50 hilarious kids with no filter

Anyone with children knows that kids really do say the darndest things. That TV show wasn’t kidding. Kids have no filter.

They just say whatever comes to mind. It usually results in a dose of brutal honesty. And that can be a mixed bag for their parents.

They can get a real good laugh out of it. Or some serious embarrassment. Late-night talk show host Jimmy Fallon asked people to weigh in on some of the funniest things they’ve heard kids say and it did not disappoint.

Here are 50 of the funniest things people have heard kids say:

1) Hard Poop

This kid is smart already. They already know the value of a good poop. One that won’t cause you to sit on the john wiping all day.

2) The Action

Awww, this kid wants to get in on the hug action. He needs a hug from auntie. Who doesn’t?

3) Easter Sunday

One of the beautiful things about kids is their honesty. And honesty should be rewarded. But that’s probably not going to happen here.

4) So High

Carbs, kid. It’s called carbs. That’s how you make the scale go so high.

5) I’d Rather Be Weird

This kid is ahead of her time. She knows not to allow others to form her opinion about herself. The only person who can do that is her.

6) They Hurt You

Good Lord, this is hilarious. He was warning the other children. Those poor other children must have been terrified.

7) Sleep Outside

And this kid was probably totally serious. She probably had no idea whatsoever why asking her mom to sleep outside would be appropriate. She wants that cat… it seems totally logical.

8) Little Guy

This little kid thought giving his pee pee a pep talk might help. It didn’t. But it gave his mom a laugh.

9) Tentacles

Some people believe that schools need to do a better job with teaching sex education. Some kids just don’t get all the information. Like this kid who thinks boys have tentacles.

10) Being Mean

Aww, what a sweet little girl. She’s looking out for her classmates. Making sure no one is messing with him.

11) Make You Beautiful

This is a tough break on mom. But at least she knows her kid is honest. And he might not be wrong.

12) Carbonated

This is actually pretty accurate. When your foot falls asleep it does feel like it’s carbonated. That pins and needles feeling kind of feels like tiny popping bubbles.

13) No Bums In Public

This dad sure does give some good life advice. You should never show your bum in public. No matter how old you are.

14) Doing Yoga

What that kid heard was not yoga. At least she won’t be traumatized. Too bad for her big brother though.

15) Never

Shredded cheese… can you ever really have enough? I think not. This kid gets it.

16) Dark and Stormy

That’s great that this kid can identify her feelings. And then express those feelings through her clothing choices. It’s also hilarious.

17) Coloring

Coloring should be a sport. It takes a lot of talent to draw in between those lines. And to take a black and white outline and make it your own.

18) Falling Down the Stairs

I think falling down the stairs could only be fun if someone asked you this question. Because then you have to laugh at yourself. In theory…

19) Toy Bath

There’s nothing like taking a toy bath. If you’re a kid. If you’re not, then a real bath is definitely better than a toy bath.

20) Viagra

Vitamins make you grow right? So, technically Viagra can be a vitamin right? It makes your thingy grow.

21) Feet Traps

This kid is on to something. Now that I think of it, shoes are just feet traps. I want my feet to be freeeee!

22) Neck Elbow

Oh my gosh! An Adam’s apples DOES look like an elbow. How observant!

23) Can’t Even Cook

I love how this kid isn’t concerned about her family dying. She’s more concerned about what she’s going to be eating when they’re gone. That’s because she can’t even cook!

24) Not With That Attitude

You can tell this kid is going to go far in life. She already knows that the key to success is having a good attitude. Especially when it comes to catching real life Pokémon.

25) Keeping Him

This kid didn’t think his parents were serious about the new baby. She thought it was just a fluke. Instead, he was forever.

26) Ladies

This kid is already a Casanova. He knows how to make the ladies come running. I wonder where he heard that from.

27) Boot Love

That’s one way to spin it. This kid might have a future as a lawyer. Or a PR person.

28) ATM

The ATM would only be fun if it gave you free money. But when you’re older you appreciate having access to your money that is secured in a bank at all times. They aren’t iPad level fun though.

29) GameGirl

This is actually a totally valid question. I’m sure they had a pink one. They could have called it a GameGirl.

30) Butt Crack

Newsflash kid. Your butt always had a crack in it. Where do you think you’ve been pooping from?

31) The Shade

This kid is ruthless. And the worst part is, he wasn’t making a joke. His shade is real.

32) Friend Dad

It’s nice when your kid can think of you as a parent and a friend. This kid is only 2 and he gets it. His friend’s name is dad.

33) Epic

When kids are little it’s fun to hear them talk. That’s because they say things that sound like curse words but aren’t curse words. Like “effit.”

34) Brainhole

I feel like a brainhole would be the ear. Or maybe the nose. I guess the mouth could be a brainhole too.

35) Crosswalk

Jesus did not die on a crosswalk. He died on a cross. She was close though.

36) Cuddle Up

This should totally be a thing. All teams should have a cuddle up. I bet they’d win more games that way.

37) Joe

Kids like to anthropomorphize things and give them names. But I’ve never heard of a kid naming their teeth. You have to be pretty darn creative to name your teeth.

38) Gun Smile

What the heck does this even mean. Probably just your standard kid nonsense. I love it.