Automobile engineers didn’t put turn signals in cars just because they look cool. They actually don’t (look cool).

Turn signals allow other drivers to adjust their own movements based on your actions. If you don’t warn people ahead of time, people WILL get pissed off.

@Andres Tejeda:

“Looking at you BMW owners.”

The days when people crowded around a boombox to listen to music together on the street is long gone, my friends.

No one wants to listen to your music except for you, so put a plug in your ears before everyone puts you on mute.

Are people really this stupid? Your server is same person who has access to every single molecule of your food. If you don’t want spicy spit with your din din, play nice and tip well.

On the one hand, it’s rude to block people from getting off at their destination. On the other hand, it makes no sense. If the bus or train is full, how do you expect to get on? Sitting on a stranger’s lap went out of fashion in the 80’s with those creepy strip mall Santas.

Dude, you’re not twelve years old anymore! If you make a mess in a public place, clean it up before someone starts in on the crappy yo’ mama jokes!

If someone hands you their phone to show you a photo, it’s not an invitation to start swiping left, right, or upside down. Keep your octopus fingers to yourself, or pick your nose if you really need to keep them busy.

@The Black Panda:

“Omg I really hate it when people do that. It’s why I don’t text much in public. There’s always someone that won’t mind their business.”

Don’t be this guy. If he didn’t look like he had the intelligence of a button mushroom, people would have knocked him over and stomped on his Big Mac ages ago.

“My buddy spotted this guy at the airport on the moving walkway, sitting in a chair, eating McDonald’s while catching Pokemon.”

This piece of steak isn’t going to suddenly grow hooves and walk itself back over to the meat department. This is a waste of a perfectly good ribeye and is tantamount to stealing! The poor cow died for this?

Texting is just as bad as being under the influence. Don’t be that poor sod who hates themselves for killing an innocent boy because you couldn’t wait to pull over to text “ok.”

People that don’t clean up after the dogs are bad enough. But, the worst ones are the folks who go to all the effort of picking up after them, only to leave the bag of doggy doo in the grass.

When you’re out in public, at least act like your fellow humans are more important that your purse. Always give priority seating to tushes and bushes, and not to your pretend leather friend who never once bothered to say hi to your sad, unfriendly face.

Forget crashing the secret cart meetup you weren’t invited to. Push your trolley back where it belongs in its little parking lot cage, then congratulate yourself for being the one grown-up in the group.

Servers are not your dog, and they will not come on command when your snap your fingers at them. In fact, you may even find they’ve been trained to ignore you when you snap at them!

@Malin K:

“Only time it’s appropriate to snap your fingers at someone is at a poetry slam lol”

In a post-pandemic world, keeping your distance is more critical now more than ever before. Not only is it rude, but it’s potentially dangerous – they could have bad corona breath!

Here’s a fun fact: high beams can blind drivers coming at you in the opposite direction. On a two-lane highway, that means they could swerve into your lane and crash into you because they can’t see a darned thing!

Stop trying to feign ignorance that you didn’t know you were in the express checkout lane. Everyone knows you’re lying, and yes they all hate you.

@helene_schladenhaufen:

“Once I had like 5 items and was passed by lady with full cart. She was looking like no I’m not letting you go before me. Except it was an express lane and neither of us did notice. Cashier asked her to move out. Haha. #karma”

Not only is it rude, but it’s also illegal. This will get you skinned for scrap meat and fed to the lions in some countries.

If your aim is off and you can’t slam dunk your own garbage, then your punishment is cleaning up after yourself. Losers gotta suck it up by picking it up!

@Little Duck:

“I once saw someone open a bottle of beer with the edge of a trash/recycling can, then throw the cap on the ground.”

That’s just ewww. It’s also why paper money is one of the dirtiest things on the planet!

@Cassie:

“I don’t get the ones that just rinse. It does absolutely nothing to run your hand briefly under water, so what is even the point?”

Seat wankers are more than just mildly infuriating. They’re also spreading whatever cooties are stuck to the bottom of their shoes.

@apaksl:

“A simple “excuse me” while you slowly lower your ass towards the seat with his feet. He’ll move his feet out of the way.”

That’s okay, no really, you go right ahead and be the lone zebra parked on the zebra crossing. It makes it that much easier for the tow truck driver to find you!

