50 seriously funny Amazon reviews posted by shoppers

Sometimes an item is so bad or good that we just have to leave a review. But there are lots of items that we find satisfactory that we don’t even bother. After all, leaving a review takes time.

But there are other people who delight in leaving reviews. They go out of their way to make their review hilarious or even craft elaborate stories. Some of these stories have nothing to do with the actual product.

That’s what makes them extra hilarious. The fact that people go out of their way to leave this kind of review is funny in itself. But these reviews will have you laughing out loud.

Here are 50 funny Amazon reviews that will have you howling with laughter:

1) It’s a Winner

This man found the perfect selfie stick and he’s loving it. Even he is able to work it. This may be the sweetest Amazon review of all time.

2) Pens For Her

There’s no way you could not leave an absurb review for such an absurd product. And this woman laid it on thick. Too bad her husband hates this product.

3) They’re Crap

I love how the title starts with “They’re crap” yet it gets a five-star review. The image of 700 “angry queers kazooing” brings much joy to me. Especially when it’s to drown out the sound of hate.

4) Swiss Army Mustache

There’s a lot going on here. The growing of mustaches. The achievement of becoming a Navy Seal. Nice boobs. It’s a lot.

5) Pregnancy Dress

It’s so satisfying to wear a special occasion dress more than once. This husband AND wife got to wear it. I think he wore it better though.

6) Lift the Flap Book

Not sure what’s funnier this joke review or the actual negative review people actually leave for children’s books. It’s a children’s book… not Shakespere. Get over yourself people.

7) Airplanes for Boys

This review is no longer listed as airplanes “for boys,” maybe it’s because of reviews like these. Now it’s just listed as “Sky Airplane” (duh) sold by a company named “China.” The product is no longer available. Maybe because of the effects they were having on little girls.

8) Crap for Murder

Are you trying to murder your mother-in-law? Then don’t buy this product. It’s crap for murder.

9) You’re Doing It Wrong

This woman is clearly confused on what a toilet brush is used for. Apparently she thinks it’s for cleaning herself. Instead of the toilet.

10) Hamilton Love

This guy loves the Hamilton soundtrack. I mean, REALLY loves it. This is a hyper-enthusiastic review.

11) Saved a Marriage

This Amazon product saved this person’s marriage. It’s not a book on marriage advice or anything like that. It’s a banana slicer. It’s works in the kitchen and in the bedroom.

12) Dinosaurs and Your Anus

Not sure why this got a five-star review. Clearly this single t-shirt has wreaked havoc on his family. Or at least his 29-year-old son’s butthole.

13) Glitter Security

This guy got safety and security for just $12.44. His carpet looks like a Care Bear farted all over it but that’s a small price to pay for safety. Now he doesn’t have to worry about being murdered in the night by some rando off the street.

14) Cups Over Hands

Thank God for these cups. If it wasn’t for these cups, this guy would still be using his hands. And that’s unsanitary.

15) Additional Stars Can Be Purchased

This person did NOT like this game. Maybe it was all the extra purcahses required. Apparently the $32 cost for the game wasn’t enough.

16) Ice Trays, Changing Lives

If you’ve ever used dollar store ice trays compared to a quality brand named ice tray, then you’ll know exactly what this person is talking about. The ice cubes in this tray slide out like a dream. No struggle required.

17) The Gummy Bear Cleanse

These sugar-free gummy bears go out as fast as then go in. Heavens to Murgatroyd (whatever the heck that means), this poor person became violently ill after eating these gummy bears. This poor person’s sphincter was screaming. There are several reports of people having the same issue with this product, yet it’s still being sold.

18) Tornado Strength Speaker

Some things just aren’t built for quality these days. But not this speaker. It survived a freaking tornado, followed by rain.

19) Nightmare Penguin

This customer has found that his penguin mask works great as a parenting tool. Well, more like torture tool. He uses it to terrify his children into submisison.

20)Hulk Smash

Poor Etchinson! He thought his Hulk hands would help him fight off some bullies. But these really aren’t meant to be weapons.

21) Terrible Tent

This is a product used for meditation and spiritual protection. This guy thought it was a tent. At least he doesn’t have hepatitis now.

22) Unblinded By the Bidet

This guy wasted 30 years of his life paying for toilet paper. This product will make you a believer. What the heck is gig-but?

23) For Louder Farts

Do you wish that your farts were louder? Then this product is for you! Never have a quiet far ever again!

24) 105″ TV

This guy lost it all because of his purchase. But he’s really happy with his 105″ TV. Even though it cost him a lot more than the thousands of dollars he spent on this TV.

25) Broken UFO Detector

This guy just wanted to stop being abducted by aliens. Apparently that was too much to ask. His detector doesn’t work, if it was ever supposed to.

26) Howling at the Moon

This guy has this same exact design tattooed on his chest. He just needed a little bit more protection when he was storming Mordor. It’s doing the trick as you can tell in the photo he uploaded.

27) Relationship Saved

Here’s another Amazon product that saved a relationship. This gamer boyfriend doesn’t keep his girlfriend up at night anymore. She and her other boyfriend are very happy about it.

28) God’s Second Novel

God’s second novel has really shown his maturity. It’s a little repetitive though. See the Koran and Book of Mormon for his additional works.

29) False Advertising

This product ad uses false advertising. There wasn’t a single wolf in this entire movie. Very disappointing.

30) Unhappy Purchasers

This company must have pissed someone off because are several joke reviews on this page. The item is no longer available either. You could spend a whole day laughing and reading the reviews for this $87,0000 watch.

31) Kill Many Bear in America

Books like this make the American dream possible. This guy now speaks English like a god. He will be a bear killing millionaire soon.

32) NSA and Your Pelvic Floor

This device tracks the efficiency of your kegal exercises. So, now hackers and the NSA know how strong your pelvic floor is. Big brother is getting way too personal.

33) Faster Than the Speed of Light

Ever buy an Amazon product that leaves you with a major existential hangover? That’s what this cable does. It also transmits music data faster than the speed of light

34) Remover of Fights

This small charger can prevent a lot of fights in the home. It frees up time to focus on other fights. Like alcoholism and other unhealthy obsessions.

35) No More House Ghosts

Have house ghosts? Get rid of them with these pills. These babies work wonders.

36) Budget Witness Protection

This mask is saving a man’s life. There wasn’t enough room for him in witness protection. Now he gets to safely live the rest of his life wearing this mask.

37) Raggle Fraggle

This Knuckle Blaster will scare away anyone trying to take your money. Including Girl Scouts. Just yell “Raggle Fraggle” when you attack.

38) Radioactive Ore

Need some radioactive ore? I have no idea what this stuff is. This guy made a science joke.

40) You Get What You Pay For

This shoe offers $3,000 worth of style. And it was worth every penny. It was even worth her kid going hungry.

41) Microwaving For One

Not sure what is sadder. This review or the fact that this cookbook exists. At least she has a glass of wine for all that microwaved food.

42) Forcible Tattoo Removal

Do you need to secretly and foricibly remove someone’s tattoo? This product is for your. Just don’t get your ass kicked.

43) Literal Turtle Neck

This is the perfect shirt if you’re dressing up as a ghost. Other than that, it’s useless. Unless you have a super skinny neck or an actual turtle’s neck.

44) The Cock Enthusiast

This is a great book for cock enthusiasts. It’s an extremely thick and long read. It will keep you entertained for a really long time.

45) More Powerful Than a 2-Year-Old

This refrigerator magents are strong. They even stand up to even a raging 2-year-old. See photo for proof.

46) Car Window Reflector

Some products only go halfway. This product keeps the car cool. But it’s such a pain to drive with.

47) Alex Jones Coloring Book

This guy bought this coloring book for his cat. That’s because Scooter likes to pee on Alex Jones. He never misses his mark.

48) Senior Woman Wall Decal

Not sure who would have use for this or why it even exists. But this guy loves it. He now haves a new friend.

49) Yodelling Pickle

This person searched far and wide. Finally he found something that worked for him. The Yodelling Pickle was the answer.

50) 80085 (BOOBS)

Check out this “vintage” calculator watch. You’ve probably haven’t seen these in a while. This guy really wanted them. Now he can spell “boobs.”

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Source: Bored Panda

By D.G. Sciortino

hi@sbly.com

Dina is a contributing writer in Shareably. She's based in Connecticut and can be reached at hi@shareably.net.