Anyone with children knows that kids really do say the darndest things. That TV show wasnโt kidding. Kids have no filter.
They just say whatever comes to mind. It usually results in a dose of brutal honesty. And that can be a mixed bag for their parents.
They can get a real good laugh out of it. Or some serious embarrassment. Late-night talk show host Jimmy Fallon asked people to weigh in on some of the funniest things theyโve heard kids say and it did not disappoint.
Here are 50 of the funniest things people have heard kids say:
Source:
jimmyfallon
1) Hard Poop
This kid is smart already. They already know the value of a good poop. One that wonโt cause you to sit on the john wiping all day.
Source:
kyle8it
2) The Action
Awww, this kid wants to get in on the hug action. He needs a hug from auntie. Who doesnโt?
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10ChelseaDagger
3) Easter Sunday
One of the beautiful things about kids is their honesty. And honesty should be rewarded. But thatโs probably not going to happen here.
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3langboys
4) So High
Carbs, kid. Itโs called carbs. Thatโs how you make the scale go so high.
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babyduckyyoongi
5) Iโd Rather Be Weird
This kid is ahead of her time. She knows not to allow others to form her opinion about herself. The only person who can do that is her.
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melodylynn1080
6) They Hurt You
Good Lord, this is hilarious. He was warning the other children. Those poor other children must have been terrified.
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coachjdjones
7) Sleep Outside
And this kid was probably totally serious. She probably had no idea whatsoever why asking her mom to sleep outside would be appropriate. She wants that catโฆ it seems totally logical.
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dhygiene21
8) Little Guy
This little kid thought giving his pee pee a pep talk might help. It didnโt. But it gave his mom a laugh.
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nicoled531
9) Tentacles
Some people believe that schools need to do a better job with teaching sex education. Some kids just donโt get all the information. Like this kid who thinks boys have tentacles.
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keithbristol
10) Being Mean
Aww, what a sweet little girl. Sheโs looking out for her classmates. Making sure no one is messing with him.
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MrsMiracleDSHS
11) Make You Beautiful
This is a tough break on mom. But at least she knows her kid is honest. And he might not be wrong.
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Rachel77261245
12) Carbonated
This is actually pretty accurate. When your foot falls asleep it does feel like itโs carbonated. That pins and needles feeling kind of feels like tiny popping bubbles.
13) No Bums In Public
This dad sure does give some good life advice. You should never show your bum in public. No matter how old you are.
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TwinDadCanada
14) Doing Yoga
What that kid heard was not yoga. At least she wonโt be traumatized. Too bad for her big brother though.
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Tre_Hayes9
15) Never
Shredded cheeseโฆ can you ever really have enough? I think not. This kid gets it.
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gnsmith7
16) Dark and Stormy
Thatโs great that this kid can identify her feelings. And then express those feelings through her clothing choices. Itโs also hilarious.
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Agliss1
17) Coloring
Coloring should be a sport. It takes a lot of talent to draw in between those lines. And to take a black and white outline and make it your own.
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sparkley_donut
18) Falling Down the Stairs
I think falling down the stairs could only be fun if someone asked you this question. Because then you have to laugh at yourself. In theoryโฆ
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keek86
19) Toy Bath
Thereโs nothing like taking a toy bath. If youโre a kid. If youโre not, then a real bath is definitely better than a toy bath.
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Agliss1
20) Viagra
Vitamins make you grow right? So, technically Viagra can be a vitamin right? It makes your thingy grow.
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MeredithAEllis
21) Feet Traps
This kid is on to something. Now that I think of it, shoes are just feet traps. I want my feet to be freeeee!
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Lhlodder
22) Neck Elbow
Oh my gosh! An Adamโs apples DOES look like an elbow. How observant!
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bindilouwho
23) Canโt Even Cook
I love how this kid isnโt concerned about her family dying. Sheโs more concerned about what sheโs going to be eating when theyโre gone. Thatโs because she canโt even cook!
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ejp72
24) Not With That Attitude
You can tell this kid is going to go far in life. She already knows that the key to success is having a good attitude. Especially when it comes to catching real life Pokรฉmon.
