Life
30 disturbingly awful bathrooms you’ll dread stepping foot inside
It’s hard to say what these people were thinking when they designed these bathrooms.
Marilyn Caylor
09.19.19

Corner store gas stations often get a bad rap as the worst place to go to the bathroom, but it turns out that they’re not the worst that’s out there.

From toilet seats with pictures of water droplets, to bathrooms designed by prison guards, these 30 anxiety-inducing bathroom design fails will give you every reason to wait until you get home to take a leak.

1) “The paint in this public restroom.”

I wonder what the guy who painted this bathroom was thinking when he was tasked with smearing brown paint all over the wall. Did he start to question the life choices that led him to that very stinky moment?

Psst! Whatever you do, don’t touch the walls. There’s just no way to tell if clean.

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2) “This bathroom is making me want to try unrealistic challenges.”

Have you ever wanted let your inner Olympian come out to play, but you were too afraid that people would laugh at you for trying?

Well, now you can practice doing impossible Olympic feats all you want in this bathroom! Just make sure you clean up after yourself.

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3) “When you play the Sims but forget to rotate.”

The middle urinal is actually perfect for showoffs who don’t care if anyone sees their junk.

It’s also a plus if you’re a little bit tipsy. You can lean back against the wall and finish your business without falling over!

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4) What happens in Vegas bathrooms…

This kind of makes you wonder why more men’s restrooms don’t have long lines, especially when there’s a built-in entertainment center.

Let’s see how long it takes before someone tries to play “Stairway to Heaven.”

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5) “Sink attached to the toilet, forming a perfect slide.”

I hate to bring up the whole toilet seat argument, but this is exactly why toilet seats should always stay down. You just never know when your toothbrush is going to try to end its life by taking one final slide into a watery grave.

Please be kind and put the toilet seat down. It could save your toothbrush from being turned into a toilet brush.

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6) Toilet in the meeting room.

This meeting room/bathroom combo is the perfect setting for coworkers who are always judging each other’s performance.

The good new is, you can tell them exactly what you think of their TPS report by passive-aggressively using it as toilet paper.

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7) “‘We need to decorate the toilet for the disabled.’ ‘Say no more.'”

“Ha ha, look at what you can’t do, losers!” – said no decent human being ever.

If your aim is to piss disabled people off by reminding them that they can’t skateboard, surf, or cycle, then stick some colorful athletic decals up on the bathroom wall. Make sure it’s just out of reach so they can’t rip it off. Donkey-hole mission accomplished!

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8) “Taking “porcelain throne” to the extreme”

I’ll pass on this one – it doesn’t look like it’s finished. They ran out of bedazzle before they got to the lid!

Also, where’s the glittery toilet paper? No over-the-top porcelain throne room is complete without sparkles for your bum.

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9) “As if public toilets didn’t give me enough anxiety.”

Is this idea plumb’n crazy or what? Well, maybe not! Some might say that this is a piss-poor design, but I have a different theory.

I think this was designed by the same folks who manufacture toilet seat covers. People will be piling them on by the handfuls, just in case some of those droplets are real!

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10) “My friend sent me this picture. He called it the most judgmental bathroom.”

Hey now, judgement is such a harsh word. How about something more supportive, like, a team of toilet cheerleaders?

Team Brown Scout can look you right in the eye and give you helpful advice if they think you’re doing it all wrong.

11) “Our AirBnB had a translucent bathroom door.”

Well, this beats taking a laxative. You’ll be so scared out of your mind, you won’t have any problems firing off those stuck cannons!

“I’m used to my impatient toddler stalking me through the bathroom door, but this took it to a much creepier level.”

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12) “My arms are about 7 feet long, so this wasn’t an issue for me.”

Plastic Man is the oft forgotten superhero in the DC Comics multiverse. But, he would totally shine in a place like this!

However, since most of us don’t have stretchy limbs, it’s probably best to just carry a pitchfork for situations like this.

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13) “Not exactly the color pattern you like to see in a bathroom.”

At least the other bathroom that was smeared with brown paint looked “fresh.” This just looks like someone tossed a few toilet brownies onto the counter and forgot about it.

Note to self: don’t lick the counter.

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14) “The sink in my Hotel was a bit… complicated.”

If you love puzzles, then this complicated bathroom sink may be right up your alley. What do all the knobs do? Turn them and find out!

@Minky_Dave_the_Giant:

“I’m hoping: hot, cold, beer, mini shower for puppies.”

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15) This men’s bathroom…

I don’t see the problem with this. What dude doesn’t want Hawkeye staring intently at his fireman’s hose?

Hawkeye sees, he analyzes, and then he decides if you’re superhero material. You only have one shot, so aim like your life depends on it!

