50 of the most hilarious excuses people have made up to call out sick to work

https://twitter.com/Shiloskie/status/1224713583076036614

1) Dirty Shopping

I mean, you can’t go to work dirty. And you’ll know your feet are dirty. They aren’t legally allowed to ask you why you were barefoot… right?

2) Too Scared

I mean, look at those pants. I’d be scared to put on those pants. They look horrifying.

Too scared to put on your pants #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/mJJNdpAmSa

— Big Waldizzle😎 (@DaLittleBigBruh) February 4, 2020

3) A Woof One

This dog has had it. He’s calling out sick. It’s been a woof one.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick it's been a woof one pic.twitter.com/pjOOtkAQZG

— Athena (@Athena08208976) February 4, 2020

4) More Believable

I guess? If anything it means you’re ballsy. And if you’re that ballsy, then you deserve those days off.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick because I called out yesterday, 2 days is more believable

— Ladyfish🦈 (@Ladyfish666) February 4, 2020

5) Lego to the Foot

A Lego to the foot is a legitimate call out of work excuse. Those things can really hurt you. A Lego to the foot will mess you up.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick to see if I can catch the Legos . . . pic.twitter.com/jVJdj0LMrr

— Lisa Champney (@ChampneyLisa) February 4, 2020

6) Keto Belly

You should definitely not wait for 11 days to call out sick if you haven’t pooped. You should probably have called the hospital first. It’s a serious thing after just a few days, 11 is insane.

I haven't pooped in 11 days thanks to #Keto #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/yuwcgAy9Vr

— Unsolicited Ⓥ Banter (@GrampaYour) February 4, 2020

7) My Cat Looks Too Cute To Move

It’s not even a fear of being judged by your cat. It’s just they are too cute and happy. How can you ruin that?

Cat fell asleep on me and now I can’t move in fear of being judged by it. #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick

— Schwartz Trainee Michael (@Sckswithsandals) February 4, 2020

8) Vibe Up

This is basically the reason of all reasons for calling out sick. It will kill your vibe. And there are so many other things you could be doing than having your vibe killed.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick It will kill my vibe if I come in…. pic.twitter.com/XSDSfVymtl

— Mr. Therapissed (@Ric_Rattlehead) February 4, 2020

9) Everyone Else Is Sick

If everyone else is sick, you could get sick. So might as well stay home so you don’t get sick? Right?

Because everyone else is sick and I don’t want their damn germs #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick

— Ms. Dreamer Royale ✨ (@MsDreamerRoyale) February 4, 2020

10) No Left Turns

Left turns are hard. Sometimes it’s just too much. You’ll just have to call in sick.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick well, i was driving to work but i couldn't turn left into the parking lot. I'm alright though

— Kerhoff12 (@kerhoff12) February 4, 2020

11) Deer Birth

This apparently was a legitimate reason someone gave. Where the heck do these people live. That’s quite the phone call to make or email to send.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick There's a doe giving birth on top of my car, and a horde of deer surrounding it

(Happened once to my dad, seriously wish we got pictures)

— 🖇️The Borealis System: f, Roman (@01001100Sanders) February 4, 2020

12) The Truth

This is probably in the top five or 10 reasons people actually call out from work. I guess the truth would be nice once in a while. I mean, if you have the balls to admit this you deserve the damn day off.

13) My Shit

Do you think dogs ever get sick of your shit? I can’t imagine this. But maybe an emotional support animal might.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick my emotional support animal doesn't feel like putting up with my shit today…. pic.twitter.com/oSfnLm1F6n

— Mr. Therapissed (@Ric_Rattlehead) February 4, 2020

14) Seafood Disco

Seafood disco? That sounds like a lot of fun. I’d definitely go to one of those.

I went to the seafood disco and ended up pulling a mussel #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick

— Qu'ici – King Of Cheesepumps 🧀 👑 🧀 (@Quizical123) February 4, 2020

15) Jaba the Purse

That purse looks like Jaba the Hut. And it’s find of freaky. Too freaky to have to touch and go work with.

My purse keeps telling me to bring it Han Solo. I'm scared of it. #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/I1fCvIaOit

— Kristen Whitworth (@vespervega) February 4, 2020

16) Grounded

What mom says goes. There’s no way around that. Sorry boss, mamma said.

https://twitter.com/Shiloskie/status/1224713583076036614

17) Held Hostage

Weighted blankets are special devices. They keep you nice and cozy. Sometimes too nice and cozy.

