Cops pulled someone over for a traffic violation and found a large bag of white powder. The driver told them it was a bag of something called vegetable gum used to seal rolled cigars. He was telling the truth.

Cops responded to a domestic disturbance. The couples excuse was that they were not fighting. The were upset because the deer they got to surprise the kids for Christmas were wrecking the house. They literally had three full grown white-tailed deer dressed up like Santa’s reindeer. In the house.

A local homeless man was caught on a bicycle pulling a lawnmower behind him. But he says it was given to him, he didn’t steal it. He was telling the truth. Some homeowner whose wife was mad at him gave it to him as he rode past.

Police got a call about an 18-year-old brandishing a gun. He kept telling them it wasn’t a gun, but they took him down at gunpoint anyway. Then they checked his holster. He was carrying a black dildo not a gun.

The police got a call about a drunk driver swerving all over the road and hitting trash cans. He denies that he’s been drinking but he’s tested. And passes. Then they find out he’s diabetic and hasn’t had his insulin. His problem was low blood sugar, not booze.

Cops pulled over a woman who was speeding and ran a red light. Her excuse was her breast implant exploded. And it had. EMS was called, and she was rushed to the hospital.

When charged, a criminal was asked where he got his gun. He said he found it. No one believed him. Until a detective remembered another case where a shooter claimed to have hidden his gun in a tree, but that it was gone when he went back for it.

After crashing into a tree, a woman claimed she did so because an owl flew into her car and scared her. Uh-huh. Sure, lady. The officer gets in her car to move it for the tow truck and an owl flew from the back seat and out the window.

An MP was called to a domestic dispute. They get to the house and find a huge 6’4” and 275 guy and a petite 4″10″ and 95 lb woman. She’s Asian, they can’t understand her, and he wont talk. They take him in. And notice all the welts and his hands and forearms. She was the one beating him with a wire hanger.

An MP working at the base gate refused entrance to someone claiming a general—whose name they didn’t know—said to come. Since the only ID the person had on them was a driver’s license, they weren’t allowed in. Turns out he was to be awarded a Navy cross by this general the next day.

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding like a madman. He said he had to get to the hospital because he had a tick on his penis. The cop didn’t believe him but escorted him there—so he could get the truth. He wasn’t telling the truth. The tick was in his penis, not on it!

A cop sees a kid in an area where drug deals are known to happen. He’s sitting in his car with something suspicious in his hands, which the cop sees as he drives by. He wheels back and lights into the kid—who had a taco in his hand.

Some poor schmuck got pulled over for a simple road infraction, but when the cops pulled his name, they claimed he was wanted for rape and assault. He finally got the cop to believe that it isn’t him. There is a guy in his city born on the same day, with the same name, and his SSN is off by one digit.

This cops first ever call was about a flasher in the park. Turns out it was a mentally impaired teen running home without his pants on. He told the officer he was itching, and had to take them off. Further investigation found he sat on a nest of red ants in a sandbox.

One night while doing booking, a guy is brought in with a crazy amount of drugs. He tells the officers they messed up, because he is working with the DEA and was informant helping them with a drug bust. He was telling the truth. The DEA wasn’t happy.

In an area where there had been a lot of break ins and car thefts, a cop started harassing two kids outside of a restaurant. He patted them down and pulled a brown paper bag out of one of the kids’ pockets. The kid told him it was The Emancipation Proclamation. It was. A copy of it he had bought earlier that day.

Some kids are caught smoking in their car in a state park, but cop decides not to give them a ticket—until they see the beer cans in the car and the kids are underage. The kids explain they recycle cans. Which the cop didn’t believe until looking in the truck and seeing it was full of crushed cans and bottles.

This is sad. A cop pulled a speeding teen over. He said he had to get home before his mom did because the family dog had jumped a fence and managed to hang himself. He called other family members to verify, and they all showed up at the stop to confirm and show pictures.

Going through a roadblock where cops were checking registration, a guy and his fiancé get stopped. He reaches into his glovebox for his paperwork, and there is a baggie filled with catnip. After much explaining and sniffing, he was believed.

A cop is called to a domestic dispute, and when he gets there there’s a lot of banging and things sound very heated. A shirtless, angry man answers the door, and is shocked that the police are there. He’s home alone, and all that’s going on is him trying to getup some Ikea furniture. Which was completely true.

A guy got pulled over for a suspended registration. Of course he now can’t drive it, so he asks for a ride, because he is meeting his girlfriend who is smoking hot, and she will dump him if he doesn’t show. Cop takes him but doesn’t believe him. The girlfriend was hot.

Cop arrests a heroin addict that he had a warrant for and searches her purse. He finds a container of powder consistent with heroin, but she laughs and says it’s not, it’s her dead cat’s ashes. Which was true.

A bunch of cops have stopped at a gas station for a 3 am break, when I guy pulls up and starts pumping gas. They notice he has a hostler on but his gun was concealed by his shirt so they talk to him about it—and notice the $20 bills and large bag of white powder in the car. He says “oh it’s powdered wall plaster, I just got it from my grandma.” She spotted him some cash too. His story was completely legit.

A guy had been out drinking with his friends but had been smart enough to leave his keys at their place before they went out. Except he got home and had no keys. So he took the screen out of a window and was halfway through when he was grabbed by a cop. He had to explain it was his own home.

Cops were called to a domestic disturbance. Guy opens the door in his underwear and says nope, no problem. He and the wife are just roleplaying. They don’t believe him and demand to see the wife. She’s bound and gagged and hanging from a chain in the basement. But yeah, she was fine, they were just into some kinky sex in their dungeon.

