50 Confessions people should have kept to themselves

1. Favorite Christmas

Ooh, burn! Let’s just hope this son did not feel bad after hearing that from his Dad. He could be joking, right?

One time, my dad and I were talking about our favorite Christmas. He said Christmas of 1992.

…I was born in September 1993.#ThatWasTMI

— Rob Connett (@RobConnett1) September 27, 2017

2. Was that supposed to comfort me?

Stepping into an Uber means putting your safety in the hands of the driver. Hearing something like this before driving off is not really comforting at all.

https://twitter.com/kingedhill/status/913220844364562432

3. What did it taste like?

Were they trying to be funny? Because I’m pretty sure people did not laugh after hearing their remarks.

#ThatWasTMI my friend announced her drink in the pub tasted like sperm. My other friend (straight, male) sipped it and said "NO IT DOESN'T!"

— Dan Bull (@itsDanBull) September 27, 2017

4. Everyone knows.

Technology has a lot of perks but it can also be damaging. This kind of mishap definitely damages your reputation, especially when it’s your boss and coworkers who get to know this secret!

I was giving a work presentation & my mom sent an email stating "35yrs ago I lost my virginity to your dad!" Everyone saw it. #ThatWasTMI

— Blair (@blairandcameron) September 28, 2017

5. Oh, no.

Not a good joke there, Grandma. Let’s just hope her granddaughter found it funny after all.

My grandma told me she bought her dress for own funeral and she was gonna give it a test run at my wedding #ThatWasTMI

— Kelsey Muske (@kejade) September 27, 2017

6. This hack

Watching movies at theatres could be nicer if you did not have to go out from time to time because you got to pee and it’s freezing inside the movie house. It’s a good thing this woman shared this life-changing tip.

A woman sitting next to me at HAMILTON told me she avoids long restroom lines at the theatre by wearing an adult diaper. #ThatWasTMI

— Sharon Gillenwater (@CXO_Insights) September 27, 2017

7. Two-timing teacher

Teachers should be good role models to their students, right? This teacher accidentally showed everyone how to a bad role model instead.

My teacher told me he had to keep his phone on in class just in case his wife or girlfriend called #ThatWasTMI

— B (@Biancawitte_) September 27, 2017

8. Do you smell something funny?

If you ever went to Macy’s and smelled something weird along with the racks, then you probably have an idea now what really stinks. This Grandma just spilled the beans!

My 87 y/o grandma says she hides in the clothes racks at Macy's when she has to pass gas 😩 #ThatWasTMI

— carla codorniz (@CarlaCodorniz) September 27, 2017

9. She hears it from her mom

Without having to tell people directly, this little girl who’s playing house has accidentally shared how her mom feels every day. Now, everyone knows she’s about to be part of a broken family.

My kid's friends were playing house. One girl pretended to sweep the floor & said "ugh this is exactly why I want a divorce!!" #ThatWasTMI

— Kellyn Robertson (@knrobertson515) September 27, 2017

10. Fearless forecast

They say “never say it’s over unless it’s over”. But, this woman seems to know just when the marriage is going to last.

https://twitter.com/macymouse1224/status/913109881720311808

11. Not pee.

It could have been easier to bear for her if he just let her thought she was hearing him pee. But, he had to say the truth and ruin her calm stomach.

https://twitter.com/mzcorona10/status/913110049366540289

12. Never bend over

Oops, it’s the cow’s mating season again. Remember: Don’t bend over. I can’t seem to imagine what this Mom could have experienced for her to say that with so much knowledge behind her words. Yikes.

My friend's mom warned us to never bend over in cow pastures during mating season, something she'd learned from experience🐂 #ThatWasTMI

— roselyn (@christinarugala) September 27, 2017

13. The reason why

It is already embarrassing for a guy to go about carrying tampons. Did he really have to say the truth on why he also bought beer?

