50 bizarre paint jobs that never should have happened

Cars typically come in a small array of colors and I’ll admit the choice is often boring. You can choose from black, white, grey, silver, and if you’re fortunate there may be a few other options.

So yes, for the most part, new car colors are a huge yawn.

But is that an excuse to use your car as a giant, curved canvas and paint some crazy scene on it? In my opinion, no.

Many people clearly disagree with me and have opted for often ridiculous paint jobs which I’m sure are hazardous. Simply because other drivers are so startled by what they see, they could lose control of their own sanely—if boring—colored car.

Prepare to be blinded as you feast your eyes on the following. And just for fun, I’m going to include more than paint jobs. I’ll include some crazy mods as well.

1. A day at the beach

Look at that water. Such a beautiful color and so calm. Except for the ‘gator head cresting the surface. Who does this to their Lexus?

2. Smart?

Can a Smart Car be dumb? Although I do love the Nemo theme and the shell mirror, I’m not sure about driving around in this.

3. I’d rather be sailing

I’m sure there’s a bumper sticker that says that. How about slapping that on your bumper instead of painting your message on the car?

4. How reptilian

I don’t like snakes in general, and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want one in or around my car. What could prompt someone to do this? It is gorgeous work, though.

5. Wait, what?

Am I imagining things or is someone using a black magic marker on this car? Can’t wait to see what acid rain will do to that. I don’t care if it is a permanent marker, this probably won’t last.

6. I really wish I hated you

Oh, I do! Not the song, of course, but this horror show of a car? Did someone think making a mockery their fave band was a good thing?

7. Guess what?

You are so not on fire. You probably thought this was hot and it would make you hot, right? Sadly, wrong.

8. Stupid and impractical

I’m not even sure what is going on here. We have the scaly green background, so I’m guessing some sort of reptile. And a cheetah running in front of it? Why? But the tree branched stuck to the wheels? Yeah, that will work.

9. No. Just no.

This is proof that money doesn’t buy good taste and class. The car is a Bugatti and a new one sells for $2.9 million. That is not a typo. $2.9 million. And then you do this to it.

10. Poor Mini Cooper

I’m not sure if that’s s teddy bear or a real live bear cub sitting in a patch of daisies. But does it really matter? It’s silly either way.

11. Inked

Okay, this looks like a giant tribal tattoo to me. I’m imagining one of those people who have their entire bodies inked. Do you move onto your car when you have no space left for ink on your body?

12. Granny’s house

This is either a replica of Granny’s wallpaper, curtains, or sofa. That hideous floral design of days gone by. Why resurrect it and then foist it on the world like this?

13. What am I looking at?

I don’t even understand this. Are those arrows and lightning bolts of assorted colors? Just arrows? This makes no sense.

14. Granny is back

This is a Mercedes-Benz. And if they were capable of emotion, I bet it would be terribly embarrassed. And the driver too. Unless it really is granny who is driving it.

15. Swan Lake?

I’m guessing the driver of this ride is a ballet dancer. Maybe one who has danced in Swan Lake. Because I see water and what could be swans in flight.

16. Why?

You have to assume it’s an adult who owns this car, right? Why would any adult paint an expensive car—I think it might be a Corvette—as SpongeBob?

17. Did he lose a bet?

That is the only explanation that makes sense. And I don’t even know what it is that’s painted on that car. All I know is that it’s ugly.

18. I’m not sure

Is this an effort to cover up a bullet hole? Because if you look under the side view mirror, it looks like there is an actual hole there. And since your brain is in shock due to the rest of the car, you don’t notice it at first.

19. Cat woman

Have you seen that picture of the woman who has a cat looking face? It’s a Botox gone wrong pic. I wonder if she owns this car.

20. More cats

As a dog person I’ve always felt that cat people are weird. I’m starting to realize that’s justified. Having said that, the big cats are awesome, but really. Not for a car.

21. Simba?

I rest my case on the weird cat people observation. Because here’s another cat on a car. But again, big cats are cool!

22. They could have a point

There is a good chance rock and roll will never die. However, I would think driving around in that car would make you die of embarrassment.