My weighted blanket is holding me hostage #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/1DMHX1WqRz

— cheers y’all (@1partVodka) February 4, 2020

18) I Can’t See

This is a clever one. Your eyes hurt too much. You can’t go to work if you can’t see.

My eyes hurt. I can’t see myself coming in today. #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick

— Schwartz Trainee Michael (@Sckswithsandals) February 4, 2020

19) The Lord

When the Lord gives you a sign, you follow it. Or at least that’s what you’re supposed to do. Right?

20) I Told You So

You told your coworkers you weren’t feeling well. Then you hit them with the sick day. Just to prove yourself right.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick
To be proved correct. pic.twitter.com/13jzR8bsbt

— Mouth of Sauron (@JanChiLing2) February 4, 2020

21) Cool Funeral

I mean, that’s a sentence that will leave people speechless. So, many questions. Who is even going to go there to protest that day off?

22) Mysterious Illness

It’s the strangest thing. It lasts from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. After that, I’m fine. Doesn’t bother me on the weekends.

I’ve come down with a mysterious illness that only effects me during working hours #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick

— Schwartz Trainee Michael (@Sckswithsandals) February 4, 2020

23) Do You Miss Me?

This is a funny one. I like it. They say absense makes the heart grow fonder.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick
To make my boss miss and appreciate me

— Ellë P✨ (@realellep) February 4, 2020

24) Nostril Plugs

This is just a long way of saying you have a cold. And that you’re congested. And technically that’s a legitimate call out sick reason.

https://twitter.com/pooblemoo/status/1224713499361906691

25) Picked Up A Hitchhiker

You’re going to need a little more explanation with this excuse. Did they murder you? Are they just too cute for you to abandon now?

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick
Picked up a hitchhiker. pic.twitter.com/YklbBQYSAe

— Lisa Champney (@ChampneyLisa) February 4, 2020

26) Banana Fort

I also love this one. Who wouldn’t want to sit in a banana fort all day and sell bananas. I mean, how can you dny that request?

27) Sim Side Chick

How can you leave the house with all that drama going on? I mean, that’s a show you need to watch. That’s something that can’tbe put off.

My sim is getting married today and her fiances side chick just showed up.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/hHsa9gVFas

— Havana (@HavanaSims) February 4, 2020

28) Nothing to ear

Here’s another reason that SHOULD be a reasonable excuse to call otu of work. Sometimes you just can’t find what you want to wear. And that can ruin your whole day.

You have nothing to wear #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/UOZgCpwlzA

— ᎷᏚ. ᎡᎬᎠᎠᏚ ❤️🛋 (@loret826) February 4, 2020

29) Smells Good

This is disturbing. But I guess it could be the case if you’re using Poo-Pourri. Can’t blame them for trying.

Just pooped and it smells too good #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick

— ~Pourri (@PooPourri) February 4, 2020

30) Magic 8 Ball Says…

Sorry, boss… the Magic 8 Ball doesn’t think it’s such a good idea. So, can’t come in. You wouldln’t want me to go against the Magic 8 Ball would you.

https://twitter.com/KevinIsCrusty/status/1224715385548623872

31) The Dishes

Damn, these people actually have a dishwasher too. Dishes can pile up easily. And before you know it, your kitchen looks like this and you can’t go to work now.

https://twitter.com/BeckyKillinit/status/1224710314064797696

32) Horse

Feeling a little horse? Maybe you should call out of work. Then go play with a smiling horse.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick… I was "feeling a little horse" pic.twitter.com/l4NLlp6LUr

— Horse&Rider (@Horse_and_Rider) February 4, 2020

33) Fusilli Jerry

You could seriously hurt yourself if you slip, trip, accidently fall on Fusilli Jerry. It depends on the way you call on Fusilli Jerry. It could be hard and pointy and do a lot of damage.

Slipped, tripped, and accidentally sat on Fusilli Jerry!#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/T1PJOnCndn

— ℂ𝕙𝕖𝕪𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕖 🌹 (@TheSeaRose) February 4, 2020

34) McDonald’s Boyfriend

What is a McDonald’s boyfriend? The guy boyfriend you eat McDonald’s with? Or the guy you work at McDonald’s with?

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick
I cheated on my work boyfriend with my McDonald's boyfriend and he knows.. pic.twitter.com/s3aOVJxIjy

— Ellë P✨ (@realellep) February 4, 2020

35) New Coke

New Coke is pretty mind blowing. How are you supposed to go to work with your mind blown like that? You can’t.

