Getting dumped by a girlfriend or boyfriend is always a traumatic experience.
Often times, there are all sorts of leftover feelings afterward. While it’s okay to take a few lazy days off to regain composure, the important thing is that you eventually channel those negative emotions into something productive rather than sitting around, eating ice cream, and watching Netflix for weeks on end.
Be like 29-year-old Dean Smith from Michigan, a man who is a great example of what making healthy decisions after going through a separation looks like.
After Dean’s wife left him for another man named Steve, instead of sulking around, Dean immediately went to work and hit the gym.
Within a few short years, he made an incredible transformation dropping over 75lbs (34kg) from his original weight of 295. That brought him down to a respectable 220 lbs which was enough to make a huge difference in his appearance.
While Dean started his weight loss journey when he and his wife were still together, the divorce inspired him to take his workouts to the next level. It was the kick in the ass he needed, and for months afterward, he killed it in the gym.
Dean elaborated about his mission to shed the pounds in a conversation with UNILAD:
“I wanted her to point to me and tell others that she ‘getting’ with that. I truly wanted her to be proud to say she was my wife. That was my original motivation and that got me from 295lbs to 270 in the first six months of 2017.”
Originally, he just wanted to look better so that his wife could show him off in public.
That goal helped him to lose the first bit of weight.
“For most of my puberty years I felt like I was fat, awkward and unattractive. Which is why when I started dating the girl who would end up being my wife I felt amazing. I felt compelled to dedicate my life to her.”
“I had always truly believed that we were going to be together forever. I truly thought we were going to die together.”
For Dean, a lot of his mission was just about learning to be confident in his own skin.
Of course, he found that it’s a whole lot easier to be confident when you are not seriously overweight.
After the divorce, however, Dean’s motivation changed.
For many people, working out might become a way to make an ex jealous… an attempt to cause the ex to regret their decision of leaving. For Dean though, that wasn’t the case.
Working out became a way for him to distract himself from all the stress and negativity he was feeling.
He threw himself into exercise with extra intensity.
“This blindsided me (the divorce) and for those months I shut down. I was only eating maybe one or two days a week.”
“I spent my days with the kids and being hyper focused on them. My thought process was I was less likely to be sad about myself if I only thought of my two kids.”
“I fell into a deep depression that was intermittently interrupted when I had to fake being the happiest dad in the world.”
“During those last six months of 2017 I went from around 270lbs to 230lbs. And it was largely thanks to the fact that I was an emotional wreck. That may not be the inspirational story everyone wants to hear but it is how I lost most of my weight.”
Dean’s story is not the usual inspirational story, but it certainly is inspirational.
He proved that sometimes the best way to get through a tough time is to work even harder. Sitting around and sulking is not going to change anything, but taking action to better your life certainly will.
Dean ended his correspondence with UNILAD with this memorable motivational message:
“I don’t want my kids to have memories of me feeling sorry for myself over the loss of my wife/their mother but as someone who always pushes forward, especially when it comes to the benefit of our family.”
He is a very wise man.
To all those people out there obsessing about something that is done and over with and outside of your control, it’s time to take a page out of Dean’s book. Get your butt off the couch, get back out there, and get to work. It’s likely that you’ll feel better in no time.
Read the whole story about Dean’s transformation at the UNILAD link below.
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