Ever heard of malapropisms? That’s the grammatical term for when we use a word that sounds similar to the one we want to use, but is actually completely wrong and has a totally different meaning.
The results of using malapropisms are often unintentionally hilarious and awkward, and we’ve gathered up 35 of the funniest examples to share with you today.
1) Want Some Parma Jawn On Your Pea Za?
How can someone working in a restaurant not know the correct spelling of parmesan?
2) Right After 15
This one appears a lot, all over the internet. The correct spelling is Sistine Chapel. It would have been a bit boring if they just named them all after numbers.
3) A Very Different Subject
Wow. This is a wonderful example of the price you can pay for mishearing or misinterpreting a word. ‘Youth in Asia’ and ‘Euthanasia’ do sound rather similar, but they’re very different!
4) What A Distinguished Fire
Distinguishing a fire isn’t going to help out too much. Extinguishing it, on the other hand…
5) Time To Break Up?
Sometimes, we can feel sorry for people mishearing or misspelling a word, but other times we’re just ashamed to even know them!
6) What Do You Mean?
The idea of a syntactic wig doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. We’re hoping that they meant to write ‘synthetic’.
7) Yep, That’s What French People Say
Pro Tip: If you ever visit France and start saying “Bone jaw” to people, they might look at you a little funny.
8) Here’s A Common One
Whoa and woe sound identical, but they’re used very differently!
9) Just… Ew.
One of the most embarrassing malapropisms ever. You definitely don’t want to smell like somebody’s colon! Their cologne would be a lot nicer, trust us.
10) Try It The Other Way
This one was so close, but they just got a couple of letters mixed up. The correct phrase is ‘pedal to the metal’. Putting a petal on metal just seems way less hardcore.
11) That’s Deep
This one really makes us stop and think about life, the universe, and everything. What does it all mean?
12) If You Can’t Speak French…
If you don’t know a second language, that’s fine, but please don’t try using words from it without doing a little research beforehand. The word is ‘Voilà ‘, not ‘wha-la’.
13) So Much Wrong With This One
There’s a lot to unpack here. First, she wrote ‘artistic’ instead of ‘autistic’. As for the last sentence, we don’t even know what to do with that.
14) Nope
Latter. It’s latter. Why would a ladder be involved in any of this?
15) That’s Permanent!
If you’re going to get a text tattoo, you really need to do your homework and make sure everything is spelled and written correctly before getting that message imprinted on your skin for life. Sadly, this person didn’t.
16) Just Add Water
Nope, it’s not ‘deep seeded fears’, it’s ‘deep seated fears’.
17) They Must Be Good!
Orgasmic blueberries certainly sound exciting, but we’re pretty sure the supermarket meant to write ‘organic’.
18) Hope They Don’t Melt
Chocolate bras might even exist, but we’re pretty sure this person meant to ask about chocolate bars.
19) Won’t Someone Please Buy This Person A Dictionary
Seriously, this is why people should really look things up before saying them out loud.
20) Cease, Seize, Close Enough
Many malaproprims appear in popular phrases or expressions like “never cease to make you laugh”.
21) Always Get Consent
We saw ‘parma jawn’ earlier on, and now we’ve got ‘chicken permission’. Maybe people get so distracted when thinking about food they just forget how words work.
22) Food Again
Yep, here’s another food-related malapropism. A baklava is a delicious sweet pastry. A balaclava is like a ski mask.
23) A Juicy Conversation
Apparently, this person thinks grapes are talking about them behind their back!
24) No, No, No
Nope. Just nope. Nobody should be in a wound for three days. A baby might be in a ‘womb’, however.
25) Are They Connected To The Rhinobloods?
We’ve seen some bad spellings of ‘hypocrites’ over the years, but this might be the most hilarious one of all.
26) What An Odd Army
The Salivation Army just sounds… gross. For reference, it’s Salvation Army.
27) That Doesn’t Seem Legal
One of the wost malaproprisms ever. This shop-owner clearly wanted to write ‘prosecuted’ but got all mixed up and wrote something much worse.
28) Sounds Fascinating
Rocket Scientology actually sounds like it could be quite an intriguing subject, but for the purposes of this expression, ‘rocket science’ is what the person was looking for.
29) Amazing
This is what happens when a malapropism goes way too far. A horse who was originally named potatoes ended up being called Potoooooooo due to a misinterpretation.
30) Must Be A Good Swimmer
Well, if underwater baseball ever takes off, this coach has got an all-star team all ready to go.
31) Stop Thinking About Food
There’s never a bad time for lemonade, but a print shop probably isn’t the best place to find it.
32) Saucy
We get it. Marijuana is a long word. It has a lot of letters. But this is why dictionaries and Google exist, so you don’t embarrass yourself talking about smoking marinara sauce.
33) If Only Babies Were Delivered By Mail…
Many pregnant women would really prefer if babies just came in the mail instead. Sadly, that’s now how it works, Pablo.
34) Food On The Brain
Again, a malapropism related to food. And a hilarious reply too!
35) Pigs Or It Didn’t Happen
The best part about this one is how the girl kept on replying with more and more pigs and the guy just doesn’t seem to get it.
And there you have it. 35 of the most ludicrous malapropisms you ever did see! Got any favorites of your own to share?
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