When I was a cashier I sold a guy a case of beer and a box of tampons. He said, "I'm buying this to deal with that." #ThatWasTMI

— Perkinskiii 💭 (@adrunkteacher) September 27, 2017

14. Seems like a fitting explanation

Hey, kids with the same birth month from different years who are reading this! Now, you know why. This could be the same for your folks, huh?

A girl at my college orientation said that her parents had a "breeding season" because her siblings are born in the same month #ThatWasTMI

— Lauren (@lauren_flo_xo) September 27, 2017

15. Not in the big boy pants

Only an innocent child will tell another soul that he is pooping at the very moment they are talking. Bless this boy’s heart!

A little boy tapped me when I was talking to his mom to say, "I'm pooping right now but it's ok. I'm not in big boy pants yet." #ThatWasTMI

— Courtney Stern (Fiorini) (@CourtTheStern) September 27, 2017

16. I did not need to know that

Saying “Thanks!” would have been enough. Why share that personal information, though?

Coworker complimented another coworkers shoes. She said "thanks I have a pic with just these on". #ThatWasTMI

— Webby (@ajwebster826) September 27, 2017

17. Gross.

Do people really need to emphasize how filthy they can be? Well, this person’s friend seems to not mind sharing that fact to the world.

My friend said she was showering and a piece of taco meat fell out of her boobs….she hadn't eaten tacos in 4 days #ThatWasTMI @jimmyfallon

— 𝓙𝓪𝔂 🦊 (@_jaycifer) September 27, 2017

18. Mom!

Moms are cute when they are trying to be funny. At least she knows how to have a bit of fun, right?

Phone call home: "Are you drunk dialing me?" Mom asks.
"No."
"Oh, well, I'm drunk answering." She laughs. #ThatWasTMI

— Jeremy Art (@jeremyart) September 27, 2017

19. Okay, no time for that

Shoveling the snow is hard enough as it is. But, this man had to endure a gross story about explosive diarrhea. Wow.

Was out shoveling snow at our new house, neighbor gave me a 10 minute lecture on why he can't shovel due to explosive diarrhea #ThatWasTMI.

— Andy Carey (@acarey05) September 27, 2017

20. Whoops

When someone says “whoops” for no reason, that’s when things get suspicious. This is a perfect example for that.

My coworker mumbled "whoops" and left the room for 30 minutes, and upon his return he exclaimed, "You can't trust the shart!" #ThatWasTMI

— SunburbanBlackDad (@Michael_A_Lake) September 27, 2017

21. Totally honest

It might be too much information, but this woman probably just said that for the benefit of her coworkers. At least, she meant well, though it was at her expense.

Co-worker came into the office, said she had an accident & had to wash her underwear out in the sink. Told us not to go in there #ThatWasTMI

— Natalie (@suck_it1980) September 27, 2017

22. She proved it.

Some people laugh so hard they end up snorting or even farting! This girl had the privilege to see one for herself, thanks to her very honest friend.

https://twitter.com/nataliegraceja/status/913113748390531074

23. That memorable day

Oops, Dad, your kid did not need to know that! That kind of detail,especially coming from your own parents, will definitely make one cringe.

My dad gave me a picture of he and my mom on a date at the Playboy Club. Says "I think this is the night you were conceived" 🤢#ThatWasTMI

— Jenna (@jennabakescakes) September 27, 2017

24. Nasty lunch

Who loves spicy food? We all know what it tends to do to our tummies but other people don’t really need to hear about that.

https://twitter.com/MoreKeIIBeII/status/913134331849146368

25. Not what you think

Kids are well-known for being too honest. Well, in this case, the kid did not mean anything when he said that. It’s just the dirty mind of the listener that made it worse.

My son once told a stranger in an elevator that my butt hurt (I had injured my tail bone). I got the dirtiest look. #ThatWasTMI

— elizabeth tracey (@ectrac3y) September 27, 2017

26. Just say “Thanks!”

I’m pretty sure she only needed someone to talk to at the time. But, still, this is one cringe-worthy experience we’d rather not have.

I complimented a ladys purse she cried & said it was her sisters then explnd in detail how her sister died locked in a bathroom #ThatWasTMI

— Aubree (@ab1498) September 28, 2017

27. Is it hot in here?

Waitresses are not supposed to say these kinds of things to customers. And with that language, I doubt these guests returned to that restaurant ever.

https://twitter.com/Mike_Brindisi/status/913113806632562699

28. Smells fishy

You’re not a fish or a creature that leaves in the ocean so you should never smell like fish. And of course, if you smell like something you’re not supposed to, there is something definitely wrong with you.

We had a classmate ask in Biology, "Is there something wrong with me if I smell like fish?" #ThatWasTMI pic.twitter.com/eZIe5sW2xo

— Craig Backus (@craigbackus) September 27, 2017

29. Hemorrhoid cream

I’m not sure how this Grandpa even swapped hemorrhoid cream with toothpaste, but this story is definitely one that you should not bring out in the open. Couples have a lot of these kinds of secrets which should probably remain hidden forever.

https://twitter.com/BUTCHERAUSTIN_/status/913149317426368512

30. Not an innocent question

If he did not add that second part, I would have guessed he was just curious as to where the potty was. Well, until he said the he piddled a little.

I had an elderly customer walk up to me and ask, "Where is your potty, Honey?" Then added, "I piddled a little." #ThatWasTMI

— Jess le mess (@JessDoesntGetIt) September 27, 2017

31. Just jealous

Did she think this woman would not buy the strawberries just because she said horrible stories about it? Well, the woman probably returned the package after that long rant.

At the grocery store, woman in front of me looks at my package of strawberries, tells me how good they look but they give her diarrhea #tmi

— Lori (@LoriLMcT) September 27, 2017

32. What?

Now, I know about sentimental moments between students and teachers who are about to part at graduation. But this story is definitely a creepy one? Did they really think this was normal?

https://twitter.com/Faithkeune/status/913122051849883648

33. Random thoughts about coffee

We can talk about coffee. Just keep the poop out of the topic, please.

My friend randomly said to me "coffee makes me poop…does it make you poop too? I wonder why it does that" #ThatWasTMI

— Ann (@DunLahfAtMae) September 27, 2017

34. Getting divorced

She probably could not believe it was actually happening. It did not feel like she was getting a divorce until she voiced it out loud to some stranger on the speedway.

At speedway once my cashier asked how I was doing. I said "good, how are you?" He said "pretty good. I'm getting divorced….." #ThatWasTMI

— Colin Stuerzenberger (@colinstuerz) September 27, 2017

35. What happens when you drink coffee?

This was a simple question, but it totally launched a guy into a very long rant about how coffee affects his entire system. The person who asked probably regretted their act after receiving that kind of answer.

Asked a new coworker if he drank coffee, and he launched into an hour long lecture of what happens when he drinks coffee… #ThatWasTMI

— Erin W (@ERoseOfAlbain) September 27, 2017

36. Complaining

Why would you even say something like that out loud? Unless, you are proud of it, of course.

When my coworkers overheard me complaining 2 the cable company about porn charges on my cable bill #ThatWasTMI

— Jen Hen (@hennis_jennifer) September 27, 2017

37. Kid honesty

Let’s admit it, the way kids think is cute. This one, in particular, may sound a bit gross but it actually is quite adorable!

My sister said she doesn't like eating colorful food because she doesn't want to poop out a rainbow. #ThatWasTMI.

— ᴷᴵᴷᴵ :) (@melanin_falpal) September 27, 2017

38. Must be the same length

Some people are too much of a perfectionist. Just like this person who even wants his body hair to grow all at the same length at the same time!

