Whether you parted ways with your ex on a high note or a sour one, lingering emotions are pretty much a given.
Picture this: you’re going about your day, your phone buzzes, and—surprise!—it’s a text from your ex, trying to worm their way back into your life.
But let’s be real, entertaining that notion is a no-go.
So, what’s the best game plan?
Take a page out of the playbook of these absolute legends.
Their savage comebacks to their exes are nothing short of epic.
They get straight to the point, pack a punch, and deliver it all with a side of humor that’ll have you rolling on the floor laughing.
Trust us, we couldn’t stop chuckling either.
When it comes to dealing with an ex, there’s only one rule of thumb—serve it back, and serve it cold.
1. The Trap of Nostalgia
Sure, it’s tempting to stroll down memory lane, but let’s face it—that’s a slippery slope.
Some chapters are better left closed.
Instead of getting stuck in the past, cherish those golden moments for what they truly were: beautiful blips on the timeline of your life.
2. The False Alarm of the Typing Bubble
Picture this: a guy sees the “typing” bubble pop up from his ex-girlfriend and thinks, “Ah, she’s reaching out!”
But hold the phone—she shuts that chat down faster than you can say “awkward.”
The poor guy didn’t even see it coming; he was out of the game before he could even step up to the plate.
3. The “Playing Dead” Tactic: A Last Resort
Imagine this: a woman tries the ol’ “new phone, who dis?” trick to deter her persistent ex.
But alas, he’s not taking the hint. Time for Plan B.
She opts for the ultimate Hail Mary—playing dead, metaphorically speaking, of course.
It’s the relationship equivalent of a natural disaster, a last-ditch effort to shake him off for good.
4. The Day-Wrecker Strikes Again
Picture a woman having a perfectly good day—until her ex decides to chime in.
With brutal honesty, she lays it on him: the moment he texted, her day went from great to “ugh.”
It’s like he has a sixth sense for ruining good vibes.
Everything was smooth sailing, right up until his message hit her inbox.
5. Lost in Translation: A Comedy of Errors
Here’s a twist: a woman receives a string of insults from a guy, but get this—she doesn’t even grasp what he’s saying.
Instead of taking the bait, she pops those words into Google Translate.
The result?
A hilarious revelation about what he actually meant.
It’s like a comedy sketch, but in real life—proving that sometimes, ignorance truly is bliss.
6. The “Oops, It Just Happened” Excuse: A Relationship Deal-Breaker
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: cheating.
It’s a relationship sin that’s hard to absolve.
If you’re even thinking of winning your ex back, you better have a rock-solid excuse—and even then, the odds aren’t in your favor.
Most people see it as a deal-breaker, a line crossed that can’t be uncrossed.
So, if you find yourself in this sticky situation, be prepared for the likelihood that forgiveness might be off the table.
7. The “Travel Tips to Hell” Scenario
So, the no-contact rule is in full swing post-breakup.
But then, this audacious woman decides to reach out to her ex for some travel advice.
She thinks he’s the expert, after all.
His response? A curt “Go to hell.”
Ouch. It’s like asking for directions and being told to take a one-way trip to the underworld.
So much for breaking the ice for the sake of a dream vacation!
8. The “How’s It Going?” Text That Went South
Imagine this: a woman who cheated—not just once, but multiple times—decides to casually “check in” on her ex.
His response?
Let’s just say it’s far from warm and fuzzy.
And can you blame him?
Cheating is a betrayal, but serial cheating?
That’s next-level heartbreak.
So when she pops up in his messages, it’s like pouring salt on an already gaping wound.
No wonder he’s not rolling out the welcome mat.
9. When Fireworks Fizzle Out: A Snapshot Gone Wrong
Here’s couple whose relationship was always lit—literally, like fireworks on the Fourth of July.
But then comes the irony: they try to capture actual fireworks in a photo, and boom!
The spark dies out. It’s as if the universe said, “You want fireworks? Here’s a dud.”
Who knew that trying to snap the perfect firework pic could be the ultimate romance buzzkill?
10. The “Hey, I Miss You” Text That Missed the Mark
So, this brave soul musters up the courage to text their ex, breaking the no-contact rule.
The message? A simple “I miss you.”
But alas, it lands like a lead balloon.
The ex’s response is anything but warm, making it crystal clear that the no-contact rule is back in full force.
11. The Tattoo of Spite: A Permanent Diss
Talk about a plot twist!
This guy texts his ex, but it’s not to mend fences or seek closure.
Oh no, this is all about sweet, inked revenge.
He’s just gotten a new tattoo, specifically to cover up the old one that featured her face.
It’s his way of saying, “You’re officially erased, and I’ve got the body art to prove it.”
Forget turning the other cheek; this is about turning a new leaf—permanently etched onto his skin.
12. The “New Phone, Who Dis?” Reality Check
Imagine being so over your ex that when they text you, it’s like getting a message from a stranger.
That’s the story for this woman. She’s long since filed him under “time-wasters” and moved on.
So when he pops up in her messages, her reaction is basically, “Who’s this?”
Their past relationship?
A mere blip in her rearview mirror, so distant it’s practically in another time zone.
13. The “Help Me, But Don’t Expect a Reunion” Dilemma
Here’s a curveball: a woman reaches out to her ex, not for emotional support, but for some practical advice on a pressing issue.
Surprisingly, he complies and offers the needed information.
It’s a momentary truce, a ceasefire in the emotional battlefield, but make no mistake—this isn’t a sign of rekindling old flames.
It’s more like a temporary alliance for the sake of problem-solving, and then it’s back to their separate corners.
14. From Prince Charming to Just Plain Annoying: The Fall from Grace
Once upon a time, this guy was her knight in shining armor, sweeping her off her feet with romantic gestures galore.
Fast forward to now, and those same gestures have gone from swoon-worthy to just plain tiresome.
It’s like he’s become the human embodiment of “Trash Day”—once treasured, but now just something to be taken out.
Times change, and so do feelings; what was once charming is now just, well, clutter.
15. A Crushing Blow: The Spectacle of Broken Glasses
Talk about a metaphor come to life! Imagine asking your ex to return your glasses, only to see them get literally crushed under the wheels of a car.
It’s like the universe is saying, “You wanted to see clearly? How about this for clarity?”
It’s a heartbreaking moment, where the crunch of shattered lenses echoes the finality of a relationship gone awry.
If ever there was a sign to move on, this is it.
Please SHARE this with your friends and family.
