Everyone knows that millennials are the worst. All you have to do is log on to any news site or turn on the evening report, and you’ll hear about all the industries they’re killing, the values they’ve destroyed, and the lazy way they love to live with their parents.
They even think they’re too good for all-American condiments, like mayonnaise. They’re always on their phones, which are killing their brains, don’t you know. And they have way too much student debt. All of this barely scratches the surface of why millennials are definitely the worst.
These days, “millennial” doesn’t have much of a connection to the actual definition of the word. Generations are a manmade construct, so experts disagree on the exact perimeters. However, the generally accepted range is the group of people born between 1981 and 1996. This means millennials aren’t exactly spring chickens anymore; the youngest ones are finishing up college, while the oldest are getting close to 40. They’re an established part of the voting system, the workforce, and more.
Whether people are referring to millennials by these actual guidelines or generally mean “those young ‘uns,” everyone knows that millennials are just horrible people. Here’s why.
1. They’re arrogant and entitled.
Everyone knows millennials are entitled, with their constant demand for affordable housing. After all, they should be grateful to pay $5,000 a month for an apartment in Oakland on a minimum-wage salary. Everyone loves having roommates! And if they can’t afford a house? They’re obviously eating too much avocado toast.
2. They’re extravagant.
Millennials are mostly employed part-time or paid minimum wage, so it only makes sense that they are extravagant spenders. After all, the economy is in top shape, and finding a job these days is super easy. If they have any money left over, they spend it on organic, sustainably sourced coffee. That’s just how millennials are.
3. They don’t know how to keep up with the times.
Millennials are so lazy, they don’t even own checkbooks or know how to use a scanner or drive a manual vehicle. With innovative technology coming out every day, it only makes sense for them to keep up with the ones that are increasingly obsolete. Why can’t they pay for expensive, traditional cable packages instead of watching Netflix?
4. They’re terrible customers.
It’s almost like millennials don’t know how to shop. Everyone knows that the customer is the king and is always right. If anyone does anything to upset you, you should make sure to threaten to call every higher-up in the company to personally come after one low-level employee. That’s how values used to be.
5. The same goes for servers.
It’s common knowledge that servers are well-paid and universally treated well by managers and customers alike. Millennials don’t even make them work for their money. If they really cared about helping restaurants improve their service, they would leave a 5 percent tip … for the servers that deserve it, of course.
6. Their lives are cushy.
Millennials have cellphones, social media, computers, and cars. They are obviously living in the lap of luxury. Their lives are easy, and they don’t know what it’s like to work hard. Besides, it’s easy to find a job and pay the bills these days. They just don’t know how good they have it.
7. They treat people like equals.
Millennials don’t understand that cashiers, food workers, and waiters are there to serve them. It’s almost like they think that everybody deserves respect, even when they’re not giving you what you want. They should learn that the best way to get your coffee order right is to yell a lot and threaten to take away business.
8. They don’t know how to talk to their elders.
Millennials are known for jumping to conclusions and making a big public stink when things don’t go their way. It’s because they got too many participation trophies, probably. They don’t know how to talk to the older generation the way everyone else always has. Even if they try, they always do it wrong!
9. They’re a bunch of sourpusses.
When weird Uncle Joe makes an awkward joke at Thanksgiving, the polite response is to laugh. Millennials don’t know how to tolerate a well-meaning racist joke, not even from a family member. Back in other generations, we weren’t so sensitive. We just got offended if everyone used the same water fountain.
10. They’re terrible when it comes to real estate.
Most millennials can’t afford their own house. And that’s just silly. If they had saved from birth, they would be able to afford a literal mansion … if they just time-traveled a couple of decades. What with all the fancy technology they have these days, that shouldn’t be all that hard.
11. They have such thin skin.
Millennials spend so much time preaching tolerance, but they don’t have any tolerance when older people want to make offensive jokes. If they had any kind of sense of humor, they would realize that these jokes are meant in fun. They don’t in any way point to a serious issue in society. Right?
12. They don’t write like normal people.
Millennials don’t write in cursive. It’s not as though they do the large majority of their work on a computer keyboard and rarely write anything by hand. Everyone should know cursive. It’s a good traditional skill, like butter making, shearing sheep, and knowing what buttons to press on an iron lung.
13. Those participation trophies never motivated them.
Everyone knows that real dreams mean longing for an expensive car, a mansion, and a yacht. Millennials don’t even bother with that. Ask a millennial what they want, and they’ll probably say, “affordable rent and no more student debt.” It’s like no one ever taught those kids how to live.
14. They have so many demands from society.
It’s almost like they think a society should supply basic necessities to its members. These millennials don’t have health insurance, but they think it should be free for everyone. It’s almost like they haven’t come to accept that polio is a common childhood illness. It just goes to show how ungrateful they really are.
15. They’re financially clueless.
It’s not that hard, millennials. Just go without a decent living space, gainful employment, nutritious food, a car, or any kind of medical necessities. Those pennies will save up. Sure, your health will be destroyed, and you might get scurvy from the lack of fresh produce. However, it will all pay off when you scrape those last few pennies together.
16. They don’t know how to job hunt.
Finding a job is easy. All you have to do is show up in an office with no marketable skills and announce that you’re there for any open position. The boss will be absolutely thrilled and is sure to hire you on the spot. You’ll be making six figures instantly. That’s how the job market works, kids.
