When a company puts up a sign to let the world know that they’re in business, they’re usually hoping to gain some customers. What they don’t know is that neon signs aren’t exactly a good investment.
Sure, they’re loud and bright and get lots of attention when it’s dark out. But, neon signs also have an unfortunate way of getting the wrong message across when one of the light bulbs go out.
Words never hurt anyone…except when they accidentally become a part of these 65 questionable neon sign fails!
1) Well okay, but only because you said so!
Do you remember Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” campaign in the 80’s? Looks like the pendulum has swung the other way and the war on drugs is finally over!
This sign certainly hints at the beginning of something wonderful…and very colorful! It speaks of a bygone era when LSD was still legal and Mervyn’s was still a thing.
First, the sign says “do drugs.” The next one hints that LSD is the way to go. And then there’s this sign stating the obvious. So, what’s next?
Get ready for it…
Don’t do everything a broken neon sign tells you to do. But, saying something like this to an annoying customer’s face is every retail worker’s dream!
5) “Time to take care of my neighborhood grocer once and for all”
Jeez, what do your poor grocer ever do to you? I don’t think Mr. Rogers would take very kindly to this un-neighborly attitude.
6) Let’s Go to hell. I mean Shell!
This is where you end up if you take drugs and harm your neighborhood grocer. What else did you expect?
7) “Lol, found out where Ur mom works”
“Your mama” jokes aside… If you’re getting the munchies, I think you can get a two-for-one deal here. It’s easy to get fat on their chips and candy!
8) Honey, let’s go to this new hotel I saw on Yelp.
The word on the street is that this sign has been burned out for years with no MILF’s in sight. This plaza is a total dud for budding MILF hunters.
Starbucks is such a huge brand name that it doesn’t really need to promote itself. But, when it does, it makes you want to hit up the mom and pop coffee shop around the corner.
This sign may have lost a few bulbs, but somehow it managed to course correct and get the spelling right the second time around, too! I guess it knows exactly what it’s supposed to be.
Isn’t this everyone’s goal after work gets out on Friday? Well, maybe not the last part. That doesn’t leave much room for manic Monday’s.
12)Really crappy marketing
I think this is one of the reasons why brick and mortar bookstores went out of business. Can’t blame Amazon for this one!
13) If you need a stiff drink…
Is this the new chicken hatchery? I’m asking for a friend.
@Deestan:
“Not gay, just manly. There are 40 types of beer and 20 types of whisky in the bar; no white wine. There is no dance floor. You never get overlooked by the bartender because some big-breasted brat happens to stand nearby.”
14) Life’s a party when you end up at this funeral home.
Who says life is over when you’re buried six feet under? The party is only getting started when people get to dance on your grave!
15) You can’t spell “Amusement” without this….
Well, I suppose this is probably amusing to some people. Like 14-year-old boys and old sailors who can’t stop telling the same stupid dirty jokes over and over again.
When this PetCo sign started to burn out, it left a hilarious impression behind. It’s all lies and fish the moment you step foot into the store!
This loudmouth sign is just reminding you where you’re supposed to put the food. Hopefully it’s still a $12.99 all-you-can-eat buffet!
18) Finally! A store for cat ladies.
The secret is finally out! This is where they churn out all the cute kitties for those funny cat memes.
19) Homeless elves need this.
Especially right after Christmas, when elf storage becomes a real problem. All those used up Elves on the Shelf need someplace warm to bunker down until the next holiday season rolls around.
This is even funnier with Homer Simpson’s face staring right back at you from the window! RIP Blockbuster Video.
This is how it all starts! Next thing you know, they’ll be barefoot and pregnant. It’s the cycle of life.
22) Sign outside Kim Kardashian’s new home
It’s supposed to say “First American Title.” But, the sign had a couple of funny things it wanted to say.
23) The sign at this hoe-tel
I’d expect nothing less of a seedy side-street establishment like this. I bet even the bed bugs love to stick around.
Okay, but only if I can rent one that looks like a famous celebrity butt. None of those run-of-the-mill flat ones for me!
25) A place for ex-friends, bosses, and in-laws
Round them up and send them here! Looks like they’d fit right in. The sign even says so.
Wow, the liquor laws have become really lax. Either that, or “liquor” is just a code name for milk.
This is what happens when “bro food” runs out of juice. People start to get really desperate!
I was kind of looking forward to just getting my windows tinted without having Johnny’s man boobs all up in my face. Besides, I don’t have any dollar bills on me.
This Goodyear sign fail turned into a cheeky win for pro wrestler Randy Savage. The former WWF Heavyweight Champion was known for his signature catch phrase “ooh yeah!” RIP Macho Man!
30) “I’m not as hungry as I thought.”
Sometimes truth in advertising isn’t a good thing. They should have gone with something more palatable, like “mediocre.”
31) Hey, that doesn’t spell Thwaites Brewery!
After the company announced job cuts, the letters H, I and E mysteriously disappeared. Looks like a just-let-go employee was quick to make it known what he really thought!
