Of course there’s no free monkey here, but putting someone’s phone number on a “Free Monkey” sign is going to get them two types of phone calls: 1) those from people eager to get a free monkey, and 2) those who are mortally offended that someone would keep a monkey as a pet.

Both are annoying.

The person who made this sign is using it against the worst of the spammers:

“Every time I get a spam fax at work I put the spammer’s number on a Free Monkey flyer and post it somewhere around town.”

Gruesome. Of this photo, the OP said:

“Lad at work just eats everyone’s treats. Tomorrow will be a surprise for him.”

Yes, it will! A really gross surprise – and one that we would have loved to watch.

Seriously though, who steals people’s food!?

Never mess with a creative woman.

We really have no sympathy for cheaters (just break up already!), but this probably goes beyond petty since that tattoo will be a forever reminder of what he did.

“Next time you think about locking your cat in the bathroom for a bit, don’t” was the advice of this cat owner.

It’s impossible to discipline a cat and get off scot-free.

Clearly this feline does not care about the environment.

We don’t know whose side we would have taken in this relationship, but we do know that we admire the creativity of the guy who put his new wife’s face on the alimony check that he has to send his ex-wife every month.

Seems like everybody wins here – he gets his petty revenge and she gets her cash.

It’s hard to sleep with a snorer! So when this woman’s husband laughed at her idea to share her pain with the rest of the world, she went ahead with it.

Now the whole world knows just what he sounds like (and, finally, so does he!).

When a family got their reindeer decorations stolen, they replaced them with the security camera stills of the thief.

We love it!

While it’s not exactly festive, it is embarassing to a person who totally deserves it!

Well, that’s one use for zip ties!

When this obnoxious driver parked in 2 spots, a parking lot avenger decided to zip tie a shopping cart to his door handle.

At least now they have to face some inconvenience as well!

Revenge might be a strong word for this, but town members were so annoyed about a pothole not being fixed that they threw it a birthday party, cake and all.

We doubt the town enjoyed that bad press.

This is genius. The poster confirmed that they were not only loud and rude but not-so-nice to the wait staff, in addition, so we don’t feel bad that they’ll have to buy a new domain name for their business (or pay out the nose to the guy who bought it out from under them).

ALWAYS be nice to the waitstaff.

If you can’t take responsibility for your pets, you can expect all sorts of bad karma.

And – in this case – a fine to go along with it.

It’s hard to believe this is real, but seeing how far people will go to get revenge, it very well could be.

This might be a bit big to be “petty” though. It was titled “Bitter man buys the house next door to his ex-wife and installs an interesting sculpture.”

That seems like a big investment for sweet, immature revenge.

It’s hard to tell your neighbors to change something they’re doing, but it is a lot more mature than making the police deal with your squabbles.

We don’t know what the next move is here, but it’s either an admission and apology or a bird-eye view of obnoxious deor for eternity.

Sometimes it’s better to just apologize.

Who was being more petty here – the person who made the first sign or the folks at “corporate” who told them to take it down?

We think they got the point across with the second sign as well.

This roommate was kind enough to unclog a drain full of their housemate’s hair.

And to let him or her know, they spelled it out for them – quite literally, with the hair.

Distusting and brilliant!

Some people are bad losers.

But do you think this guy played so dirty during the office snowball fight that he deserved this petty revenge afterward?

Probably.

The OP wrote:

“Pettiness level 100,000,00…… My husband was angry this morning so he decided he was only making his half of the bed.”

Hey, that’s still more than some husbands do.

The pettiness level on this one is cranked up to the max.

Ooh, that’s cold.

Not only was this guy reminded of the fight with his partner the night before while he was at work, but he also has to wonder if his food is jinxed.

This person parked halfway on the disabled parking spot and halfway on the crosswalk to the mall. They did not have a handicapped sticker – they’re just entitled.

Now they’re entitled and their BMW is covered in jam.

Bet that was fun to wash off!

This person was so sick of people stealing packages from their porch that they left a little gift behind for the next person who does it.

It’s a giant bag of dog turds – which is exactly what they deserve.

Some people are so creative with their revenge that we truly have to marvel.

We don’t know what this guy’s roomate did, but we’re guessing he’s never going to do it again.

This neighbor’s revenge is so subtle you can only see it from the sky.

If you go on Google maps, you’ll see exactly what he thinks about the jerk next door.

We feel the most sympathy for the wasted trees here.

After a friend toilet papered this OPs car, they decided to get them back…colorfully.

That is A LOT of Post-Its to take off a car!

The OP said:

“I’ve carried chalk in my car for 10 months just so I could do this once. Yesterday was the day.”

We hope it was everything they dreamed it would be.

This probably goes beyond petty – it’s certainly downright disgusting.

Still, we have to know who these barbarians are that eat other people’s food at work. That’s next-level clueless.

Maybe they do deserve some cat food.

We all know who is going to win this battle in the end and it is NOT the human.

Always be careful when trying to get revenge against your cat.

The OP wrote:

“This is 6 months worth of junk mail. I shoved all the contents into the prepaid envelopes and tomorrow I’m mailing it all back at the junk mailers expense.”

Again, aside from the senseless environmental impact, we are so down for pranking junk mailers.

When this person didn’t call their grandmother enough, she sent their child a special gift in the mail.

And we’re sure the kid LOVED making tons of noise with it.

Guess their parents will have some phone calls to make in the future.

When you can’t call a customer a d*ck to their faces, sometimes you have to say it with froth.

Of course, you can always deny it was intentional.

Subtle, petty, brilliant.

We’re not sure what the dog did (maybe it just existed – that’s enough to annoy a cat most of the time) but he’s certainly learning his lesson.

This cat has taken its enjoyment of the dog’s bed to the most gloriously petty level.

Well, Randy, guess you need to pay your bills next time.

Not all publicity is good publicity.

Some commenters couldn’t understand how these women were missing out if they were still getting a discount.

Clearly they don’t know women very well.

We’d say this waitress got the best revenge – but probably not a great tip.

If we’ve learned anything so far it’s that people carry a lot of things in their cars just to get petty revenge on other drivers.

Is no one parking in the lines anymore these days? How hard is it?!

Sweet revenge.

How many times has your cat laid on your laptop or keyboard and made life inconvenient?

We’re enjoying the look of annoyance on the cat’s face – especially since it can technically get up whenever it wants.

This coworker is an evil genius. Not only did he remove the glass from his officemate’s desk, he even strung a piece of tape across the frame so he could leave the pieces of garbage there.

Nice effort!

And threading his shoes through the frame is a great, and deeply inconvenient, touch too.

If you’re going to prank a coworker, you can expect them to get revenge somehow. This is one of the tamer ways.

We wonder how long it takes to unwrap a whole car.

Now we know why it says “no parking.”

Too bad this driver felt like the rules didn’t apply to them.

They deserved to get towed!

If you’re going to steal someone’s phone and use it to check social media, always remember to log out.

Otherwise all of your friends will know what you’ve done.

Enjoy that trip to the oh-so-“dangerous” Target!

Trust us, no one wants to talk to a bigot like this in the bathroom anyway.

Get over it and get on with life.

It’s amazing how much you can torture someone if you have their phone number.

We wonder how long it took this guy to get mad – and then get revenge.

This takes dedication. The kind of dedication only an 8th grade boy would have.

We bet this teacher just gave him the hall pass from there on out.

OP explained:

“Joined a gym, and was teased by my fit friends who workout there. Got my revenge.”

Who teases people at the gym? That’s so low.

Do you think this was enough to embarrass these guys?

Sadly, if you take duckface gym selfies, your threshold for embarrassment is probably pretty high (and your self-awareness pretty low).

This guy’s girlfriend packed his lunch after an argument they had the night before.

It wasn’t until he got to work that he realized he’d be hungry for the rest of the day.

Well deserved.

Don’t lock your dog in the car for extended periods of time.

Well, we guess no one gets to enjoy that inheritance now – except the people who read the magazines that this woman posted her ads in.

Sheesh, at least wait until the person is dead to bicker over money!

Frankly, this seems like a cool reward.

We bet Joe uses his mode all the time!

Listen, your mom is ALWAYS going to win when it comes to petty revenge.

Just let her put a note in your lunch. You don’t even have to read it.

Another break room bandit!

This one got a taste of something special the next time they went to steal the Coffeemate.

Cigarette butts are the most littered substance on Earth and they’re damaging to the environment, especially wildlife.

This neighbor decided to do a good deed by picking some up – and then decided to be petty by returning them to their owner.

That’s a nice big bag of something to think about!

If you’re going to let your dogs bark all night and keep the neighbors awake, it looks like you can expect a wake-up call from their kid.

Hey, they’re just encouraging the arts!

You shouldn’t have to beg the person you live with to help do the housework they helped create.

But if you do and you’re fed up with it, putting their favorite game in with the snake they’re terrified of is a great way to get petty revenge.

If you’re going to steal pumpkins under the cloak of darkness from your neighbor’s porch, you deserve a little something for your trouble – like a stabby surprise.

Keep your hands to yourself if you don’t want to have to cover them in band-aids.

We’re stunned that someone would call a person fat to their face.

Guess she’ll be losing a bit more weight herself now that he has all the food.

Ouch.

We’re not sure this kid is going to reduce his grounding sentence with this behavior, but he certainly got his petty revenge.

Then again, if you get grounded it’s usually because you did something wrong first.

We couldn’t help but laugh at this guy’s way of being passive-aggressive with his wife.

So much for Pinterest being a sacred space.

Heaven forbid your cupcake look like a mere cupcake!

Aargh. We can already feel the frustration of having someone take away Netflix right before you watch the season finale of your favorite show.

Then again, maybe you should buy your own subscription.

It’s the eternal struggle. No one ever knows what they want to eat.

But one woman was just tired of hearing her boyfriend say “I don’t know” every time she asked him, so she finally just gave him a big bowl of his own words to eat.

If you’re going to be petty enough to clean just your side of something, you might as well do it with great precision.

Even more petty would be the neighbors with the dirty side leaving it that way forever.

Politics is already controversial, so when a campaign worker thinks they can leave a sign on your lawn, you’re pretty much free to do whatever you want with it.

We kind of hope these people left it there until the end of the election.

Bad tipper? You’re the worst.

You really can’t expect to get the same service as people who treat their servers like people.

So enjoy your $25 Seagrams.