We think of maps as a tool to show us how to get from point A to point B. But a map is really a symbolic way of seeing the world and its people.
Map-making goes all the way back to 2300 BC. But the following maps don’t seem to be built on over 4000 years of experience. In fact, they’re pretty ridiculous! And while they won’t necessarily help you learn geography, they will give you a good laugh.
11) In Antarctica, all ways are north
If you’re at the bottom of the planet, any horizontal movement will technically take you north. So leave the compass at home and stock up on extra layers instead.
The Roman military was seriously lacking in one area in the 2nd century: air bases. It’s probably because planes weren’t invented for another 1800 years, but is that really an excuse? Ok, maybe it is. This is a truly terrible map.
There are roughly 33 million Catholics in Poland and this map makes it look like they each have their own church. Don’t bother with Google Maps if you’re visiting and want to check out the religious architecture, just keep walking and you’ll find one.
14) Countries not using the metric system and losing a war to Vietnamese farmers
Historians have written hundreds of books on the Vietnam War. But how many have investigated the role of the metric system (or lack thereof) in its disastrous conclusion? Well, none.
You can’t even make icewine out of Antarctica’s grapes. Probably because there are none. But let’s be grateful: the planet is well-past doomed by the time the first Antarctic vintage is available.
This map helpfully circles the part of the planet with the most kangaroos. Granted, Austrailia is the only place they are an indigenous animal, but it’s good to know our zoo populations haven’t surpassed that of an entire continent. Yet.
8) America’s most popular misspelled words
According to Google, these are the most misspelled words in each state when people do Google searches. Some of them are understandable, but some are truly perplexing. Of particular note is Wisconsin, where the most misspelled word is…Wisconsin.
Even during the Great Schism when there were two, and briefly three, popes, they were still concentrated in the same area. But you can test your eyesight by finding the tiny dot on this map representing the world’s one and only current pope.
If you’re afraid of bears, your best bet is to move off-world. As you can see, all known bear attacks have happened in one location in the universe, planet Earth. To be fair, we have yet to collect data from the other planets.
1) Expansion of Switzerland over the last 200 years
Switzerland is known for its peaceful interactions with the rest of the world. In fact, it’s official policy not to get involved in the rest of the world’s conflicts. So it’s no surprise that, unlike so many other nations, they haven’t expanded their borders, an act generally requiring invasion and violence.
2) Countries within walking distance of Australia
Being an island nation means never being invaded by an army on foot. But it’s also really inconvenient for anyone wanting to traverse the world while pwning their friends on Fitbit. If you want to get your steps in while traveling to Australia, you’ll have to find a boat with enough room to jog the deck.
In case you haven’t noticed, a map isn’t an objective view of the world. Mapmakers have always visualized the world according to their own viewpoints.
5) Home of all Miss Universe winners
Just like the World Series, the Miss Universe competition seems weighted towards a specific place. While we have yet to receive an entry from any other planet, it seems misleading to hand out the title of Miss Universe to earthlings every year.
16) Map of the world if it were a bear
Did you ever wonder what a map of Earth would look like if someone turned it into a bear? Well, wonder no more! Test your geography by identifying all the countries and continents.
Forget bears, the world is actually a cat playing with a ball of yarn. That yarn being Australia, of course. Who knew?
18) Number of Switzerlands that fit inside Brazil
Finally, an answer to the question on everyone’s mind. At the very least, this map gives us some indication of just how big Brazil is, at least compared to Switzerland.
Admit it, you’ve often wondered which country is the roundest on Earth. Well, now we know it’s none other than Sierra Leone. No doubt you’ll sleep easier tonight with this important new knowledge.
20) Countries where Queen Elizabeth can be charged with a crime
Ever wonder why the British royal family doesn’t visit South Sudan? It’s the one place where they don’t have the privilege of immunity from prosecution. If the Queen ever does decide to visit, she’ll have to be on her very best behavior.
While we don’t have data from the 2018 election, this map shows us it’s hard to become governor if you have green eyes. Or else very few people with green eyes run for governor. Come to think of it, this map doesn’t really show us anything helpful at all.
We don’t typically think of kangaroos as pets, but if you decide you really want one, there are a few states where you don’t even need a permit. One wonders how the clerks at city hall would react if you went to sign up for your kangaroo permit in Idaho.
The Icelandic language looks intimidating to native English speakers. If you’re going to travel to Iceland, it’s best to take a good look where you’re going before you end up on the wrong side of the country for mixing up a few letters.
Everybody needs a giggle. It’s hard to imagine how the people of Wankers Corner or Dickshooter write out their address with a straight face. And how does a town come to be called Rough & Ready unless someone wanted to be hilarious?
The Fbomb map constantly updates based on how many people use the f-word in their Tweets. You can see it in real time on their website. Of course, it’s heavily weighted towards English-speaking nations, since other languages have their own special exclamations.
Google is constantly running analytics and this map gives us some interesting insight into just what was on people’s minds in 2015. It ranges from the wholesome (Michigan) to the deranged (c’mon Illinois) to the downright curious (Pennsylvania). And what on earth is going on in Texas?
There’s really no need to use Google Maps to get to Japan since you have to cross water. But perhaps it’s implying one can swim if they’re dedicated enough. We’d like to see the time of arrival on this one.
Breaking news: Ohio is the closest state to Ohio. But if you’ve ever wondered just how close you are to the state, here’s the map for you. Even if you’re in the “not too far” category, we don’t recommend trying to make the walk.
This map shows the population of European countries divided by the number of people living in them. If you’re confused, you should be, since the number will always be 1. What’s particularly hilarious about this map is the lack of information for Kosovo, which needs no data to tell us it should also be in the green.
We think of maps as a tool to show us how to get from point A to point B. But a map is really a symbolic way of seeing the world and its people.
Map-making goes all the way back to 2300 BC. But the following maps don’t seem to be built on over 4000 years of experience. In fact, they’re pretty ridiculous! And while they won’t necessarily help you learn geography, they will give you a good laugh.