32) The best Jew in the city!
Hot on the success of the World’s Greatest Dad and the Next Top Model comes Top Jew! They make the best looking jewelry in the city.
33) Mad Max Part 5: Road Anger
Are you always running out of road rage when you really need it the most? No worries, Road Anger has got you covered!
Take a breather and
34) Yo ho, it’s sexy dinner time!
And apparently, the only thing they’re serving is chicken. But I hear there’s a secret menu for little peckers.
Nothing is free. You still have to fork over money to buy Happy Meals while the kiddos amuse themselves.
36) “Some lights on the sign at the local bowling alley burned out…”
Now I know why everyone loves bowling so much. “Let’s go for some bong, I mean bowling!”
@ThePen_isMightier:
“Another mildly interesting fact: I recently went to India, was walking through a village outside of Haridwar and asked someone what they call marijuana in Hindi (it grows wild all over there), he told me “bong”. Not sure if the spelling is the same.”
37) I think they got it backwards.
It’s a one-way only street. Poo doesn’t ever enter. It only leaves.
Unless you’re offering to let me dip a hot fudge sundae cone into a pile of peanuts, nut dip just sounds too healthy. I could really go for a donut, though!
Wait, you mean there’s a 24/7 nap fitness place? Yes! I’m falling asleep already!
40) “If we’re posting amusingly burnt-out signs…”
The original sign is just as amusing! Oh, to be the poor boy who had to suffer his entire life with a last name like Badcock.
You know, they have penicillin for that. Then you’d have to change the sign to Happy Dick’s.
The king of failed neon signs! It’s almost as good as Pho King, the Vietnamese noodle soup version of this sign.
43) “Some of the lights at my local bar burned out.”
They should probably add a couple of more X’s to that Bar-X sign of theirs. You know, just to make it three times more legit.
44) Mexican Man Restaurant
Well, that’s a very specific niche they chose. Or, are they trying to save they serve up spicy human meat?
Well, if you insist. But the last time a professional teabagger did that in public, they got arrested for it.
46) “Feminist take over at the Sheraton commander hotel last night.”
Yeah, come to think of it, she has been kind of bossy lately. I guess this is an upgrade from stone tablets to get the message across.
47) “The light burned out in this sign made it quite contemplative.”
Are feet shoes? If shoes don’t exist, do you exist? Ah, these existential questions are just too much!
48) Target is getting so chill
Go on, admit it. You nodded your head towards the Target sign when you saw it asking you wassup.
Hope you brought some good reading material. It’ll be a while before you get out of there.
Poor Waid’s Restaurant probably didn’t stay in business very long after this sign failed. The thought just isn’t very appetizing.
51) So how does this work exactly?
Well, I already have two. But, I’d like to upgrade to a new 36DD Sofia Vergara model please.
52) “Bra hamburgers! As seen in Claremore tonight!”
Looks like this is the next big thing for lingerie boutique foodies! I was wondering why my boyfriend kept drooling over my bra drawer.
53) New dictionary word of the day
What I didn’t learn on Sesame Street I learned from streets signs like this. I dare you to use this into a sentence today!
Well, I did, but it was a little bit too dry and stony for my taste. Do you have one that’s a little bit less crunchy?
It’s a home improvement store by day, and a place to pick up your future ex-girlfriend at night. No wonder guys love to hang out there so much!
56) It used to be a Hooters sign
Great! Now you can get your ho to go. But, the $5 all-day rate is only for the ones named Margarita.
57) Be careful what you say around Jack Daniels.
He’s been a little bit emo lately. You might hurt his feelings, so please handle with care!
Caution, wet conditions ahead! And whatever you do, don’t follow the yellow brick road.
You don’t have to be a rich prepper to shop here. Looks like they accept EBT cards!
60) When it’s time to Pan-nic!
Imagine seeing this sign pop up in the middle of the night on a very lonely and desolate road. That’s when the horror movie music starts running through your brain and you convince yourself that nothing but bad things is up ahead!
Here’s a store for the discerning con man who loves to travel. Why not stay organized when you’re on the go?
Well, that’s pretty accurate! If you’re hurt, Elmhurst trauma center is the best place to be.
63) “You Never Knew How To Use A Pork Knuckle, Did You?”
Pork knuckles. It’s what’s for dinner at this Chinese house of tasty flying fists.
64) Nope, no sold out cruises here
There are always empty cabins on this cruise. That’s because they keep going to places where no one wants to go.
When John is too busy to talk shop, Larry Flynt has got you covered. Looks like he’s got quite the side Hustler going on!
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When a company puts up a sign to let the world know that they’re in business, they’re usually hoping to gain some customers. What they don’t know is that neon signs aren’t exactly a good investment.
Sure, they’re loud and bright and get lots of attention when it’s dark out. But, neon signs also have an unfortunate way of getting the wrong message across when one of the light bulbs go out.
Words never hurt anyone…except when they accidentally become a part of these 65 questionable neon sign fails!
