Artists slowly moved from medieval style to a more Renaissance feel as time went by. Babies tended to look like old men but eventually gave way to softer features.

The aged look eventually gave way to some muscle definition, so we’ll start off on the bright side.

The Renaissance made way for more realism and naturalism. Artists soon began to paint children the way they saw them. As actual children.

We’re just slowly preparing you for the freaky ones.

Perhaps no other baby has been painted more than the baby Jesus. Even the church went with the times, having the Christ child painted more as an innocent baby than a baby with divine aspects.

He’s pretty cute here (even if blonde hair seems unlikely), but the proportions are a bit off.

Children were viewed and portrayed as innocent beings who knew nothing of sin.

This one looks a tad serious for his age, but we’re just giving you one last chance to view a relatively normal-looking baby.

There was a time when only the rich could commission artists for paintings. But the Renaissance saw a prosperous turn for the middle class, meaning they could now afford to have the same luxury.

And by this point children were often painted as sleeping bundles of joy, even if the lighting made them look a tad ghoulish from time to time.

Medieval and Renaissance artists painted royal children as mini-adults, focusing on their background and aristocratic lifestyle rather than that childlike innocence.

It also served as a glimpse for the public and other royal families as to the potential of the child portrayed.

The medieval thinking on the homunculus meant that some believed a woman already had a fully developed human inside of her, and that she only needed a man to activate the seed, or something to that effect.

This has been cited as one of the reasons children were painted to look like a smaller adult.

Perhaps Jesus is meant to evoke health and strength here. But we’re a little skeptical of the abs as well as the extremely long legs.

And don’t get us started on the facial expression.

Infant mortality rate was actually a problem in the medieval era. So babies being painted as strong, healthy beings could have served as hope for the parents who had them commissioned.

But that’s doesn’t entirely explain this weird expression (and head shape!). We blame the painter, not the baby.

The medieval way of raising children meant they used stern discipline. The church also saw the age of 7 as the “age of reason,” which seems mind-boggling if you’ve ever met a 7-year-old.

Children at that age were already held responsible for their sins. And this version looks like he’s planning to commit a few.

Medieval artists were more in tune with tradition, painting children to be more like the baby Jesus. It was more about expression than reality.

On the bright side, at least he has his mother’s eyes…?

The idea of the homunculus stemmed from the alchemist Paracelsus who used the term in his instructions for creating a baby without fertilization or gestation.

Artists began painting babies with adult-like features as that theory began to spread around.

This one looks like he’s about to punch mom, but they both look pretty awkward in general.

Privately commissioned portraits were rare in the medieval era. it was the church that often had portraits done, hence the abundance of the baby Jesus in paintings.

But did they have to give him male-pattern baldness at such a young age?

Since the church at the time viewed Jesus as a perfectly formed, sinless being, artists had to follow church instructions painting Jesus as a small man rather than a baby. Christ had to appear unchanging.

But now we’re extra confused by the red hair!

Maerten van Heemskerck‘s detail may have been meant to depict the Christ child as strong and commanding since he was a religious painter.

Can you think of a better reason to make him look like…that?!

The European Baroque influence in this painting uses contrasting shadows while faces have a longer, elongated effect. This carries on to the child Jesus who still looks like a miniature old man.

This painting was meant to be an intimate, devotional image.

But it kind of looks like he’s going to show his mom a magic trick by pulling a coin out of her ear.

Most paintings of a child were of the baby Jesus, often in different poses not commonly done by babies.

Your guess is as good at ours when it comes to what’s going on in this painting.

The eagle of Zeus clutches a terrified child whom Zeus wants to be his cupbearer in Olympus. Ganymede is said to be the most beautiful mortal born.

But apparently, it was impossible to convey that beauty in paint.

Look closely and you’ll see the child’s head turned at an awkward angle. One we know is not possible anatomically speaking. He’s got muscles too.

Maybe the artist was going for that strong God-like vibe with this one? But what’s with the belly?!