17. Their tastes are tacky.
Not only do they harbor a generational hatred for mayonnaise, but they also have no concept of decor. They like things like succulents and impressionist art. Well, a kitchen isn’t a hipster coffee shop. If it doesn’t have shag carpet right under the sink and a coffee percolator from the 1970s, then it’s too fancy.
18. They’re so antisocial.
Back in the baby boomer era, places had names like the “five-and-dime” because things literally cost nickels and dimes. Prices may have swelled since then, but even if they have, millennials should be able to afford to go out. After all, they should have up to $30,000 in savings stashed away.
19. They have no clue when it comes to how to spend their money.
They’re so cheap, they’ve destroyed dozens of industries that the American workforce depends on. Diamonds, transportation, tourism, and high-end dining have all taken a nosedive because millennials are just too cheap to pay for the goods. Every 25-year-old needs expensive jewelry and Caribbean cruises. It’s almost like they don’t even want to live.
20. They’re not willing to work hard enough to climb the ladder.
Sure, we told them to go to college and rack up hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt. But it’s their fault for not having a full-time job lined up right when they stepped out of school. If they won’t work at a gas station, they’re lazy. If they do work at a gas station, they’re just not willing to aim for the stars.
21. They refuse to admit that everything is worse than it was in the good old days.
Millennials don’t understand that everything, and I mean everything, was better back in the day. The sun shone brighter, people were happier, and everyone got along. I mean, sure, there was some institutionalized racism, widespread poverty, and no advancement opportunities for POC. But hey, we could make whatever jokes we wanted.
22. They lack empathy.
Millennials don’t have any interest in walking a mile in their grandparents’ shoes. They don’t know what it’s like to fall out of school into a well-paying job that provides for a family of four, a four-bedroom house, and two cars. It’s like they’ve never tried to understand where baby boomers are coming from.
23. They don’t know how to be grateful for what they get.
It’s almost like millennials have been told their entire lives that if they just did everything right, went to college, studied hard, and applied for jobs, they would actually, you know … make money. They should have known that they’d need at least 10 years of experience before anyone would ever think about hiring them. Unpaid internships are the best.
24. They don’t understand how the world works.
Look, it’s simple. If you want college to be affordable, just go get a part-time job at McDonald’s and pay for it (along with living expenses) all on your own. It worked back in the 1970s, and there’s no way it won’t work now. Just trust your grandparents. They know what it’s like.
25. They don’t know how to invest the money that they definitely have.
Millennials have no priorities when it comes to their money. They don’t in any way need to focus on paying rent, utilities, car insurance, repairs, medical bills, student loans, or groceries. But for some reason, they refuse to sink their money into expensive rocks, like diamonds, or gold and silver coin collections …
26. The internet is rotting their brains.
Back in the day of the baby boomers, no one was ever antisocial. They talked all the time and never buried their noses in books, newspapers, comics, crossword puzzles, knitting, sewing, television, radio comedy hours …. It must be those darn phones that are making everyone so unwilling to talk to one another.
27. They think they deserve decent, affordable housing.
Young people are so entitled, they think they should be able to live on their own, without their parents or five roommates. If they were really hard workers, they’d be able to afford real houses. They must just like to live in expensive, decrepit apartments. It’s probably one of those hipster things.
28. They have no skills.
Millennials don’t know how to do anything that will help them in the real world. They don’t know how to use typewriters, dig root cellars, or install brick. That’s what baby boomers used to call “honest labor.” Nowadays, they just know how to detect online scams, log onto the internet, and block telemarketers. They’re completely useless.
29. They’re completely inconsiderate of others.
Millennials tend to be more considerate of and compassionate toward people who have had different experiences than they have. They are invested in highly representing the poor, POC, and the marginalized. Baby boomers know this is a terrible way to run a society. After all, everything was better when we focused on ourselves.
30. They don’t know the meaning of hard work.
Remember, they’ve all been given participation trophies their whole lives. What with people handing them everything they could ever want every step of the way, it’s only natural they expect to live cushy lives without ever having to work for them. Back in the good old days, people knew better.
31. They don’t know how to take responsibility for their actions.
If millennials were really honest with themselves, they’d start listening to the news. Those anchors will tell you that they’re absolutely destroying everything, and they don’t even care. As soon as they realize their mistakes, they’ll rush in with handfuls of cash to save every industry the baby boomers care about.
32. They have all the wrong things on their mind.
Baby boomers were the generation of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. It’s only obvious that millennials should follow the same patterns. After all, they have the same access, the same priorities, and the same amount of money that their grandparents did back in the summer of ‘69. They’re obviously an unhealthy generation.
33. They take too many selfies.
They’re the most self-absorbed generation to ever live. They’re always pointing phones at their own faces and taking pictures for likes on the internet. Meanwhile, baby boomers are interested in far more important things, like commenting in all caps on every Facebook picture of their grandchildren. They have their priorities straight.
34. They’ve never experienced real problems.
Come on, millennials. The older generations were afraid of atomic bombs. It doesn’t matter that they had plenty of economic prosperity, a great job market, and tons of benefits to make up for it. Nothing bad has happened since those long-ago decades, and millennials need to realize how good they have it.
35. They’re uncooperative.
Millennials absolutely flat-out refuse to do things the way baby boomers want. It’s almost like they’re like every young generation to have ever come, misunderstood by their parents and grandparents, who try to impose antiquated ideas on them. Or maybe the problem is those darn participation trophies that we’ve all heard about.
Please SHARE this with your friends and family.
Follow your friends or be the first to join our group