My coworker said he trims all his body hair at 1/4". #thatwastmi

— Jeffrey Haun (@JeffreyHaun) September 27, 2017

39. What a feat!

She really did that? It’s gross, I admit, but it definitely is an achievement!

So someone (not gonna name her) decides to tell me she took a massive crap and said it looked like and ice cream swirl #ThatWasTMI

— Grace Ferris (@grace_ferris8) September 27, 2017

40. No, Mom!

Moms are brutally honest and they do this to rile up their kids sometimes. This mom is one perfect example of that.

I asked why my Dad didn't return to the movie. My Mom goes into details about how the popcorn we are eating gave him diarrhea. 😳 #ThatWasTMI

— Ryan Bartholomee (@RyanBartholomee) September 27, 2017

41. Gross!

He’s a stranger in a cubicle but still, it was a picture that will probably stay etched in my mind for long. Eew!

In college I heard someone using the restroom say "if I was in a tribe my name would be bleeding greasy." #ThatWasTMI

— Luke RS (@LukeRuizSnyder) September 27, 2017

42. Wow

This lady’s customer seems to be proud of her decisions in life, maybe that’s why she shares them freely. Well, I’d say she shouldn’t be proud of all that and let’s just hope that the court did not side with her that court date.

A customer told me she needed an outfit for her court date to win back custody of her kids which she lost by growing marijuana #ThatWasTMI

— Natalie (@NatalieBozett) September 27, 2017

43. No, not ever.

Some people are downright weird. Who loves to have an unusual aftertaste of food in their mouth and refuse mint? Only this weirdo!

Friend told me "I'm not accepting your post-lunch mint because I like the food taste to linger in my mouth." #ThatWasTMI

— Princess Buttercup (@AsYouuuWiiish) September 27, 2017

44. I did not want to know

After knowing about this, people would probably won’t go near any public pool ever again. Yuck!

https://twitter.com/clap_box/status/913152357021683713

45. Typo error?

This must be a typographical error. If it wasn’t, then this person’s friend just proved that he is dumber than expected.

My friend said he couldn't come over to hang out because he had a bad case of Diphtheria & was going ti the bathroom constantly #ThatWasTMI

— Tim Weber (@totallytimweber) September 27, 2017

46. Mom, why?

Moms love sharing too much information with their children. Why? Sometimes it is the only way to make them follow.

Me: I want to go to Disney Land
Mom: pretty sure you were conceived there
Me: nevermind.. (still haven't went)#ThatWasTMI

— wy (@GimmeFallon_) September 27, 2017

47. Announcing it right there

Okay, she refused to tell her secretly via test only to tell her loudly as she opens the door to his house. Wow.

My friend called me to take him to the doctor and wouldn't tell me why. I open the door and he's like I've got scabies! #ThatWasTMI

— Ashley (@littleashley84) September 27, 2017

48. True friends

You know you are true friends when you give away too much information and you don’t cringe at all. In fact, these two friends even make fun out of their own poop. Ah, true friendship.

#ThatWasTMI My friends and I have a group chat called deuce club. We text whenever we 'drop'(poop). We keep track of points and have rules!!

— emily kowalski (@emilykiskool) September 27, 2017

49. The birds and the bees and more

At some point, kids will have to learn about the story of the birds and the bees. But this mom is not satisfied with only words, she even had to draw everything and make hand motions, too. Oops.

My mom giving me the sex talk when I was 10 complete with drawings and hand motions… 😫 #ThatWasTMI

— Lurking 🧂🍭🍑 (@XOXOLiBar) September 27, 2017

50. What started it all

And finally, this Tweet from Hollywood personality Jimmy Fallon that started it all. You know what, people do a lot of things during meetings, not just sucking out Starbursts. You’ll surely be surprised at what happens behind those face masks!

My friend says he doesn’t eat Starbursts because they get stuck in his teeth and he has to suck them out while he’s in meetings. #ThatWasTMI

— Jimmy Fallon (@jimmyfallon) September 27, 2017