50 clothing label tags people never realized were so funny

I have to admit I’ve never seen anything funny on a clothing label. And I do read them. Because after all, that’s where the laundry directions are. And just because a t-shirt is a t-shirt doesn’t mean it doesn’t come with some special washing instructions.

But my label reading has been limited to things like hand wash cold or tumble dry low. Until now. Now my eyes have been opened to a whole new medium that I’m going to have to start reading.

Here’s a list of 50 funny—sometimes hysterical—clothing labels. After reading these I know you are going to be checking your labels too. How could you not?

1. Tested on animals

Actually, this isn’t a joking matter, right? Because who of us wants to wear clothes made with some process that endangered animals. But this label, yeah. You can laugh.

2. This makes me sad

I wonder if they will change this label. Because given the fires raging in Australia and the loss of the panda population, it may not be appropriate anymore.

3. This is a first

We typically see instructions that will keep our clothes in the best shape possible. This worst result instructions would definitely see you using your clothes as rags much sooner.

4. Not a good idea

Or, if your mom is smart, she’ll teach you a useful skill. So one day when you finally move out of her basement, you will know what to do.

5. Excellent advice

We live at a time when gender roles aren’t as strict and foolish as they used to do. So yeah, Mr. Mister. You can share the load—or in this case, do your own load.

6. Hmmm

Are these pants that are made to be worn commando? In that case the “always wash your butt” instructions make perfect sense.

7. Well, look at you!

Now this is person who digs through the labels either looking for instructions or just looking for them to cut them off. But given that neon green, I don’t think finding that label was all that impressive.

8. I’m on the fence here

For the most part, I agree. Keep your shirt on. Typically, the rest of us have no interest in seeing it. However… No, no. Must not objectify those 6-pack abs.

9. Is it that easy?

If only it were true. A simple article of clothing that would get you through the sometimes awful trauma of a first date. And not just get you through, make it awesome.

10. CYA

While this is hysterical, this is ironically known as “cover your ass.” Because there will be some dumb ass that will zip his junk in and then try to sue for manufacturer because he hurt himself.

11. Comforting

This could be in retaliation to people who only want to purchase Made in the USA, or not purchase Made in China. I just like knowing my clothes weren’t made by extraterrestrials.

12. Gremlins reference?

If you feed a gremlin after midnight bad things happen. First they will cocoon, and then they turn into evil gremlins.

13. Trash-talk?

You know, we have to put up with enough people being rude to us in a day. Do we really want our clothes trash-talking us too?

14. Slightly confused

I’m guessing X1 is the same thing as 1X, but I could be wrong. If it is, then the label is borderline cruel IMO. Because if you are buying plus size clothing, you are not going to fit into a small.

15. Um… okay

I wonder if there are instructions on the other side. And I wonder why the felt the need to point out whatever that is should be washed when it gets dirty. Have we sunk that low?

16. What is that label on?

The curiosity is killing me! What article of clothing is this label attached to? Some kind of underwear? Adult diapers? What else can you think of?

17. Safety dance

I wonder if this is a nod to that old Men Without Hats song. Ah we can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind. Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance, well they’re are no friends of mine.

18. Zing!

I really wonder if this costs them sales. Men’s egos are often so very fragile. Wouldn’t this be crushing to them?

19. Hmm

Well, Kangaroo Poo is a brand name. And I’m guessing there is some deep—or maybe not so deep!—meaning behind the name. But I have no idea what it is.

20. Dang!

That’s kinda mean, right? I mean if someone is fat, they are fat, overweight, obese, whatever you want to call it. But who wants to be labelled—literally—that way?

21. Cry for help?

This actually may be a cry for help, not something to be laughed at. It was recently in the news that sweat shop workers were getting messages in in greeting cards and such. Could that be what this is? I don’t know.

22. These guys are mean

I think this is the same manufacturer as the M stands for Manly, which you aren’t yet label. They’re taking pot shots at their market. How does that work?

23. I’m stumped

I’m trying to figure out what this could be a tag for, but I’m coming up with nothing. However, whatever it is, saying you, the wearer, may be hot is pretty cool.

