Have you ever put your foot in your mouth so bad that you wished everyone around you would just disappear? Letโs face it, we probably all have. No matter how hard we try, weโre all liable to misspeak or not think through a statementโฆ and end up looking pretty silly as a result. Still, most of the time these are one-off circumstances that donโt repeat themselvesโand donโt get recorded. Unfortunately for the people on this list, their dumbest moments were recorded for the rest of us to enjoy. With no further ado, here are 55 of the dumbest things people have been caught saying.
1. Sometimes the answers are right in front of usโฆ
Sometimes, someone says something and we donโt even realized weโve missed the most important of it. Kind of like one of Reddit user TheRealRachelโs friends did. All you had to do was slow down and take a breath and you couldโve avoided this. Instead, this is happening.
Source:
reddit.com/TheRealRachel
2. Honestly, we can kind of start to the confusion here.
Look, before you leap to judgment on this one, consider that we have no idea what goes into our pills. A lot of the time theyโre stuffed full of fillers and mystery substances that may or may not be the vitamins we paid good money for. So if you had diet versions of them theyโd beโฆ good for a diet? Because diets are healthy? We donโt know.
Source:
reddit.com/FlipTheFalcon
3. Retail workers canโt control the weather, sorry.
This one is so bizarre that we almost think it was just a customer playing a prank on the worker. Either that or this person was having such a bad day that they just needed someone else to take it out on. At best, this was an impulsive, angry moment taken out on someone who didnโt deserve it. At worst, wellโฆ this is a pretty confusing thing to say.
Source:
reddit.com/filthytugboat
4. You were so close to getting it. So close.
Although we can respect the impulse of where this question came from, itโs a classic issue of missing the first principle of the problem. The problem with this scenario originates outside of the scenario this person pointed out. Weโll wait until they get it, though we might be waiting for a long time.
Source:
reddit.com/SlickWinston
5. Is your coworker an alien creature from the sea?
There are definitely plenty of things about the human body that we still donโt understand. Mysterious about consciousness, how the brain works, things like that. What we do know pretty well, though, is that if you lop off your finger and donโt get it on ice and surgically reattached right away, that finger is gone forever, chief. What we donโt know is how the public school system failed this man so badly.
Source:
reddit.com/Aim_snap_fail
6. This would be horribly cruel if it were actually true (but itโs kind of hilarious).
Ah, drug dogs. How else do you get a drug dog to know his drugs apart? You get them hooked on illicit substances, of course! There are so many holes in the logic of this one that we have to just stand back in awe, honestly. But thatโs after I regain my strength because my sides are splitting from laughing at this one.
Source:
reddit.com/middle_sized_richard
7. This story is incredible.
People can do some pretty inexplicable things when theyโre drunk, so weโre going to have to chalk this one up to that. Otherwise, we have some serious concerns about the woman in this story. Though the story is hilarious, the final comment is really the icing on the cake here. Thatโs true about crows, by the way.
Source:
reddit.com/Alwin_, konapun_
8. This one is so upsetting.
If you think too long about eating chicken eggs, it can start to weird you out a little bit. Still, thereโs gotta be something kind of wrong with you if you take it to the next level of trying to combine human genetic material with a chicken eggโฆ let alone thinking that it would successfully result in a human-chicken hybrid.
Source:
reddit.com/MetalLava
9. I wouldnโt hold your breath on that bridge.
Hawaii is a beautiful place to visit, or a beautiful place to live if you happen to live there. The only issue is that it takes a pretty long time to get there, even if you fly. What you absolutely canโt do is drive there on a bridge across the Pacific Ocean. You would think that would be common sense. But youโd be wrong.
Source:
reddit.com/tuscaloser
10. Good luck with that one, buddy.
Flying in a plane thatโs going down is one of the biggest fears I have in my entire life. Part of what makes it so terrifying is that in my mind, itโs over at that pointโeven if we crash land in the ocean, the chances are good that the landing will be rough enough to either injure or kill me. If only I had the blind, insane faith that this man did. Nobody tell him the truth, this is too pure.
Source:
reddit.com/sectexan
11. Ah, so thatโs where that word comes from!
Although this one makes us laugh, it doesnโt give us a ton of confidence about what goes on in restaurant kitchens. Fortunately, there are people like the cook in this story who stand up to actual insanity like this. When ego gets in the way, people can do some pretty unbelievable things.
Source:
reddit.com
12. Unfortunately, this is a pretty popular theory these days.
Though it goes without saying, the internet has given rise to some pretty fringe and extremist communities. Some of it is about racism, some of it is about hyper-specific fandomsโฆ but some of it about how the Earth is flat and nearly all scientific consensuses are not real. Itโs funny how people who know so little about science are so confident that they know more than scientists do, but I guess thatโs life. The second comment really says it all here.