I’m still sick from drinking the New Coke back in 1985 #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick #80s pic.twitter.com/HFMhaaYeAx

— David Eighties (@DavidEighties) February 4, 2020

36) Bit My Tongue

Biting your tongue can sometimes be very painful. And if you bite it hard enough, it could be a good reason to stay home. This cute pup thinks so.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick
It's tongue out Tuesday, and I bit my tongue. pic.twitter.com/7SFgQJJ1Iy

— Lisa Champney (@ChampneyLisa) February 4, 2020

37) Cat Gangbang

There are two reasons that this is a good call out of work excuse. The first is that you’ve witnessed a traumatic experience and you can’t come in because you’re too shaken up. The second is that how are you going to drive with a gang bang of cars on the hood of your car.

https://twitter.com/friendlymayhem/status/1224761659975184384

38) Man’s Problems

Sorry boss, I’ve got a mangina. And man problems. This is hilarious.

https://twitter.com/AngryPeanut4/status/1224713612738080768

39) Feet Pics

Wow… that’s bold. First you’re coming clean about your feet picture selling business. But you’re also telling them you need a day off so you can eventually quit.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick

Needed more time to sell pictures of my feet to quit my day job

— FeetFinder.com (@FeetFinder) February 4, 2020

40) Lonely Cat

No one wants their cat to be lonely. That would be sad. Guess you have to stay home.

My cat is lonely #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick

— Claudette Dawn💫 (@GoodyearSteel) February 4, 2020

41) Rest in Peanut

You should get days off to grieve. Especially for the original Mr. Peanut. He was an incredible man.

#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick

Still mourning the death of the original #MrPeanut pic.twitter.com/P8OCG43UMg

— Joel Shulkin, MD MPH (@drjoelshulkin) February 4, 2020

42) Twitteritus

This would probably be an acceptable call out sick excuse. That’s because it sounds like a regular disease and it’s probably illegal for an employer to ask about your health condition. So, they’d just let it go.

I've got twitteritus #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick

— Qu'ici – King Of Cheesepumps 🧀 👑 🧀 (@Quizical123) February 4, 2020

43) Plan a Vacation

Vacations do take time to plan. You probably need a whole day to do it. A whole work day.

Need time to plan my vacation #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick

— 🍷Trudy B on hiatus (@trudytalk) February 4, 2020

44) Lost My Car

Large parking lots, cities that look the same. You will probably lose your car at lease once. Usually you find it.

So I lost my car during the holidays and no one believed me 🥺#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/xuRncCcw53

— nina mae (@ohmaenina) February 4, 2020

45) Mystery Solving

So, does this mean they were too afraid to go outside? Or that they are allergic to mystery solving? Well, teenage mystery solving?

A group of meddling kids and their dog are chasing some pan flute playing Mayan ghost demon around my cul-de-sac… #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/OrUtOAknye

— Bradford N. Smith (@hireBRADFORD) February 4, 2020

46) Tan Lines

Well, you can’t call into work for looking crazy. So, you might as well try to get someone to cover your shift. Or else you just have to go in looking crazy.

A girl at work once asked me to cover her shift because she had tan lines from her sunglasses after laying out all day. 😂#StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/OJrEbBhmVj

— LaLa⚘ (@leah7688) February 4, 2020

47) Shower Spider

Ugh, shower spiders are the worst. Seeing a spider in the shower is a truly traumatic experience. Expecially if you’ve already gotten into the shower with it.

48) The House Won’t Let Me

This is the equivalent of saying that your house won’t let you. Your house won’t let you leave the house. It won’t let you go to work.

Couldn't navigate your way out of the house #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/gNoeDyeJYx

— ❀ Sɪᴍᴏɴᴇ ❀ (@Simbra75) February 4, 2020

49) Ice Cream Emergency

How are you supposed to go to work without McDonald’s soft serve? The answer is you’re not. You’re having an ice cream emergency and you need to go home right away.

The ice cream machine was broken at McD again #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick

— Schwartz Trainee Michael (@Sckswithsandals) February 4, 2020

50) I Can’t Even

Why isn’t “I Can’t” a good enough reason? It should be. It’s kind of ridiculous that it isn’t.

You can't even #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/M3GKsWfw2I

— ❀ Sɪᴍᴏɴᴇ ❀ (@Simbra75) February 4, 2020

You have to say your physically ill and/or some other reason you aren’t able to come in. This can be nervewracking. Whether you have a legitimate reason or not.

Here are 50 of the most hilarious excuses people made up for calling out sick to work: