There are a plethora of things that most of us do in our daily lives. Sometimes we don’t even recognize we’re doing them. From getting anxious over saying “here” when the teacher calls our names to having a full-on life crisis at 2 a.m., we all behave similarly.
There are over 7.6 billion people in the world today, so even if only 1% of the human population does the same thing as you, that means that you share this quality with another 76 million people. So what are some of these things that we as humans often do in this modern-day and age? Let’s find out.
Oh, the Joys of Living in a Hilly City
There’s truly nothing worse than spending ten minutes walking up a hill only to arrive at your final destination panting and sweating. Meanwhile, there are always those fortunate souls walking down the hill enjoying watching you suffer. At least you’re getting in some decent exercise, right?
May the Sleep Force Be With You
When it’s taken you a solid hour to fall asleep, but your bladder decides to do its thing… This is exactly what nightlights are for. You’ll be back in bed snoozing before you know it.
Then you go to change the password again, only to have the requirements: 12 characters minimum, 1 symbol, 1 capital letter, 1 number, 1 human sacrifice. It’s no wonder we can never log into our accounts. Let’s just get a reset link and start this clown show all over.
Ending a zoom call that could’ve been a simple email…
Interrupting your entire day to be available for a conference call where everyone just chatted about nonsense? Not a problem! It’s not like we had Netflix shows to binge or anything. It’s fine, we’re all fine here.
Full Concentration on the Parking Lot Ahead
Somehow our eyes no longer work when we’re jamming out to our maxed out speakers. Our human brains simply can’t handle this much stimulus at once. All of our concentration must go towards finding that one last available parking spot because if you snooze, you lose.
Innocent Until Proven Guilty or Guilty Until Proven Innocent?
That anxiety you get when walking out of stores has us feeling like the latter. No, sir, I did not do anything illegal, but this sweat forming on my brow would certainly say otherwise. Hopefully, nothing accidentally fell into our bags while checking out the new merch.
To anyone feeling like they’ve borderline lived the same exact day 365 times in a row, we’re right here with you. Who needs fresh air and jogging when you’ve got pizza and Netflix to keep you company? The outside world? We’re not quite sure what that even is anymore.
She’s Definitely Not the Only One
This is something we never even noticed we did. We’re just trying to check on gravity to make sure she’s still working. Yep, all is still working!
*cries as hand falls onto face*
Why on earth would we wait just a couple more minutes to enjoy our food at a somewhat normal temperature? No, we’re not changing our potentially self-damaging habits anytime soon. “Hashafashasha” is exactly what our pain sounds like, and we’re planning on keeping it that way.
Nothing’s Going to Happen, Right? *Proceeds to Knock on Wood*
It’s frightening just how much some of these childhood tales stay with us. We’re definitely not trying to step on a crack and break our mother’s back. As for tunnels, you know we’re still trying to hold our breath the entire way through.
A Rested Mind is a Better Mind, Right?
Weekends just aren’t enough, so is this really too much to ask? We promise to do our best work right after an additional eight-hour snooze. Our bosses won’t even realize we missed out on several meetings and tasks.
Secrets Don’t Make Friends, but Friends Make Secrets!
The tea is extra hot today. The best plan of action is definitely to keep your mouth shut. If everyone knows, then it’s no longer a secret, anyways.
That horrible moment when you finally get into bed after a long day of work, only to have your bladder start working in overdrive. Is a bit of sleep too much to ask for? If we sneak to the bathroom, maybe we won’t wake up our brains.
If we tackle a bunch of the little things on our to-do list then we deserve a break. It doesn’t even matter that those last two things will take a few hours each to accomplish because we’ve already knocked a few things off our lists! It’s time for a snack break to decompress.
Gotta Check 24 Times, Just to Be Sure
The fear that our phones may go off in the middle of a climactic scene is enough to make us check that it’s actually on silent a time or twenty. Even though it never leaves silent mode, we just can’t be too sure. We don’t want to be THAT person whose phone goes off.