23. Try the real thing

Need a lakeside vacation? Two weeks at the cottage is much cheaper than a car. Try it. The real thing is way better.

24. What the what?

First, that orange or rust looks like regular household paint, not automotive paint. Second, if you were trying to make you car look like a Ford, Mustang, you failed.

25. Bad trip?

I have no idea what’s going on here, and it’s a good guess the artist didn’t know either. This is like some psychedelic trip gone bad.

26. Gone fishin’

Who wants a pickup that looks like a lake trout? Honestly, this would give me nightmares. I can just see some creepy old man saying, “Hey, little girl. Want some candy?”

27. Mystical

Well, this is a nonsensical mess. The dragon on a pure black hood would have been bad enough, but what’s up with that orange and green pattern? And then there’s the crocked DRAGON lettering.

28. Caricature?

Is this supposed to look like a sheriff’s vehicle? That’s the only thing I can come up with. A cartoon sheriff’s car.

29. Knockoffs

Forget the guy at the street corner in New York City trying to sell you a fake watch. Check out this Louis Vuitton car. I’m sure everyone that sees it thinks its legit.

30. Unbelievable

What kind of person thinks this is a good idea? Or funny? This looks unbelievably real and is horrifying.

31. Clown car

Are these guys a few fries short of a happy meal? Besides the fact this is a clear trademark infringement, it looks ridiculous.

32. Lasting impression

SpongeBob SquarePants only aired for about a year, but it clearly had a deep and lasting impression on the 21st century. Why else would you have Squidward and Mr. Tentacles painted on your car?

33. Fashion mistake

I guess someone really loves Burberry. And for those not in the know, Burberry is a luxury brand in Britain, and that pattern is theirs.

34. Dump truck?

Err, dump car? I don’t know about you, but I think taking a dump should be a private moment. Not something passersby should have to witness.

35. Nope

One person gets to choose a color. Every family member doesn’t get to pick their fave, and then they all have a section of the car with their color. And what’s with the heart?

36. Get a room

At least it appears that the car is hiding somewhere. But what would compel a person to have humping bunnies painted on their car?

37. And it’s 3D too!

Is this the creature from the black lagoon? Can someone explain to me why anyone would even want their car to look like this?

38. I don’t understand

So we have another reptile paint job. I’m not sure if this is some kind of snake or maybe an alligator. Either way, why would you want your car to resemble something that slithers?

39. Thinking ahead?

If you paint your vehicle to look like a rusty, dirty mess are you just being smart? That way it will hide reality when your ride really is a rusty mess? I don’t know.

40. Is this even safe?

Forget the bad paint jobs. We’ve moved on to gluing troll dolls to the car. I would not want to be driving behind that thing on the highway as they fly off and hit my windshield.

People of Walmart
Source:

People of Walmart

41. Is anyone fooled?

Maybe if the owner of this took the time to check for spelling mistakes, this would be more believable. Actually, who am I kidding. No way a Honda Civic will ever resemble a Porsche.

42. I’m confused

Painting your car with Hello Kitty is mind boggling enough. What I don’t get is the Chevrolet insignia that’s also all over the car.

43. Did they win?

I can’t help but wonder if this is some weird McDonald’s Monopoly mix up. Because one of the prizes is always a car, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t this.

44. Is anyone listening?

If ever there was a cry for help, this is it. Clearly, this person has lost their mind and is living in a very scary place. Get help now!

45. What an abomination

I take back everything I’ve said so far about the weird fixation with cat paint jobs. Because they are incredibly more acceptable than this monstrosity. We’ve taken crazy cat lady to a whole new level here.

46. Junk food

What does it say about you when you paint your ride with junk food? Are you just saying this is your fave snack or is there a deeper meaning?

47. Sugary sweet

And not just the candy. That pink car looks like candy too. I can only picture a little girl driving this car.

48. I wonder…

I actually love Cheetos. They are one of my fave snack foods. However, do I love them enough to paint my car orange? Nope!

49. Luigi?

I have a few questions. Who’s driving? Mario or Luigi? And when it drives by do you hear the Super Mario music? Which I now can’t get out of my head.

50. Well…

It does have what could double as a freight area in the back. But I’m not sure I want my fragile packages shipped this way.

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