There are a plethora of things that most of us do in our daily lives. Sometimes we donโt even recognize weโre doing them. From getting anxious over saying โhereโ when the teacher calls our names to having a full-on life crisis at 2 a.m., we all behave similarly.
There are over 7.6 billion people in the world today, so even if only 1% of the human population does the same thing as you, that means that you share this quality with another 76 million people. So what are some of these things that we as humans often do in this modern-day and age? Letโs find out.
Oh, the Joys of Living in a Hilly City
Thereโs truly nothing worse than spending ten minutes walking up a hill only to arrive at your final destination panting and sweating. Meanwhile, there are always those fortunate souls walking down the hill enjoying watching you suffer. At least youโre getting in some decent exercise, right?
May the Sleep Force Be With You
When itโs taken you a solid hour to fall asleep, but your bladder decides to do its thingโฆ This is exactly what nightlights are for. Youโll be back in bed snoozing before you know it.
Every. Single. Time
Then you go to change the password again, only to have the requirements: 12 characters minimum, 1 symbol, 1 capital letter, 1 number, 1 human sacrifice. Itโs no wonder we can never log into our accounts. Letโs just get a reset link and start this clown show all over.
Ending a zoom call that couldโve been a simple emailโฆ
Interrupting your entire day to be available for a conference call where everyone just chatted about nonsense? Not a problem! Itโs not like we had Netflix shows to binge or anything. Itโs fine, weโre all fine here.
Full Concentration on the Parking Lot Ahead
Somehow our eyes no longer work when weโre jamming out to our maxed out speakers. Our human brains simply canโt handle this much stimulus at once. All of our concentration must go towards finding that one last available parking spot because if you snooze, you lose.
Innocent Until Proven Guilty or Guilty Until Proven Innocent?
That anxiety you get when walking out of stores has us feeling like the latter. No, sir, I did not do anything illegal, but this sweat forming on my brow would certainly say otherwise. Hopefully, nothing accidentally fell into our bags while checking out the new merch.
Quarantine, Is That You?
To anyone feeling like theyโve borderline lived the same exact day 365 times in a row, weโre right here with you. Who needs fresh air and jogging when youโve got pizza and Netflix to keep you company? The outside world? Weโre not quite sure what that even is anymore.
Sheโs Definitely Not the Only One
This is something we never even noticed we did. Weโre just trying to check on gravity to make sure sheโs still working. Yep, all is still working! *cries as hand falls onto face*
Definitely the Latterโฆ
Why on earth would we wait just a couple more minutes to enjoy our food at a somewhat normal temperature? No, weโre not changing our potentially self-damaging habits anytime soon. โHashafashashaโ is exactly what our pain sounds like, and weโre planning on keeping it that way.
Nothingโs Going to Happen, Right? *Proceeds to Knock on Wood*
Itโs frightening just how much some of these childhood tales stay with us. Weโre definitely not trying to step on a crack and break our motherโs back. As for tunnels, you know weโre still trying to hold our breath the entire way through.
A Rested Mind is a Better Mind, Right?
Weekends just arenโt enough, so is this really too much to ask? We promise to do our best work right after an additional eight-hour snooze. Our bosses wonโt even realize we missed out on several meetings and tasks.
Secrets Donโt Make Friends, but Friends Make Secrets!
The tea is extra hot today. The best plan of action is definitely to keep your mouth shut. If everyone knows, then itโs no longer a secret, anyways.
Yep, Every Night.
That horrible moment when you finally get into bed after a long day of work, only to have your bladder start working in overdrive. Is a bit of sleep too much to ask for? If we sneak to the bathroom, maybe we wonโt wake up our brains.
Itโs Called Balance
If we tackle a bunch of the little things on our to-do list then we deserve a break. It doesnโt even matter that those last two things will take a few hours each to accomplish because weโve already knocked a few things off our lists! Itโs time for a snack break to decompress.
Gotta Check 24 Times, Just to Be Sure
The fear that our phones may go off in the middle of a climactic scene is enough to make us check that itโs actually on silent a time or twenty. Even though it never leaves silent mode, we just canโt be too sure. We donโt want to be THAT person whose phone goes off.
