Security is one area where you always want things to be done right. If they aren’t things can go sideways pretty quickly and, being that its security we’re talking about here, this means that a slip-up in routine could be pretty dangerous. Fortunately, though, some of them are bound to be pretty funny, too.
This article looks at 54 incidents of security being incredibly lax and, at best, misguided. The results are often quite hilarious, although they will fill you with worry about just how safe things are out there.
Polaroid Security Camera
This security camera isn’t quite as advanced as others you may have seen. As it is a Polaroid camera it does require you to shake the actual picture before it comes into focus.
Here we see a homeowner who has decided to build a garage that is larger than their actual home. They have then placed this garage on top of the rest of their home as if they are playing a dangerous game of real-life Jenga.
Despite the large piece of wood that has been attached to the steering wheel of this car, you probably could still steal this vehicle. Turning left or right might be difficult, however.
Up until 2020, none of us thought about locking our toilet paper but now hoarding TP is all some people ever think about. Nobody is going to be stealing this toilet paper, however.
When the zombie apocalypse hits, none of us are going to have time to fashion weapons. We are going to have to make do with what we have around us. This person has made their own DIY zombie head smashing device.
Have you ever lived with someone who had a hard time respecting other people’s food and not eating it? Evidently, the people who use this fridge were highly motivated to keep someone else out of it.
Similar to the previous entry, this person has locked their car doors by tying them together with a chain. One has to wonder how many people would be motivated to actually steal from a car like this though…
Thank goodness these scissors have been attached to a string so that nobody steals them. I mean, you could probably just cut the string with the scissors but who’s going to think of that?
Just Take The Sign Down When You Don’t Want To Be Robbed
To enter this door you need to know the code. Don’t worry, however, as the code has been printed for you and plastered on the front of the building. What the purpose of the door code is here is not entirely clear.
Here we see three guys working as a team to be safe. The two guys put their weight on the ladder so the one guy can balance on it over the ledge. The people who live below may want to avoid sitting or standing directly underneath that air conditioner, however.
This person evidently did not have a garage so they worked with what they had. The car is locked away in an individual car case that no thief could circumvent.
Useless gates are a thing that crop up in society more often than you would think. Here is such a gate that acts as a barrier between the door and anyone who doesn’t want to walk on the grass around it.
Too many bears were getting in this dumpster so the owners had an ingenious idea, put up a sign saying that no bears are allowed. That way, the bears would know that they are not supposed to be in the dumpster. Wait a second, what is that bear doing there?
Behind that life-sized cutout picture of a security guard is a real life security guard. The real-life version has figured out that he can take a nap if he hides behind the life-sized cutout one. Seems like a safe store.
You may find yourself one day in a situation where you want to lock a drawer. In this case, you should also lock the drawers above the one you want to lock, or else someone can still get in.
Some people really don’t want others drinking from their coffee mug. The person from this photo is evidently one such person. You will need the key to the lock in order to use this mug.
Some people think that rumbas are only for cleaning floors. This is incorrect. If you strap a knife to the rumba it also serves as a security guard. Albeit a bad, and terribly dangerous security guard but a security guard nonetheless.
Here we see a tag on some clothing that kindly reminds the washer to remove the child from the material before putting it in the machine. This is really more of a suggestion than a rule, however.
We have several questions about this photo. A person seems to have locked up their bike but then locked a pair of sandals around it as well. So, what are they wearing on their feet?
Some people really do not want to lose their spoons. If doing so requires attaching a spoon to a long and unbreakable chain, then that is what they will do.
Bicycle locks are not meant for cars but if you’re creative you can still use them on a vehicle. Take this guy who has attached a bike lock to his steering wheel and front seat.
It’s tough to know what is locking what in this photo. There are multiple locks but they all just seem to be securing other locks. In the end, we’re not sure anything has been made more secure here.