Source:
reddit.com/Khirfan_, DinerWaitress
13. Itโs almost hard to believe that this one even happened.
Saddam Hussein is a pretty infamous figure in world history, and he wouldโve been even more famous right around the time this story takes place. Maybe the best thing about this one is that the final twist at the end couldnโt be more perfect, itโs almost like someone sat down and came up with this. Still, people have said more outlandish things before.
Source:
reddit.com/ginbooth
14. Someone is going to be in for a big surpriseโฆ
Cosmetic surgery is all well and goodโafter all, itโs your money to spend however you want. Still, itโs worth researching anything that youโre about to spend a significant amount of money. And if itโs plastic surgery, itโs important to do it for yourself, not for othersโฆ and especially not for your kids who will get no benefit from it whatsoever. But hey, who are we to judge?
Source:
reddit.com/frank_grimes1
15. How would this even work?
We understand that there are some risks that come with being in the middle of a thunderstorm, particularly if you have a bunch of important electronics plugged in while itโs happening. Still, WiFi connections work completely differentlyโฆ honestly, we can almost understand someone not understanding this.
Source:
reddit.com/gerafas
16. Yikes.
Weโre not sure if this is an official saying or not, but sometimes owning up to your mistakes can be the blowback from them a little bit easier. That may be true most of the time, but maybe not in this case. Weโll let you be the judge.
Source:
reddit.com/MyUglyKitty
17. Weโve gotta admit that thereโs a twisted logic to this one.
It can be a pain to have to fill up your gas tank all the way if youโre particularly tight on cash. Sometimes, if youโre in a hurry, you just put a little bit of gas in and drive away. In another sense, this can help you budget how much youโre spending on gas as well! In that sense, this makes a little bit of senseโฆ but wait until he finds out how much $20 gets.
Source:
reddit.com/thewhitedeath
18. It took us a minute to get this one, but now we love it.
Because human beings donโt have to hibernate, itโs an understandably mysterious process to most of us. Because of that, we may have a few misconceptions about animal behavior. Still, thereโs not much of an explanation for the confusion around this oneโฆ polar bears live in the snow, after all.
Source:
reddit.com/CharredRyeBread
19. Talk about a gigantic baby!
Although thereโs a lot of information on our birth certificate, weโre still babies when that information is recorded. Though we might be able to figure out how much we weighed, where we were born and what time we were born, our height is yet to be determined. Still, this one is kind of an honest mistake.
Source:
reddit.com/jwardrip99
20. Thereโs a lot to unpack in this one.
To be completely fair, most of us donโt know exactly how the planets and celestial bodies work. To be sure, we know about stars, planets, moons and black holes, but sometimes the finer details can get confusing. Still, not many people get the sun and the moon confused (we hope, at least).
Source:
reddit.com/Seltzer_God
21. People have believed wilder things than this before, right?
The Lord of the Rings is one of those famously loved books that has fully seeped into the public consciousness. Because of that, many of its biggest fans know so many tiny details about the storyโs universe. If you donโt have much context for it, I guess this is a reasonable mistake to makeโฆ unless youโre an adult, in which case what?
Source:
reddit.com/wildescrawl
22. Other people mustโve made this mistake before.
Blowing up balloons is a real pain in the neck, and blowing out so much air can leave people feeling light-headed. So maybe thatโs what was happening when this person made this comment. Weโre just trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, you know?
Source:
reddit.com/curbrgrbrsn
23. Wait, so thatโs how that works?
Honestly, if this is a dumb thing then consider us dumb, because weโve thought this all the time. On one level, you always kind of know that the people behind you arenโt constantly flashing you with their brights. On the other hand, any time you get flashed like that from behind itโs pretty annoyingโฆ so we get it.
Source:
reddit.com/QuirkyForever
24. Weโre pretty sure this isnโt how plasma television sets workโฆ
Plasma television sets are a pretty cool technology with electrified gas in them, which turns into what we call plasma. On the other hand, we also have โplasmaโ in our bodies, which is a colorless fluid in our blood. Between those two definitions, weโre pretty sure the wires got crossed here somehow.
Source:
reddit.com/AceAvocado007
25. Weโve heard of chastity, but this is pretty extreme.
In elementary school and secondary school, thereโs a pretty commonly held idea to dissuade kids from having sex or from getting too involved romantically too early. Along with that could come recommendations to set boundaries and practice safe sex. On the other hand, telling this to a kid just seems a little misleading (and terrifying as well).