Me in *Adulthood* Without Any Reason
Iโve just got to make sure itโs still working. Yep, all is still well. Itโs holding power is still at 100%. Letโs just hope it doesnโt snap while Iโm trying to talk.
Human or Cat?
As long as no limbs are hanging off in full exposure for the monster below the bed, all is well. Who needs pillows and proper sleeping positions when you can sleep like a cat and wake up as rested as ever. Weโre willing to do whatever it takes to fall asleep in under two hours.
Is This Really What I Look Like?
Itโs amazing how many small things about your appearance begin to bother you when you have to stare at yourself in a screen all day. I didnโt think my teeth were THAT crooked, but it may be time to take a visit to the local orthodontist. Oh wait, is my boss talking to me right now? Just act calm and nodโฆ
The Pain of Having Roommates
As a young child, I felt like my brother had some sort of telepathy telling him that taking a shower right at this moment would cause maximum annoyance to the rest of the household. I mean I only waited in my room 1.5 hours beforehand, but how dare him! I was clearly about to take a shower.
Mama Didnโt Raise No Fool
The Boogeyman canโt get to us under this layer of 300 thread count sheets. It could be 100 degrees inside, but we canโt risk losing any toes or fingers in the middle of the night. If only the fan could work just a tiny bit betterโฆ
Weโve Got To Do Something To Get Through Commercial Breaks
Time isnโt going to tick on its own. By running our thumbs over each button on the remote, weโre ensuring time will pass quickly and effectively. Itโs the ultimate pastime.
Yes, I Understood Every Word
I was totally listening, but could you just repeat that middle part? I want to ensure weโre on the same page. Yep, thatโs exactly what I thought, tooโฆ
Just Because Iโm Crying Doesnโt Mean Iโm Not Working
I told you I could do it. Several tears may be shed in the process, but my words hold true. I am indeed out here working under pressure. Just donโt stare at me, or I may cry moreโฆ
Just Checking To Make Sure Those Two Sit-ups are Working
Itโs safe to say that most of us are guilty of this. After one mediocre session at the gym, we just canโt understand why our abs donโt look like theyโre made of steel yet. If we donโt have clear progress after the second day, then itโs time to quit.
But, Like, What Even Are Cookies?
I canโt be bothered to figure out exactly what theyโre asking, so itโs always a race to the accept button. โYou must sacrifice your right kidney.โ ACCEPT!
Every Minute Counts
When youโre only getting six hours of sleep per night those extra few minutes are crucial. Itโs a good thing we have alarms going off every five minutes to hopefully pull our lazy selves out of bed. Those minutes are the difference between ordering the large coffee versus the extra-large.
*Proceeds to Chuckle for the Next Two Minutes Straight*
They say that a good laugh is a cure for most things. Well, itโs a good thing we have the humor of a 12-year-old because we need all the curing we can get. Pandemic living has added in a few extra stressors to the daily hustle.
โNopeโ
We then proceed to spend several more hours looking at funny memes and videosโฆ Thereโs never a good answer for this. At least someone elseโs sleep schedule is massively screwed up, as well.
Oh, Geez, What Happened Now?
To all you Floridians out there, my condolences. The Florida Man jokes will never not be funny. Hopefully, your towns havenโt had too many specific stories come out of them.
It Be Like That Sometimes
If you arenโt using the word โlitโ at least once in your daily vocabulary, youโre missing out. It describes so much by letting you say so little. โOh, you won the lottery? Lit.โ
Nemo, Is That You? Iโll Get You Out of There
Weโre just trying to find Nemo and the gang. We also just want the best for our new fishy pals. They deserve copious amounts of food and endless water to swim in.
The Daily Struggle
Just five more minutes! Then, I promise to get out of bed, do an hour of cardio, make breakfast, shower, and complete 42 assignments. It canโt be that hard, right?
Well, This Was Just No Help At All
*Looks at the definition* Why are you the way that you are? I understood nothing.