It’s entirely likely that we will see more and more of signs like this popping up on our streets. Only drivers who aren’t distracted by their smartphones will be able to see them, however.
It takes a lot of effort to lock your bike with duct tape but a lot of effort is what this person has put in. It’s not even clear if there is a bike underneath all of this duct tape.
When you see photos like this, you hope that a person has done this ironically. Deadbolting gates like this serves no purpose, as someone could just reach through the bars to the other side of the deadbolt and open it.
This photo feels like Pablo Picasso experienced a modern bathroom at some point in his life and then painted it. Good luck reaching those top rolls in a pinch!
It is impossible to steal this truck, you see, as it has been tied with a chain to a post. As if the only thing preventing cars from being stolen in the past was that they were not tied down to anything.
The sign here may say that there is a security dog on premises but that’s only because the sign store doesn’t sell warnings about security goats. You can try breaking into this place but the fierce looking goat will chase you away.
This is a police officer’s bike. Evidently, they forgot their bike lock and decided to use their handcuffs in an improvised fashion. Hopefully, they weren’t on their way to arrest anyone.
You can steal this bike seat if you want but the second you sit on it you are going to regret your actions. Someone had the ingenious idea of putting a mouse trap right where a bike thief would never want there to be a mouse trap.
Burglars will avoid homes that have signs up saying a security system is on the premises. Perhaps that was the idea behind this person putting an electric fence sign on what is clearly not an electric fence.
If there are no bike racks near where you want to park your bike sometimes you have to be creative. You should make sure that the things you tie your bike to are secured in place themselves, however. One would just need to lift up this sandwich board sign to steal the bike.
If you don’t have a lock and key then sometimes you have to improvise. This person has just drawn a lock and key on post-it notes and is hoping for the best.
This person has decided to put a lock around the gear shifter of their car. You could still steal the car, but your getaway drive will be rather clunky.
This is another example of why it’s important to fasten your lock in such a way that it cannot be easily removed. Someone could just slide the lock off of the metal post here and take off with the motor bike.
This is a box from Amazon someone opened up with a plunger inside. There are numerous plastic bags in there meant to keep the plunger safe through the mail but the way they were positioned hurts their effectiveness.
The owner of this doorless car has opted to just tie the steering wheel to a tree. You know what? We don’t think anyone was going to steal this car anyway.
This ATM illustrates what the economy was like in 2008, it was all held together by duct tape and a prayer. It feels as though ATMs should be a little bit more secure than this.
Sometimes you have to be creative with your personal protective equipment. this person noticed that his face was in danger so he has decided to protect it with a piece of newspaper. Way to go buddy, that should work out real fine for you.
As the movie Office Space has told us, staplers are the most frequently stolen item in the office. This stapler, however, has Liam Neeson plastered to the side of it explaining what he will do if someone steals it. This is a secure stapler.
There is nothing about the placement of the lock on this cupboard that will keep it closed or secured in any way. Perhaps the person just wanted to let everyone know that they would like to keep what is in their secure, even if they are physically incapable of doing so.
This sign, which takes up almost the entire bike lane, is instructing vehicles to give cyclists space. We are hoping that whoever placed this sign where they did has a strong sense of irony and had a very funny afternoon.
Here we see another useless gate. It almost seems like if you were to open that door and walk through it, you would pass into another dimension or travel through time.
This is another reminder that there are limitations to how you can lock a gate such as this. If someone can reach their hands through the bars, they can unlock whatever is on the other side.
54 Hilariously outrageous security fails that have actually happened
Ian Carey
01.14.21
Security is one area where you always want things to be done right. If they aren’t things can go sideways pretty quickly and, being that its security we’re talking about here, this means that a slip-up in routine could be pretty dangerous. Fortunately, though, some of them are bound to be pretty funny, too.
This article looks at 54 incidents of security being incredibly lax and, at best, misguided. The results are often quite hilarious, although they will fill you with worry about just how safe things are out there.