Source:
reddit.com/PM_ME_THEM_4_SCIENCE
26. Everyone has misconceptions about other countries, but this is extreme.
There are definitely places where if you havenโt travelled there, but at this point in the modern world, we pretty much know that most places have the same technology. Everywhere has businesses and everywhere has people and so on. Still, apparently roads were too much of a stretch for this guy to believe.
Source:
reddit.com/knudow
27. Thereโs no way you could believe this unless youโve never used a microwave.
What does the word defrost mean to you? Usually it means to make something frozen become unfrozenโin fact, thatโs all it means. Moving from cold to warmer. Honestly, we have no idea how this person came to this conclusion.
Source:
reddit.com/spinynorman1846
28. The school system truly has failed certain people.
In high school, some people liked reading Shakespeare and other people truly hated it. Still, most people pretty much know that nobody talks like Shakespeare writes, nobody how young they are. Which raises some questions about how old Shakespeare is. Point being: everyone knows Shakespeare is dead.
Source:
reddit.com/Xipe_Totec_89
29. We donโt recommend any part of this part of this, to be clear.
Look, if youโre going to do drugs at all, you should probably know a little bit about how basic chemistry works. And you should also know that this is absolutely not at all how it works. Also: in what context did this conversation come up? We have so many questions.
Source:
reddit.com/g_tea
30. This one seems like it couldโve been avoidable.
Just like the example with the planets, thereโs a lot about the world beyond Earth that doesnโt always make automatic sense to us. Still, basic science should answer a lot of questions about Earthly phenomena at leastโฆ basically, this one just isnโt quite right is all weโre saying.
Source:
reddit.com/chitibang
31. We donโt even know what this person was getting at.
Weโre not all great at geography and thereโs probably still plenty of things we could learn about the world. Still, most of us understand how international flights work and how travel works in general. Still, how to explain this statement then? Donโt you fly (or boat, I guess) to all islands?
Source:
reddit.com/BananaLeah
32. Sounds like a very political drive-thru order.
Under the wrong circumstances, ordering at the drive-thru window can be a little bit awkward. Maybe someone canโt hear somebody else or maybe the person ordering is just a bit anxious in general. Still, weโve never personally run into this situation before.
Source:
reddit.com/smgene
33. Are we sure this woman wasnโt just making a terrible, terrible joke?
I wouldnโt want to be born on a leap year because it would cause a lot of confusion every single year. I also never understood why that time couldnโt just be spread out differently so we could have the same number of days each year? In any event, we hope this teacher was joking.
Source:
reddit.com/Honey_basher
34. Common mistake for a first-time cat owner.
Ah yes, the classic โmy cat is vibratingโ scenario. As anyone who has owned a cat knows, when cats purr, their entire body vibrates gentlyโand this usually means theyโre happy! Hopefully this guy figures this out without spending money at the vet.
Source:
reddit.com/NotYorkshiresFinest
35. You have to know at least a little bit more about the world than this guy.
Look, if you live on one side of the world and you canโt remember something about a country on the exact opposite side of it, we could look the other way. But America literally was born out of things that happened in England. Thereโs truly no excuse for not knowing this.
Source:
reddit.com/onyxfiye
36. Honestly, maybe she just heard this person wrong.
The perfect senior prank can be hard to pull off. Thereโs a lot of secrecy, planning and discussion that goes into each one, particularly with how far the prank can go without being too dangerous or offensive. In the process of all that discussion, we could see how something like this would get said.
Source:
reddit.com
37. Gotta give her some points for originality, here.
Weโve heard of the theory of evolution and weโve heard of the theory of creation, but we havenโt heard of whatever theory this is. Chickens come out of eggs but human beings donโt exactly share the same anatomyโฆ it would help to know how old the person saying this was.
Source:
reddit.com/eel1330
38. โฆWhat?
Help us out with this one. Is she talking about the chem trails conspiracy? Is she just poetically describing pollen? Is she talking about something else entirely? The main takeaway is that weโre hugely confused.
Source:
reddit.com/KSrager92
39. This is honestly hilarious.
Look, I donโt care if this was a sincere comment or purely a joke. If somebody said this in front of me at an Italian restaurant, I would die laughing and itโs just that simple. Bravo, whoever said this, bravo.
Source:
reddit.com/svgcbbg
40. How would that even work?
Plenty of countries have their own national monuments that thousands of people travel to see each year. These places are the pride of those countries, so they probably would never want to part with them. Which is why weโre so confused here. Why would anyone ever do this? Also how would it then help Greece? Weโre lost.