No One Has to Know
Releasing your inner gangster on the way to work is one way to ensure that your inner gangster doesnโt make an appearance at the office. Rap music can also be an excellent pump-up for the day ahead. Nothing lifts spirits higher than maxing the base at 7 a.m.
Glad Itโs Not Just Me
For people who can remember countless song lyrics and movie scenes, youโd think weโd at least remember what we were about to do. Hopefully, it wasnโt anything too important. The worst is when you spend 15 minutes looking for your glasses only to realize that theyโve been on your head the entire time.
Mario Kart, Weโre Looking at You
You would think that as adults maybe weโve gained some life skills to help in our childhood game conquests, but nope. We havenโt improved much. Maybe itโs time to try our luck on Super Smash Bros.
Itโs Still a Marathon, Though!
Itโs just not the kind that involves runningโฆ Still, that kind of dedication should be admired. Getting through the emotional trauma of finishing your favorite show is hard enough. One more episode, please!
I Want It, and I Want It Now!
Shout out to Amazon for getting our packages to us within two days. Weโre still waiting for the moment when we hit confirm payment and our package magically appears. 5-7 business days? Itโs a no from me.
The Struggle is Even More Real When Youโre Working From Home
Itโs a good thing that video conferences donโt include smell. When you come out of your cave once a week for groceries, you can go days without physically seeing another living soul. If you have roommates, though, please do them a solid and take your daily shower. No one wants a stinky home.
The Same Goes for TV Shows
Itโs no question that being put on the spot can make some people forget everything theyโve ever known. When someone asks โWhat do you do for fun?โ youโd think I donโt even know what fun is. Fun? Never heard of her.
Itโs Like Winning the Lottery, but Without the Money
Since we get so used to waking up at the same time every day, itโs a real treat to wake up and realize you get a few more hours to snooze. Thereโs nothing better than hitting the pillow and going back to sleep, but be careful. What feels like five minutes may actually be five hours.
*Proceeds to Hold Back Tears*
We canโt all have the same interests, but this feeling is one of the worse. Fine, Iโll just take my hard work elsewhere. Someone out there will be able to appreciate it, right?
Going to Great Lengths to Avoid a Simple Phone Call
The calls are never as bad as you imagined, but for some reason, itโs just too difficult to pluck up the courage to dial anyone. Weโd rather waste an entire hour hitting every other mode of communication. Weโll stick to our Facebook messages, DMs, and texts, instead.
Ainโt No Rest for the Wicked
You know what they say, thereโs no time like the present to get your life in order. Who cares if itโs 3 a.m. Itโs time to break out the broom, daily planner, and learn seven new marketable skills.
Procrastination, Is That You?
As soon as the clock hits 7, our brains decide that itโs too late to begin any sort of project. Our efforts better wait until tomorrow when we have a clear head and a whole day in front of us. Now itโs time to relax because weโve worked oh so hard today.
Saving the Best for Last
Does anyone else eat their food in order from least tasty to most tasty, or is it just me? Meals need to be a general progression of tasty goodness and not the other way around. Even if our tongues canโt remember that last bite, our minds definitely can.
That Moment When Youโre Reading This and Realize Your Jaw is Tightly Clenchedโฆ
We felt this one on a spiritual level. More often than not our jaws are locked tight with tension. At least we can hope that weโre maybe building strong facial muscles.
Yes, I Understand! Iโll Do It Now. Thank You For Your Time!
Tone just doesnโt transfer well over written text. We want to ensure our bosses that weโre enthusiastic but professional without crossing the line over to sounding arrogant. We then proceed to rethink the entire email and contemplate starting overโฆ
Continues to Play Entire the Song Again to Ensure Maximum Enjoyment
If you arenโt getting to fully jam out to your favorite part, then whatโs the point? We may only truly enjoy a solid 15 seconds of the song, but you know that the entire four minutes is going to be replayed. We donโt care if we have to replay it ten times, weโre going to enjoy our favorite tune at all costs.
Heโs Just As Surprised As You Are
Mom may have told him ten times what they were gifting everyone this year, but you know very well that heโs completely forgotten. The best part is that he gets to enjoy the surprise, too. Not all dads are like this, but itโs probably safe to say that a good chunk of them are.
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