Guy who had just moved into a new place takes a cab home from a party since he is drunk, but gives the driver the wrong address. He arrives at a place that looks much like his, and tries to get in. The residents think someone is trying to break in and call the cops. After much explaining they believe his story and take him home.

Cops find two guys parked in front of a known trap house, and since their car also smelled like weed they make them get out of the car. One of them tells the cop they were only there because they saw someone pushing 2 wiener dogs in a stroller. Yeah, sure. As they were being cuffed, the guy pushing the stroller with the dogs comes back.

Guy gets pulled over for speeding down the highway. Tells the cop he has colitis and really needs to get to a washroom. Cop says there’s a ditch. If you can prove your story, I’ll let you go. He proved his story.

Fire investigators were looking into a suspicious house fire. The people said the house caught on fire because they heard a noise under the house, so they sent a turtle with a candle on its back under so they could locate what it was. A burnt up turtle with wax on it was found.

We’ve all heard “the dog ate my homework.” In this case, “the dog ate my immigration papers.” It turned out to be true.

The neighbors saw kids breaking into a house and called the cops on them. When the cops arrived to question them, there were told the break in was actually some friends trying to help another friend who was missing school. His mother was in the hospital and he was sad and skipping school, so they crawled in a window to get him and convince him to go to school.

Cops catch two kids on a private estate property. It’s late at night and they are creeping around with flashlights. They tell the cops they have no evil intent but heard a rumor about a camel and are trying to see it. This is in the Southwestern US. They just tell the kids to get lost but decide to check for themselves. There was a camel.

ToO drunk to stumble all the way home, a guy decides to crash at the house of a few of his buddies—who apparently don’t lock their door. He enters the house, calls upstairs that its him and he’s crashing on the couch and goes to sleep. Wakes up in handcuffs. His friends had moved out the day before and it was a new family there.

At a routine spot check during the holidays for drunk drivers, cops do a random check on a driver, who passes. They ask if he has any drugs. The driver nervously answers maybe and explains that he works for a pharmacy and is transferring stock to one of their other stores. Long story short, he was telling the truth.

Remember the last big health scare? Cop pulls over a speeder and the person says they think their son has H1N1 and are speeding to the hospital. Didn’t believe him at first—until getting a look at the very sick looking child in the back.

Another speeder. Cops pulled a woman over who said she was speeding because her dog was sick. It had eaten bad deviled eggs. The cop believed to story after the dog projectile vomited on him.

State trooper pulls over someone who has what appears to be a baggie of weed. She says no, it’s died out cat poop that she’s taking to the vet for testing. He seized it for testing. It was cat poop.

Cops pull over a known drug dealer on a warrant. He’s carrying one of those metal pill bottle containers on his key chain. It has white powder in it. No it’s not cocaine or any other drug. It’s my father’s ashes! It was ashes.

Cop pulls over a couple. The woman is driving, car reeks of booze. They breathalyzed her and it comes back positive. She starts crying, saying she’s sober, but he spilled booze on himself. They take her out of the car and test her again, and she is actually negative, now that’s she’s away from him.

State trooper pulls over a woman for speeding. There is a man in the back groaning. She tells the cop she’s speeding because her husband is in labor, which he naturally didn’t believe. Until the trans man in the back began giving birth and he had to deliver the baby.

Cop pulls over a woman for a minor violation. Asks for her driver’s license, which she hands over. It’s half burned. She explains that her iPhone exploded and burned/melted her ID and cards. Turned out to be true.

Cop pulls someone over and since his eyes are all swollen up, he does a field sobriety test to check for drug substances. Guy says his eyes are puffy because his cat died, and asks the cop back to his house. Cop goes, to check out story. The guy is just finishing setting up a gravestone for his cat in the backyard.

Cops pull over a man and find a sealed bag of crushed white powder. They arrest him even though he tells them it’s crushed mints. He’d had his teeth extracted and veneers put in and couldn’t bite yet. They laughed at him and told him they weren’t stupid. They were crushed mints.

Cops pull over a guy who has a newborn. They find a box of first food’s rice cereal, which pretty much looks like cocaine. They arrested him without even checking, just thought he was clever for hiding it like that. He then had them test it, and is now suing the department for false charges.

Cops get a call from a neighbor about a domestic in progress. Before the cops get there, the caller calls again to say all is good, don’t bother. Cops still check it out. A couple was fighting and throwing furniture around because they were mad about the American Idol winner.

Cop pulls over a car that’s driving erratically. It’s in and out of its lane. Driver said he had a frog in his car and he didn’t want it to jump on him. Sure enough, after a check, there was a frog on the dash. The cop got rid of it for him.

Cop pulls over a woman who is speeding. She says she’s in labor but needs to get her health card. He doesn’t believe her. She’s headed away from the hospital and doesn’t think they would send a pregnant woman home. He writes up a ticket and tells her if she mailed a copy of a birth certificate showing a birth within 24 hours of the ticket, he would have the ticked dismissed. He got a copy a few weeks later. The baby was born 9 hours after the citation.

Cop pulls over a car driving very slow and very odd in the middle of the night. It would stop in places like store parking lots, churches, closed parks, as if casing places out. They were playing Pokemon Go.

Cop pulls over a car on the suspicion they were smuggling drugs. They tell him it’s donuts. He searches the car and finds about 24 dozen boxes of donuts.

Officers spotted two cars meet and exchange a package in a closed deli parking lot they see a lot of drug activity in. One officer stopped the car that handed the package over and the other went after the receiver. When asked about the package, the first said it was a VCR, but since this was in 2018, the cop didn’t believe him. Until the other officer contacted him and said it was a VCR in the package.