Me in *Adulthood* Without Any Reason
I’ve just got to make sure it’s still working. Yep, all is still well. It’s holding power is still at 100%. Let’s just hope it doesn’t snap while I’m trying to talk.
As long as no limbs are hanging off in full exposure for the monster below the bed, all is well. Who needs pillows and proper sleeping positions when you can sleep like a cat and wake up as rested as ever. We’re willing to do whatever it takes to fall asleep in under two hours.
Is This Really What I Look Like?
It’s amazing how many small things about your appearance begin to bother you when you have to stare at yourself in a screen all day. I didn’t think my teeth were THAT crooked, but it may be time to take a visit to the local orthodontist. Oh wait, is my boss talking to me right now? Just act calm and nod…
The Pain of Having Roommates
As a young child, I felt like my brother had some sort of telepathy telling him that taking a shower right at this moment would cause maximum annoyance to the rest of the household. I mean I only waited in my room 1.5 hours beforehand, but how dare him! I was clearly about to take a shower.
Mama Didn’t Raise No Fool
The Boogeyman can’t get to us under this layer of 300 thread count sheets. It could be 100 degrees inside, but we can’t risk losing any toes or fingers in the middle of the night. If only the fan could work just a tiny bit better…
We’ve Got To Do Something To Get Through Commercial Breaks
Time isn’t going to tick on its own. By running our thumbs over each button on the remote, we’re ensuring time will pass quickly and effectively. It’s the ultimate pastime.
Yes, I Understood Every Word
I was totally listening, but could you just repeat that middle part? I want to ensure we’re on the same page. Yep, that’s exactly what I thought, too…
Just Because I’m Crying Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Working
I told you I could do it. Several tears may be shed in the process, but my words hold true. I am indeed out here working under pressure. Just don’t stare at me, or I may cry more…
Just Checking To Make Sure Those Two Sit-ups are Working
It’s safe to say that most of us are guilty of this. After one mediocre session at the gym, we just can’t understand why our abs don’t look like they’re made of steel yet. If we don’t have clear progress after the second day, then it’s time to quit.
But, Like, What Even Are Cookies?
I can’t be bothered to figure out exactly what they’re asking, so it’s always a race to the accept button. “You must sacrifice your right kidney.” ACCEPT!
When you’re only getting six hours of sleep per night those extra few minutes are crucial. It’s a good thing we have alarms going off every five minutes to hopefully pull our lazy selves out of bed. Those minutes are the difference between ordering the large coffee versus the extra-large.
*Proceeds to Chuckle for the Next Two Minutes Straight*
They say that a good laugh is a cure for most things. Well, it’s a good thing we have the humor of a 12-year-old because we need all the curing we can get. Pandemic living has added in a few extra stressors to the daily hustle.
We then proceed to spend several more hours looking at funny memes and videos… There’s never a good answer for this. At least someone else’s sleep schedule is massively screwed up, as well.
Oh, Geez, What Happened Now?
To all you Floridians out there, my condolences. The Florida Man jokes will never not be funny. Hopefully, your towns haven’t had too many specific stories come out of them.
It Be Like That Sometimes
If you aren’t using the word “lit” at least once in your daily vocabulary, you’re missing out. It describes so much by letting you say so little. “Oh, you won the lottery? Lit.”
Nemo, Is That You? I’ll Get You Out of There
We’re just trying to find Nemo and the gang. We also just want the best for our new fishy pals. They deserve copious amounts of food and endless water to swim in.
Just five more minutes! Then, I promise to get out of bed, do an hour of cardio, make breakfast, shower, and complete 42 assignments. It can’t be that hard, right?
Well, This Was Just No Help At All
*Looks at the definition* Why are you the way that you are? I understood nothing.
Releasing your inner gangster on the way to work is one way to ensure that your inner gangster doesn’t make an appearance at the office. Rap music can also be an excellent pump-up for the day ahead. Nothing lifts spirits higher than maxing the base at 7 a.m.
For people who can remember countless song lyrics and movie scenes, you’d think we’d at least remember what we were about to do. Hopefully, it wasn’t anything too important. The worst is when you spend 15 minutes looking for your glasses only to realize that they’ve been on your head the entire time.