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TheLezAgenda
25) Keeping Him
This kid didnโt think his parents were serious about the new baby. She thought it was just a fluke. Instead, he was forever.
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NockNockWhoDis
26) Ladies
This kid is already a Casanova. He knows how to make the ladies come running. I wonder where he heard that from.
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CristyVanNest
27) Boot Love
Thatโs one way to spin it. This kid might have a future as a lawyer. Or a PR person.
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gxbbybrxcho
28) ATM
The ATM would only be fun if it gave you free money. But when youโre older you appreciate having access to your money that is secured in a bank at all times. They arenโt iPad level fun though.
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caylamasters
29) GameGirl
This is actually a totally valid question. Iโm sure they had a pink one. They could have called it a GameGirl.
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raflocruz99
30) Butt Crack
Newsflash kid. Your butt always had a crack in it. Where do you think youโve been pooping from?
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VividWallflower
31) The Shade
This kid is ruthless. And the worst part is, he wasnโt making a joke. His shade is real.
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xstephxoxox
32) Friend Dad
Itโs nice when your kid can think of you as a parent and a friend. This kid is only 2 and he gets it. His friendโs name is dad.
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TylerHughs
33) Epic
When kids are little itโs fun to hear them talk. Thatโs because they say things that sound like curse words but arenโt curse words. Like โeffit.โ
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jimmyfallon
34) Brainhole
I feel like a brainhole would be the ear. Or maybe the nose. I guess the mouth could be a brainhole too.
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txasflood
35) Crosswalk
Jesus did not die on a crosswalk. He died on a cross. She was close though.
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dave_espin
36) Cuddle Up
This should totally be a thing. All teams should have a cuddle up. I bet theyโd win more games that way.
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AdaKirschner
37) Joe
Kids like to anthropomorphize things and give them names. But Iโve never heard of a kid naming their teeth. You have to be pretty darn creative to name your teeth.
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amnda_vera
38) Gun Smile
What the heck does this even mean. Probably just your standard kid nonsense. I love it.
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Corinnee96
39) Noise
Usually itโs the parents saying this kind of thing to their kids. But here itโs the other way around. His singing must be pretty bad.
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_Steinzilla_
40) Loophole
This is another kid who is going to go far in life. He knows how to work loopholes. He figured out the Chuckie Cheese loophole.
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DanBroekhuizen
41) Mickey
This kid wants to know the truth about Mickey Mouse. And heโs not playing around. Heโs going to be serving up punches if not one fesses up.
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CHELS327
42) Crying Cookie
Apparently, this kid never heard the expression โtough cookie.โ He just knows one thing. Heโs a crying cookie.
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Stephanie_Noyes
43) Off My Plate
What could a 3-year-old possibly have to get off his plate. Besides his uneaten vegetables. I guess this kid just has stuff going on.
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edh717
44) O.J.
This must have happened in the 90s. How else would a little kid even now who O.J. Simpson is these days. Itโs a pretty outdated reference.
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TahaunyLinnae
45) You Are the Best
She obviously meant โbest.โ Or did she? This could be an insult love note.
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Agliss1
46) Getting Fat
Thatโs pretty harsh. But itโs probably true. Kids donโt lie.
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AshtonFoster_88
47) Hiya, Cowboy
I bet the officer kind of did look like a cowboy to the little kid. But hearing that come out of a kidโs mouth must have been pretty hilarious. Sounds like a confident kid.
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amy_casner
48) Fancy Stuff
I wonder what fancy stuff in the mirror consists of. Maybe curtseying? Royal waving?
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RyanBartholomrr
49) Shots
Is this supposed to be some sort of guilt trip? Like maybe if he tells her that, sheโll feel bad and never take him to the doctor again. Fat chanc.e
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twillight23
50) Waffle Woman
How did she decide that this woman walking her to the bathroom was sticky? I mean, if youโre stick AND you smell life wafflesโฆ people had better be calling you a waffle. Who wouldnโt want to be a waffle?
Source:
ndklump
