right out of it.
16) Mini-Mes
Nothing comes easy being a parent. Especially cooking the right meal for the right child. It’s all about patience and maintaining composure. Their appetitve will start to turn for the better…eventually.
17) Waste Management
As a parent, you’ll get the chance to experience phenomenal moments with your child. This includes managing their wasteful food habits early on. A moment is never dull when you have a toddler challenging you at every spoon airplane going his way.
18) Eat Your Veggies
For whatever reason, a lot of kids don’t do well with vegetables. It may be their lack of sugar or exciting taste that turns the little critters off. Whatever the case, a parent must do what they can to make sure their child gets their full nutrition. Even if that means tweaking history to their advantage.
19) Don’t Feed The Birds
Unless you’re a parent and now you feel more like a bird than ever before. This parent seems to be going through the leftover trials with his kid.
20) Cereal Killer
Time is of the essence when making dinner. It’s imperative it’s done on time, or else you’ll suffer the consequences. And oh boy, you don’t want to realize your cereal is gone before it’s too late.
21) Tick-Tock Toddler
Little adults are the most opinionated species on this planet. They don’t care whose feelings they hurt as long as they express themselves to get their way. When your food gets compared to feces and urine, then of course, it can get a bit discouraging.
22) Changing The Subject
Short-term “memory loss” seems to be a common side-effect for some kids. How convenient that it usually turns up once we catch them trying to skiddaddle out of a situation they don’t want to be in. Better luck next time, kiddo.
23) Midnight Chocolate
Hard times call for hard measures. Even if that means taking your child’s chocolate from him in the secrecy of night. Don’t worry, we dont blame parents for trying to sneak in a guilty pleasure when they can. For the love of all that is good, whatever you do, don’t tell your kid the chocolate is gone!
24) Sweet Sweet Joy
This is every adult’s dream. Maybe one day we’ll grow up to be like kids instead of the other way around. But until then, they’re going to get fed what we choose for them.
25) Broccoli Are Our Friends
At least this parent tried putting some roasted flavor on the broccoli. Regardless, it looks like the child wasn’t having any of it. Apparently she’s had hair before and knows exactly when she tastes one.
26) Pay Your Dues
We may feel like we don’t owe anything to our kids at times, but just remember why you’re a parent in the first place. They’ve got the right to claim something when it’s because of them that you were made into a parent. It’s both a blessing and a curse really.
27) Chicken Children
Tired of getting up early to feed your child? It’s time to improve on your tactics and try less. Chicken feed style is the way to go for the sake of time efficiency. It’s the new fad in feeding children, so don’t be ashamed to sprinkle cereal everywhere to your heart’s content. They’ll eventually gobble it all up at some point just you wait.
28) Cleanup on Aisle 5
Puddles will be made. Puddles will be cleaned. Liquid spills are one of a child’s favorite past times and you’re going to be partaking in a lot of extra curricular activity with them.
29) O-O-Spaghetti-O
Your concept of spatial orientation will flip upside down after having children. Think you know where to hide things? Think again. They’ll even put spaghetti in your heating ducts when you’re not looking.
30) Impulse Control
Waiting patiently: something most kids just can’t seem to do. It takes years of learning and understanding the rewards that lie on the other side. Until then, get ready for the onslaught of random hunger attacks that may or may not exist.
31) Food For Thought
Food is for communion. It gets everyone together calmly and allows one to share ideas and quell disagreements. It even works for these 5-year-olds who through a temper tantrum and made up for it over a piece of cheese.
32) Cruel and Unusual Punishment
Well, that’s one way of rebelling. Being wasteful is just an afterthought when you’re young and blissfully ignorant to the world. It’s okay, they’ll get through this phase just like the parents will get through this tough time of guessing their kids desired meal.
33) Apple Of My Eye
Now riddle me this! It’s a mystery as to why kids avoid good foods to support good health. Veggie Tales might have to emphasis the importance of eating your fruits and vegetables, or what even are they teaching them?
34) Money Is Time
Save yourself from all the hassle of making your kids food. It’s just a big waste of assets in the end and will leave you dissatisfied for even trying. Take this advice and get them a sock every two weeks or so as to prevent boredom and anything else from being needlessly spent.
35) If It’s Not Broke, Fix It Anyways
Your kids will keep you guessing every step of the way. Nothing is quite as exciting as well as frustrating all in a time span of 30 minutes. You might even kick yourself when you realize your solutions turn out to be a new set of problems!
36) Grubby Grabber
Whether it moves or it doesn’t, children somehow manage a way to get their hands on it. It really is out of the question. They’ll latch their hands on the item before you can even blink twice and look at you with an innocent smile expecting praise.
37) Savor the Crunch
A snack is a child’s best friend. They’ll munch as slow as it takes to fulfill their sweettooth craving even if it takes them forever. This kid was savoring the moment with each bit of her favorite cereal like it was a 5-star dessert!
38) Growing Up So Fast
Choose your words wisely. When talking to a smart mouth, it always pays off to be one step ahead. This dad suffered the consequences and now has to waddle in his own poor decision-making.
39) Shape Up
The devil is in the details. She hits it on the money with the hellish comparison, and not to mention what comes after the screams and cries. Be sure you take a child’s request to heart and execute them to perfection, or you will suffer their wrath.
40) Bless This Mess
Some children just want to see the world burn. This little one must have had a rough day to do something that bad to the house. Let’s all play nice with our kids and show them food goes inside their mouths, not inside the house.