@Sue Rogers:

“I have seen people park on the lines for handicapped parking. Usually handicapped that can’t find a spot. Makes it hard for people to get out of their cars.”

Some languages are harder to master than others, but you don’t need to be bilingual to understand “the yawn.”

No matter what country you’re in, “the yawn” means the same exact thing – get your butt off the couch and go home already!

Words like “gay,” “retarded” and “autistic” aren’t really the insults they used to be.

If you’re going to be a mean bastard, then at least consult the urban dictionary before you open your mouth. Or on second thought, you better keep it shut.

We’re not baby birds, yo! The regurge action you got going on in your mouth is not very appealing.

If riding bums is your thing, you’re seriously driving up the wrong parkway. Think twice about moving in too close – you don’t really want that trucker in the big rig to be the one to teach you that “keep a safe distance” lesson, do you?

So you have a real live person in front of you who doesn’t scream and run away at the sight of your face, and you’re going to let some rando text interrupt your girl talk? Don’t be hatin’ on your friends like that!

@BusLady:

“I might do this if the person is particularly annoying and won’t take a hint and leave. We all know people like that.”

Not covering your mouth when you cough or sneeze is totally gross. If you don’t have any tissue handy, then use the crook of your arm to stop the spread of your germy nose spooge.

It wasn’t cool in 1970’s adult flicks, and it’s still not cool now. Better start cranking your legs together before someone misinterprets all that openness as an invitation to play a mean game of ball with your hacky sack.

There is a special place in hell for people like this. When the devil runs out of toilet paper and needs something to wipe with, they’ll have his back, but not in a good way!

Really? ‘Cause you do realize that you’re in a bar with angry drunks, and even angrier bouncers, all within sucker punch reach, right?

@Grazina Strolia:

“I was at a bar once where the bartender asked me what I wanted, and I said “Oh, I think this person was here first” (the person next to me). While I was saying that, another guy just yelled his drink order from behind me, over my head. AND THE BARTENDER TOOK HIS ORDER. Me and the other customer just rolled our eyes. I did not tip the bartender.”

No matter how much a friendly furry try to smell your butt or nuzzle their nose where it doesn’t belong, don’t give into their charms until you get permission from their owner. Sometimes they do actually say no, and you gotta respect that!

It doesn’t matter if it’s a text, a book, or a really interesting article in a nudie magazine. Reading over someone’s shoulder should be reserved for those times when you’re squished like a sardine on the subway and can’t reach your own phone. Otherwise, you’re just being an inconsiderate spy-hole.

Armrests are like international waters – everyone has the right to passage, but they try not to bump into each other. Because cooties.

Been a creep much? Because that’s the sort of “I’m on the sex offender’s list” vibes you’re giving off when you sit down next to the only other person on an empty bus.

Unless you’re a ventriloquist who can silently mouth your complicated Strarbucks order to the barista while chatting on the phone, it’s time press pause on your super busy life. There’s a certain responsibility that comes with being the loudmouth at front of the line, and it mostly entails shutting your trap so all the annoyed people around you have a chance to breathe.

When people start covering their face with a handkerchief and there’s no bug going around, you should probably take that as a hint to revolutionize your personal hygiene habits. Instead of just jumping in and out of the water in record time, maybe you could try to incorporate something wild into the mix, like a bar of soap!

@Petya:

“I work in a open space, we have a man at my floor that sometimes wears the same clothes for 1-2 weeks and they clearly aren’t washed. In summer to work near him 8 hours a day was torture. The problem is that our crappy HR girls didn’t want to talk to him, because they didn’t want to offend him.”

Now that we’re on the stinky wagon train, let’s talk about smelly food. Nuking fish in the microwave is a big no-no when it comes to office lunches. For some reason people just don’t like being reminded of ocean breezes when they’re stuck in their cubicles.

Headphones are a clear sign that someone doesn’t want to be disturbed. They could in fact be blocking YOU out of their world. So let them be, unless you want to get an angry earful.

When someone asks how your day is going, they honestly don’t care. Give them the standard boxed response, and save your sob stories for the bartender when you jump the line later that night.

There are boundaries, and then there are BOUNDARIES. If you cross that line in the bathroom, and it’s a declaration of war! Your dog will likely be smelling someone else marking their territory on your shoes when you get home.