24. Oven mitts?

Or maybe a potholder or apron? I’m trying to think of something that would be appropriate to have a recipe attached to it.

25. I need to know

Does this mean the artist is wearing two socks that match or does it mean all the happy people are wearing matching socks? Because that might be weird.

26. They need an editor

Hamsters and other gerbils? I think that should be hamsters and other rodents. Hamsters and gerbils are two different things. Regardless, what does all this have to do with shoes?

27. Well, uh…

I guess they’ve done a market assessment and understand their demographic. And that demographic knows to be careful when buying gifts from here.

28. If only

I wish more labels were so clear on the bleach thing. Tell me I’ll be screwed if I use bleach just like this label does. Spell it out. Forget the stupid symbol. Yeah, I’m bitter. I still haven’t gotten over it.

29. Does anyone care?

This looks like the waistband of men’s dress pants. I’m wondering why any man wants this message about fjords and grandmothers in his pants. The cocktails, however…

30. Moods of Norway

So I checked out their website. Here’s their tagline: “Inspired by men
who follow their own path, every day.” Uh-huh.

31. Hahaha

Remember you mom’s advice? Always wear clean underwear? This seems to take that a step further.

32. Yikes!

I wonder what that is. Kinda looks like a bathrobe. But that glue part? Will this thing dissolve if it gets wet? Freighting.

33. Translation

“We are sorry that our president is an idiot. We didn’t vote for him” No idea what country this article was made in. And I’m sure there is more than one president in the world who’s an idiot, so I’m not sure who they’re talking about. You get to pick!

34. What?

Who are you? My mother? So many rules! What if I like to be alone? Everybody wants to tell you how to live these days.

35. I wonder where?

I would love to know if this label is in the front or back of those jeans. Maybe the label just means the fabric is soft and will feel nice. But that eye gives me other ideas.

36. I wish

I typically don’t mind doing laundry, but I’m not a big fan of ironing. It would be cool if this label was speaking generally. It would mean I’m done ironing for life!

37. Holy komoly!

You know there’s a problem if your cloths have a label saying don’t wear near fire. Most fabric will eventually burn but I think most of our clothes made here in North America are fire retardant.

38. Well, yeah.

I love these labels that state the obvious. Is this for people—assuming such people exist—who just wash their clothes for the heck of it?

39. Good advice

Sure, it’s an oxymoron. A label telling you not to let yourself be labeled. But I guess they can get away with it if there’s something useful on the other side.

40. Be happy!

Apparently all it will take is not spending money on general laundry supplies or using your coins at the laundromat. If only it were that simple, right?

41. Frivolous spending?

I guess when you’re drunk on port it’s not surprising that you’ll make silly suggestions. Like just buy a new one when it gets dirty instead of washing it.

42. I disagree

Acrylic is made out of plastic fibers and can be very itchy and scratchy. And there is 80% of it. So I question that 100% cuddle.

43. Sure

So the message here is that all you need to do to change who you are is to change your name? And get rid of your buttons? If only.

44. Excellent advice

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of the positive stuff. Have a mantra to live by. To bad that’s hidden in your clothes. You might need to take it out and look at it occasionally.

45. Seriously?

Is this such an issue that a warning needed to be added to a clothing label? Is this a Chinese thing?

46. Oh, really?

If you’re going to tell people fruit salad is a healthy snack, you need to give them more info. They might think you mean those sugar filled littles cans you get in the grocery store.

47. This feels like 8th grade

Hey, can you pass this note to Shiloh? I think she’s cute, and she sure has a pretty name.

48. I’m so confused

I think this would be one of those situations where you could rightfully sue. Because you took your clothing to the dry cleaner when you read the first line.

49. Hey, diddle diddle

The cat and the fiddle, the fish jumped over the saloon. The little dog laughed, to see such fun, and the dish ran away with the spoon.

50. Wow!

There is just so much wrong with this. First, someone has some questionable math skills since that adds up to 115%. Second, apparently you can’t wash this garment.

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