41) A Worthy Sacrifice
Don’t worry about them rejecting food. Worry about your kids devesating your estate with it. Keep all the best food items as high on the shelves as physically possible.
42) Take It How It Comes
What goes on behind the scenes will never be revealed on camera. The struggle is real when the lenses aren’t focusing and this mom puts it all into perspective. Next time you think that family has it figured out with their kids, think again!
43) Riddle Me Pringle
There’s no such thing as breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It’s snack time every time and you can’t convince a kid otherwise. If it’s too quiet and your child is smiling deviously, then you can expect that a can of chips has definitely bit the dust recently.
44) Out Of The Closet
Mom’s go through it all as the providers, nurturers, educators, cleaners, feeders, and basically all of the above for their kids. All a girl really wants is some personal time to eat their fill and watch their favorite show. At least that’s all this mom wants to do at this current moment. Don’t feel bad though since it all goes with the territory.
45) Problematic Arithmetic
Math can be confusing and hilarious at the same time. Just how did we arrive at such conclusions? You can’t blame the kid for being on point with his sense of logic on this one.
46) Marinated What Now?
Let’s just pretend we never read that. On the other hand, this parent isn’t wrong either. Once dinner time rolls through, you can be sure your kids will eat whatever they see in front of them.
47) How Much Is Too Much
Kids are always curious. They study you when you least expect it and notice all your little habits. This bright 4-year-old seemed to realize his parent was just as hungry as they were. The apple never falls too far from the tree.
48) Home Grown Organic
You can smear peanut butter on the toilet seat and your child will still lick it. Okay, that was a bit too much imagery, but you catch our drift. They can market the best snacks all they want, but it’s without a doubt the floor that wins the day in terms of home-grown organic products.
49) Hostile Tactics
This is worrisome to say the least. We hope this is a joke, but many parents out there would probably relate to similar situations. Don’t play around with a kid unless you’re willing to go the extra mile.
50) Cheese And Ketchup Save The Day
Two essential ingredients you’ll want at all times. It’s great for getting your kids to do anything you want. Think they hate their food? Sprinkle some ketchup and cheese and voila! Problem solved.
51) Feed The Machine
Toddlers just can’t quite get enough food sometimes. They’ll wake you up in the dead of the night and beg for food as compensation for their good deeds. Gummi bears are target number one on their list, so have a few ready to spare at any given moment.
52) Slurp And Burp
Children often get compared to animals, but this one is a first. The comparison may be accurate considering children really do tend to slurp their spaghetti like mini majestic ponys. Be happy that they are least eating now instead of the converse.
53) Playing Dressup
That’s half the battles in the morning. Wearing clothes that either doesn’t fit well, have the wrong colors, or don’t go with their moods are often the complaint of children who have wardrobe panic attacks. Maybe we should go back to wearing costumes and pretending we’re in constant fairyland just to satisfy them.
54) Taxation With Representation
Teaching math with food items is a great way to start out with your kids. It shows them the value of of putting value in objects and how to get the best return out of them. It also accurately communicates how we adults feel about having our paychecks get taxed and gives them an idea of what is to come.
55) Momma Knows Best
This one is dead accurate. Let it be Mom who comes in to save the day whenever a child is hungry. No matter how close anyone else is, nobody has the rights to a child’s mouth like Moms do.
56) Now Downloading
It’s like having an old version of your current computer. Those days may have seemed extinct, but your kid reminded you that was not the case. You’ll be encountering many download times that stall your day more often than you can imagine.
57) Alterior Motives
Your kid might trick you into thinking their tummies are full. And they might pull it off. However, just remember their is a method to every kid’s madness.
58) And Now For My Next Act
Kids are well trained in the art of magic. They can magically have many things disappear including themselves. This son has the power to assemble a concrete block of bread crumbs with his bare hands!
59) Half-And-Half
Even for a parent, this was an incredible feat by any measure. Bravo to your idea of an idea lesson, but let’s be straight here: just give the other child another M&M. They’re going to one to go after it anyway, so might as well pay your dues before you suffer the consequences later.
60) Who Done Did It?
Usually whoever smelt it, dealt it. No farts here though. It’s all about visual cues and the culprit always reveals themself in some way. Especially when the matter at hand involves Oreo filling on the couch.
61) Cookie Obsession
It’s one thing to have your kids not listening, but then to turn around and use you like a stepping ladder for their cookies? That’s a whole new can of worms that we refuse to open. It’s all in the name of getting cookies, so it’s okay if it happens from time to time. Just don’t go around spoiling if you know what’s good for you.
62) Sweet Marsh Potatoes
A new recipe might be in the works here. This boy’s stroke of genius might just be years of trying out a combination of different foods we can’t even comprehend. Keep talking boy, we want to hear more!
63) Troublesome Two
The more the merrior, right? Well, think twice about having a kid twice. This parent is probably thinking the same thing right about now.
64) Laughing Out Loud
It’s a horribly terrible joke. Having to think your son is going to feed himself only to have your aspirations come crashing down. Only this time, you’ve grown so numb to the experience that now you just proceed to laugh it off. When it comes to your child, it’s best to laugh on the outside and keep the cry on the inside.
65) The Peanut Gallery
Peanuts are a favorite amongst many toddlers. Their salty nature can be enticing for their tongues to grab ahold of. It’s no surprise to find this little bundle of joy completely ignoring her stuffed best friends for some quality sleep time with her favorite jar of peanuts.
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