When a company puts up a sign to let the world know that theyโre in business, theyโre usually hoping to gain some customers. What they donโt know is that neon signs arenโt exactly a good investment.
Sure, theyโre loud and bright and get lots of attention when itโs dark out. But, neon signs also have an unfortunate way of getting the wrong message across when one of the light bulbs go out.
Words never hurt anyoneโฆexcept when they accidentally become a part of these 65 questionable neon sign fails!
1) Well okay, but only because you said so!
Do you remember Nancy Reaganโs โJust Say Noโ campaign in the 80โs? Looks like the pendulum has swung the other way and the war on drugs is finally over!
2) Good old LSD
This sign certainly hints at the beginning of something wonderfulโฆand very colorful! It speaks of a bygone era when LSD was still legal and Mervynโs was still a thing.
3) Yup, Iโm on it!
First, the sign says โdo drugs.โ The next one hints that LSD is the way to go. And then thereโs this sign stating the obvious. So, whatโs next?
Get ready for itโฆ
4) Youโre a moron.
Donโt do everything a broken neon sign tells you to do. But, saying something like this to an annoying customerโs face is every retail workerโs dream!
5) โTime to take care of my neighborhood grocer once and for allโ
Jeez, what do your poor grocer ever do to you? I donโt think Mr. Rogers would take very kindly to this un-neighborly attitude.
6) Letโs Go to hell. I mean Shell!
This is where you end up if you take drugs and harm your neighborhood grocer. What else did you expect?
7) โLol, found out where Ur mom worksโ
โYour mamaโ jokes asideโฆ If youโre getting the munchies, I think you can get a two-for-one deal here. Itโs easy to get fat on their chips and candy!
8) Honey, letโs go to this new hotel I saw on Yelp.
The word on the street is that this sign has been burned out for years with no MILFโs in sight. This plaza is a total dud for budding MILF hunters.
9)Sucks to be Starbucks
Starbucks is such a huge brand name that it doesnโt really need to promote itself. But, when it does, it makes you want to hit up the mom and pop coffee shop around the corner.
10) It fixed itself!
This sign may have lost a few bulbs, but somehow it managed to course correct and get the spelling right the second time around, too! I guess it knows exactly what itโs supposed to be.
11) TGIF
Isnโt this everyoneโs goal after work gets out on Friday? Well, maybe not the last part. That doesnโt leave much room for manic Mondayโs.
12)Really crappy marketing
I think this is one of the reasons why brick and mortar bookstores went out of business. Canโt blame Amazon for this one!
13) If you need a stiff drinkโฆ
Is this the new chicken hatchery? Iโm asking for a friend.
@Deestan:
โNot gay, just manly. There are 40 types of beer and 20 types of whisky in the bar; no white wine. There is no dance floor. You never get overlooked by the bartender because some big-breasted brat happens to stand nearby.โ
14) Lifeโs a party when you end up at this funeral home.
Who says life is over when youโre buried six feet under? The party is only getting started when people get to dance on your grave!
15) You canโt spell โAmusementโ without thisโฆ.
Well, I suppose this is probably amusing to some people. Like 14-year-old boys and old sailors who canโt stop telling the same stupid dirty jokes over and over again.
16) This PetCo sign!
When this PetCo sign started to burn out, it left a hilarious impression behind. Itโs all lies and fish the moment you step foot into the store!
17) Mmm, sounds delish
This loudmouth sign is just reminding you where youโre supposed to put the food. Hopefully itโs still a $12.99 all-you-can-eat buffet!
18) Finally! A store for cat ladies.
The secret is finally out! This is where they churn out all the cute kitties for those funny cat memes.
19) Homeless elves need this.
Especially right after Christmas, when elf storage becomes a real problem. All those used up Elves on the Shelf need someplace warm to bunker down until the next holiday season rolls around.
20) Doh!
This is even funnier with Homer Simpsonโs face staring right back at you from the window! RIP Blockbuster Video.
21) Barefoot hoes
This is how it all starts! Next thing you know, theyโll be barefoot and pregnant. Itโs the cycle of life.
22) Sign outside Kim Kardashianโs new home
Itโs supposed to say โFirst American Title.โ But, the sign had a couple of funny things it wanted to say.
23) The sign at this hoe-tel
Iโd expect nothing less of a seedy side-street establishment like this. I bet even the bed bugs love to stick around.
24) Halloween store?
Okay, but only if I can rent one that looks like a famous celebrity butt. None of those run-of-the-mill flat ones for me!
25) A place for ex-friends, bosses, and in-laws
Round them up and send them here! Looks like theyโd fit right in. The sign even says so.
26) Rothchildโs Liquors
Wow, the liquor laws have become really lax. Either that, or โliquorโ is just a code name for milk.
27) Brodie Food Mart
This is what happens when โbro foodโ runs out of juice. People start to get really desperate!
28) I think Iโll pass.
I was kind of looking forward to just getting my windows tinted without having Johnnyโs man boobs all up in my face. Besides, I donโt have any dollar bills on me.
29) โOoh Yeah!โ
This Goodyear sign fail turned into a cheeky win for pro wrestler Randy Savage. The former WWF Heavyweight Champion was known for his signature catch phrase โooh yeah!โ RIP Macho Man!