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16) “What is this?! A sink for ants?!”

Well no, it’s more like a pool for condemned goldfish. Before you flush them down the toilet, you give them one last swim. It’s sort of like getting a last meal before they go.

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17) “Super awkward semi-transparent bathroom stall doors.”

Too bad if you don’t want to look at what your neighbor is doing. This cozy bathroom doesn’t really give you much choice!

This proves why frosted glass has no place in this world. It also proves why curved, semi-circle stalls are also a bad idea!

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18) Attention: you can’t use this toilet unless…

So, what you’re saying is that this a private VIP bathroom for the only person in the world who is a disabled, elderly, pregnant child?

What about the rest of us who fit into a more general demographic?

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19) “Bathroom stall in a D.C. bathroom.”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel right about this group of strangers giving me high-fives before I’ve even finished the task. What if I miss, and something unfortunate drops right in their hands?

Or worse, what if one of them is actually real?!

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20) Rule #1 in designing a wheelchair-accessible bathroom…

…and they failed! Or did they? @MC-noob has a much darker theory:

“It’s like they dug through the thousands of pages of the Disabilities Act and found some obscure sub-passage in a section that nobody has ever read and found a loophole to save a few bucks. Maybe we should be admiring their attention to detail instead?”

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21) “Bathroom mirror at a bar in Italy.”

This bathroom would’ve been really fun back in the 80’s, when fluorescent neon lights and cocaine were still cool.

Now it’s just a hangout for people who want to feel like they’re on a bad psychedelic trip.

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22) “This waiting area for the toilet.”

So…is this how the other half live? I’m not sure what I’m more jealous of – the romantic setting for three, or the towering candle covered in potpourri.

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23) “This bathroom in my local cinema. Peek-a-poo.”

This is what you get for hiring designers who moonlight at prisons. They know nothing about the entertainment industry.

I give this movie a C-rating for the glorified constipation scene. Totally unnecessary!

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24) “My new apartment’s toilet is so narrow that even my skinny ass doesn’t fit in it.”

This must be one of those Japanese space-saving designs that only skinny people know how to use.

If you’re not a stick-figure, you’ll just have to sit sideways. And if you have daddy long-legs, then it sucks to be you in this bathroom.

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25) “Just what you want to see in the bathroom of an ice cream shop.”

This is what happens when ad execs get high on ice cream-induced brain freeze. They think posters like this will entice people into ordering more chocolate soft-serve.

@pet_dragon:

“The text makes it 10 times worse.”

@ChronoMonkeyX:

“I don’t know, I think it would be way worse without the text, just the girl staring at you and smiling while she makes the brown swirl.”

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26) “This bathroom window.”

Well, at least you know your cat can escape should a fire ever break out. Too bad for you, though. This ventilation hatch definitely won’t save you, unless you’re trying to clear the air from the stink you just made.

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27) Some kids have all the luck.

So which goofy school administrator decided it was a good idea to enact this new rule:

“All toilets must be centered in the middle of the classroom so kids eating their snacks three feet away can bare witness to their classmates defecating.”

At least the kids have been taught to put the toilet seat down. There’s that.

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28) “Hotel Henri IV. Mosaic art in the bathroom.”

If there’s a needle disposal box nearby, this might actually have a hidden meaning. I’m not sure what they’re trying to say, though. Maybe if they spelled it out, everyone could understand it loud and clear.

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29) “Thinking of becoming a mum?”

Do you ever feel like people are always trying to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do? You can’t get away from them, not even in the bathroom!

@Reilly_Beryll:

“We will help you to become a mum, so that you may forever sit when you pee,” said the voice from the ad. The man backed away. He did not want to become a mum. He did not want to sit when he peed.”

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30) “Another guy and I both walked in the bathroom at the same time. After seeing this, he said “This isn’t going to happen” and he walked out.”

It’s one thing to have urinals that don’t have any partitions for privacy. It’s quite another for the urinals to be rubbing up against each other like they know each other.

Note to self: don’t bring your drinking buddy here on your first bro-date!

@Grandpa_Shorts:

“I once was a little bit drunk at a taco bell and had to pee real bad. I burst through the bathroom door and startled a gentleman who was peeing in the urinal. I noticed that there was a toilet right next to him. So I went up and started peeing in it. It took about 3 seconds after the stream was released that I realized that we were standing way too close to each other. The sleeves of our shirts were touching. “This is just a bathroom for one person, huh?” I asked. He said “Yep.” I apologized but had to continue with my pee.”

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By Marilyn Caylor
hi@sbly.com
Marilyn Caylor is a contributor at SBLY Media.
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