Source:
reddit.com
41. Two for one!
The buffalo thing here would be an honest mistakeโฆ except that there are really pretty few of them in America and also those wings are chicken obviously. As for the second thing, it sounds like something believable until you really put it under scrutiny.
Source:
reddit.com
42. Wyoming kind of is an entirely different country thoughโฆ
Traveling around the United States can really open your eyes to how much variety the country has to offer. Although we all know whatever area we live in, other places can start to feel pretty different. That said, Wyoming is not a country.
Source:
reddit.com/rabbidplatypus21
43. Sometimes in life you need to think fast.
Though Iโve worked my fair share of bad jobs in my day, Iโve never actually worked in a drive-thru. The problem is that in those jobs, youโre trapped in a box with whoever happens to drive by. In this situation, it sounds like it was a nightmare. It definitely pays to have a hilarious manager in those situations.
Source:
reddit.com/lolspHD
44. Checkmateโฆ. or is it?
First things first, the argument that God might not like people with long hair is ridiculous. What about Samson, says the guy in this storyโฆ although things didnโt really turn out great for Samson. More importantly, what about Jesus? I guess in a sense, things didnโt turn out great for Jesus eitherโฆ I think weโre learning more about God here than we are about hair.
Source:
reddit.com/nuclearbiscuits
45. Weโve heard some pretty outrageous lies but this one is something else.
Though we may never understand why people choose to lie when they really donโt have to, at least make your lies somewhat believable if youโre going to do it. We donโt even know where to start with this oneโฆ points for creativity, we guess.
Source:
reddit.com/UncleGriswold
46. Everybody embarrasses themselves from time to time.
Weโve all put our foot in our mouth or not thought through something before. Still, usually it happens with a small, simple thing and not with something complicated and convoluted like this. At least heโs willing to own up to it!
Source:
reddit.com/jimmy_rigger
47. Donโt be racist.
Weโve probably all been in a situation where somebody else tries to make you agree with something theyโve said. If they donโt do it, you end up looking pretty dumbโฆ and in this case, you also end up looking pretty racist. Just donโt do it.
Source:
reddit.com/UncleGriswold
48. Sighโฆ
Even the most well-intentioned of statements can fall completely flat in the wrong circumstances. If you needed any firm proof of that, just consider what this person said about electoral politics in North Korea.
Source:
reddit.com/miss-robot
49. To be fair, I didnโt know what a dumbwaiter was until late in life.
At least this one comes from a good place! I wouldnโt like it if the place I was staying had bad policies towards its waitstaff, either. This also raises questions about why a dumbwaiter is even still called that and why it hasnโt been renamed. Oh well.
Source:
reddit.com/Back2Bach
50. This is a really alarming thing to learn about our college system.
You probably wonโt agree with everything youโre taught in college, but the idea is that the people there are wise and have a lot of knowledge to impart. Thatโs why itโs a little bit strange that freshman level teachers are spouting weird stuff like this to a classroom full of impressionable minds.
Source:
reddit.com/PM_ME_CLASSIC_HIPHOP
51. This is pretty next level.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but sometimes those opinions run contrary to demonstrable facts. In the case of the color of a popular cereal, it generally either is a thing or itโs not. Not much room to debate hereโฆ and yet here someone is, debating.
Source:
reddit.com
52. Nobodyโs done it but that would be so awesome if it happened.
In case you didnโt know, the Sphinx and the pyramids are enormous objects that are intricately made and are so heavy that they canโt be moved. So if someone actually found a way to steal them completely intact, that would be impressive.
Source:
reddit.com/NoizCrew
53. This is some truly wild thinking.
If you look for patterns in the world, youโre sure to find them everywhereโthey just might not make a whole lot of sense. In the case of our silverware, everybody uses everything regardless of their genderโฆ so weโre a little lost on this one.
Source:
reddit.com/-eDgAR-
54. Donโt trust this guy.
If youโre cooking a steak, feel free to cook it to whatever level of done-ness your heart desires. But if youโre cooking a chicken breast, I want that think completely blasted through with heat. Keep that salmonella far away from me, thank you.
Source:
reddit.com/Vilefighter
55. We are speechless.
Look, if youโre going to go through life not knowing about anything at all and also never learning about it, you have to at least do the world a favor and keep it to yourself. When you say things like this to someone else in 2019 it just confuses them and makes them afraid. Please stop.
Source:
reddit.com/mechy84
Though it goes without saying, we all make mistakes. From time to time, we all put our foot in our mouth and say something we didnโt mean or that we didnโt think through. In those unfortunate circumstances, sometimes we get lucky enough that itโs hilarious and someone else writes it down. If you donโt want to end up on one of these lists, think through what youโre saying next time, maybe?
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