30) โIโm not as hungry as I thought.โ
Sometimes truth in advertising isnโt a good thing. They should have gone with something more palatable, like โmediocre.โ
31) Hey, that doesnโt spell Thwaites Brewery!
After the company announced job cuts, the letters H, I and E mysteriously disappeared. Looks like a just-let-go employee was quick to make it known what he really thought!
32) The best Jew in the city!
Hot on the success of the Worldโs Greatest Dad and the Next Top Model comes Top Jew! They make the best looking jewelry in the city.
33) Mad Max Part 5: Road Anger
Are you always running out of road rage when you really need it the most? No worries, Road Anger has got you covered!
Take a breather and
34) Yo ho, itโs sexy dinner time!
And apparently, the only thing theyโre serving is chicken. But I hear thereโs a secret menu for little peckers.
35) Sounds about right
Nothing is free. You still have to fork over money to buy Happy Meals while the kiddos amuse themselves.
36) โSome lights on the sign at the local bowling alley burned outโฆโ
Now I know why everyone loves bowling so much. โLetโs go for some bong, I mean bowling!โ
@ThePen_isMightier:
โAnother mildly interesting fact: I recently went to India, was walking through a village outside of Haridwar and asked someone what they call marijuana in Hindi (it grows wild all over there), he told me โbongโ. Not sure if the spelling is the same.โ
37) I think they got it backwards.
Itโs a one-way only street. Poo doesnโt ever enter. It only leaves.
38) Nah, no thanks.
Unless youโre offering to let me dip a hot fudge sundae cone into a pile of peanuts, nut dip just sounds too healthy. I could really go for a donut, though!
39) Found my new gym!
Wait, you mean thereโs a 24/7 nap fitness place? Yes! Iโm falling asleep already!
40) โIf weโre posting amusingly burnt-out signsโฆโ
The original sign is just as amusing! Oh, to be the poor boy who had to suffer his entire life with a last name like Badcock.
41) Crabby Dickโs
You know, they have penicillin for that. Then youโd have to change the sign to Happy Dickโs.
42) Falafel King
The king of failed neon signs! Itโs almost as good as Pho King, the Vietnamese noodle soup version of this sign.
43) โSome of the lights at my local bar burned out.โ
They should probably add a couple of more Xโs to that Bar-X sign of theirs. You know, just to make it three times more legit.
44) Mexican Man Restaurant
Well, thatโs a very specific niche they chose. Or, are they trying to save they serve up spicy human meat?
45) Dunk Nuts
Well, if you insist. But the last time a professional teabagger did that in public, they got arrested for it.
46) โFeminist take over at the Sheraton commander hotel last night.โ
Yeah, come to think of it, she has been kind of bossy lately. I guess this is an upgrade from stone tablets to get the message across.
47) โThe light burned out in this sign made it quite contemplative.โ
Are feet shoes? If shoes donโt exist, do you exist? Ah, these existential questions are just too much!
48) Target is getting so chill
Go on, admit it. You nodded your head towards the Target sign when you saw it asking you wassup.
49) 1-Hr Photo?
Hope you brought some good reading material. Itโll be a while before you get out of there.
50) Waidโs Restaurant
Poor Waidโs Restaurant probably didnโt stay in business very long after this sign failed. The thought just isnโt very appetizing.
51) So how does this work exactly?
Well, I already have two. But, Iโd like to upgrade to a new 36DD Sofia Vergara model please.
52) โBra hamburgers! As seen in Claremore tonight!โ
Looks like this is the next big thing for lingerie boutique foodies! I was wondering why my boyfriend kept drooling over my bra drawer.
53) New dictionary word of the day
What I didnโt learn on Sesame Street I learned from streets signs like this. I dare you to use this into a sentence today!
54) Eat Wall
Well, I did, but it was a little bit too dry and stony for my taste. Do you have one thatโs a little bit less crunchy?
55) The Ho Depot
Itโs a home improvement store by day, and a place to pick up your future ex-girlfriend at night. No wonder guys love to hang out there so much!
56) It used to be a Hooters sign
Great! Now you can get your ho to go. But, the $5 all-day rate is only for the ones named Margarita.
57) Be careful what you say around Jack Daniels.
Heโs been a little bit emo lately. You might hurt his feelings, so please handle with care!
58) Peedway
Caution, wet conditions ahead! And whatever you do, donโt follow the yellow brick road.
59) Warehouse, orโฆ?
You donโt have to be a rich prepper to shop here. Looks like they accept EBT cards!
60) When itโs time to Pan-nic!
Imagine seeing this sign pop up in the middle of the night on a very lonely and desolate road. Thatโs when the horror movie music starts running through your brain and you convince yourself that nothing but bad things is up ahead!
61) For Con Men Only
Hereโs a store for the discerning con man who loves to travel. Why not stay organized when youโre on the go?
62) Iโm Hurt!
Well, thatโs pretty accurate! If youโre hurt, Elmhurst trauma center is the best place to be.
63) โYou Never Knew How To Use A Pork Knuckle, Did You?โ
Pork knuckles. Itโs whatโs for dinner at this Chinese house of tasty flying fists.
64) Nope, no sold out cruises here
There are always empty cabins on this cruise. Thatโs because they keep going to places where no one wants to go.
65) Larryโs Hoes
When John is too busy to talk shop, Larry Flynt has got you covered. Looks like heโs got quite the side Hustler going on!
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