Mario Kart, We’re Looking at You
You would think that as adults maybe we’ve gained some life skills to help in our childhood game conquests, but nope. We haven’t improved much. Maybe it’s time to try our luck on
Super Smash Bros.
It’s Still a Marathon, Though!
It’s just not the kind that involves running… Still, that kind of dedication should be admired. Getting through the emotional trauma of finishing your favorite show is hard enough. One more episode, please!
I Want It, and I Want It Now!
Shout out to Amazon for getting our packages to us within two days. We’re still waiting for the moment when we hit confirm payment and our package magically appears. 5-7 business days? It’s a no from me.
The Struggle is Even More Real When You’re Working From Home
It’s a good thing that video conferences don’t include smell. When you come out of your cave once a week for groceries, you can go days without physically seeing another living soul. If you have roommates, though, please do them a solid and take your daily shower. No one wants a stinky home.
The Same Goes for TV Shows
It’s no question that being put on the spot can make some people forget everything they’ve ever known. When someone asks “What do you do for fun?” you’d think I don’t even know what fun is. Fun? Never heard of her.
It’s Like Winning the Lottery, but Without the Money
Since we get so used to waking up at the same time every day, it’s a real treat to wake up and realize you get a few more hours to snooze. There’s nothing better than hitting the pillow and going back to sleep, but be careful. What feels like five minutes may actually be five hours.
*Proceeds to Hold Back Tears*
We can’t all have the same interests, but this feeling is one of the worse. Fine, I’ll just take my hard work elsewhere. Someone out there will be able to appreciate it, right?
Going to Great Lengths to Avoid a Simple Phone Call
The calls are never as bad as you imagined, but for some reason, it’s just too difficult to pluck up the courage to dial anyone. We’d rather waste an entire hour hitting every other mode of communication. We’ll stick to our Facebook messages, DMs, and texts, instead.
Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked
You know what they say, there’s no time like the present to get your life in order. Who cares if it’s 3 a.m. It’s time to break out the broom, daily planner, and learn seven new marketable skills.
Procrastination, Is That You?
As soon as the clock hits 7, our brains decide that it’s too late to begin any sort of project. Our efforts better wait until tomorrow when we have a clear head and a whole day in front of us. Now it’s time to relax because we’ve worked oh so hard today.
Does anyone else eat their food in order from least tasty to most tasty, or is it just me? Meals need to be a general progression of tasty goodness and not the other way around. Even if our tongues can’t remember that last bite, our minds definitely can.
That Moment When You’re Reading This and Realize Your Jaw is Tightly Clenched…
We felt this one on a spiritual level. More often than not our jaws are locked tight with tension. At least we can hope that we’re maybe building strong facial muscles.
Yes, I Understand! I’ll Do It Now. Thank You For Your Time!
Tone just doesn’t transfer well over written text. We want to ensure our bosses that we’re enthusiastic but professional without crossing the line over to sounding arrogant. We then proceed to rethink the entire email and contemplate starting over…
Continues to Play Entire the Song Again to Ensure Maximum Enjoyment
If you aren’t getting to fully jam out to your favorite part, then what’s the point? We may only truly enjoy a solid 15 seconds of the song, but you know that the entire four minutes is going to be replayed. We don’t care if we have to replay it ten times, we’re going to enjoy our favorite tune at all costs.
He’s Just As Surprised As You Are
Mom may have told him ten times what they were gifting everyone this year, but you know very well that he’s completely forgotten. The best part is that he gets to enjoy the surprise, too. Not all dads are like this, but it’s probably safe to say that a good chunk of them are.
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There are a plethora of things that most of us do in our daily lives. Sometimes we don’t even recognize we’re doing them. From getting anxious over saying “here” when the teacher calls our names to having a full-on life crisis at 2 a.m., we all behave similarly.
There are over 7.6 billion people in the world today, so even if only 1% of the human population does the same thing as you, that means that you share this quality with another 76 million people. So what are some of these things that we as humans often do in this modern-day and age? Let’s find out.
