You’re taking a shower, mindlessly soaping up your private bits, when you suddenly have an “aha” moment that makes your head spin.
Perhaps you finally discovered your purpose in life at that very moment. Or maybe you want to smack yourself for not realizing that Dr. Pepper actually has pepper in it, and that was his real name.
If you’ve ever heard that people get the best thoughts while they’re in the shower, it’s totally true. A morning shower has a way of inviting creative flashes of insight into your life.
In some cases though, those insights are hilariously stupid, like these 50 silly shower thoughts that Reddit users are sharing.
1) Pavlov pretty much Pavlov’d himself
2) Royal spider DNA goes way back
3) Control is an illusion
@RSwordsman:
“Which is probably for the best; I know I’d end up bricking myself in minutes.”
@Bleezair:
“No surprise we don’t have admin privilege, we’re constantly infecting ourselves with malware and viruses.”
4) Cool things movies taught us
@e-JackOlantern:
“My first time in an elevator shaft I was surprised by the lack of pristine lighting, lens flares and opportunities for heroism.”
5) Don’t like paying for Netflix?
@quatrevingtneuf:
“They could get the premium version of me if they’d just shell out a little more money…”
6) The truth about passport photos
7) All it takes is a single strand of hair to drive you mad
@Phroedrick:
“You have hair up your nose, but why does one more in there feel like something crazy. These hairs are fine but one random one and oh no here we go sneezing watery eyes, how do they know?”
8) Award for worst feeling in the world goes to…
@IntoTheBathysphere:
“That’s when you cling your arms to your body to prevent your sleeves from sliding down further. Also referred to as The Careful T-Rex.”
9) Why kids think teenagers are so scary
@Naked_Lunge:
“Beverly Hills 90210 was awful for this. I was 13 when it first aired and my parents were both 33. It was confusing as f*ck watching a show where the high schoolers, who were supposed to only be a couple years older than me looked like they were closer to my parents age, which a few of them were.”
10) Congrats, you’re the bad guy
@Dirty_Gurdy:
“This lady the other day had a full cart at the self checkout it was blocking 2 other self checkouts the only 2 that were available. I simply just moved her cart a little bit and she lost it and the fact that she felt entitled to taking up 3 machines def destroyed my nice person illusion.”
11) Neverending 10-second song
@TrashPandaPatronus:
“Sometimes I straight up make up the lyrics just to get through the song and get it out.”
12) Because I said so, that’s why!
13)Turns out it’s not the caffeine in coffee that wakes you up…
@sidewalkboy:
“Spilling hot coffee in your lap will wake you up at least twice as much as drinking it..tested and can confirm.”
14) Which car owner are you?
15) Priority de-boarding fee
@anonymous:
“First / business leave first. They block off the peasants with the curtains.”
16) Microwave cooking show
@sticky-lincoln:
“I wish “The joy of cooking with Bob Ross” was a thing.”
@Hmmm_yes:
“Your ingredients are: pizza rolls, ramen noodles, and microwave burritos, chefs you have 5 minutes, time starts now.”
@piniped1:
“The secret ingredient is Miller Lite. Go!!”
17) Graduation ceremonies are the worst if your last name starts with a ‘Z’
@Shanderson3:
“Just graduated from college last week. There were 1089 graduates in my ceremony alone, and 4400 total throughout the weekend. The last kid to have his name called got a standing ovation from everyone because we all knew it was finally over. The kid knew it too, as he was throwing his arms up and everything.”
18) The hero of men isn’t who you think it is
19) Why your pup goes crazy when they hear a dog barking on TV
@mattrydell:
“That’s why dogs go nuts when they see other dogs in passing too. They’re amongst humans all the time of course they’re gonna go batshit crazy when they see one of their own kind out in the wild. Like holy f*ck you’re a dog !?!?! I’M A DOG TOO !!!!”
20) Before elevators, the penthouse was at the bottom
@donutello2000:
“My parents lived in a co-op which was built without elevators. There was a lottery to decide the picking order, and as one of the last ones to pick, they had to pick a unit on the top (5th floor).”
@turpentinedreamer:
“Cincinnati has a lot of older tall buildings where the fancy floor is the fifth floor or below.”
21) Pizza sweet spot
@soldofpol13:
“For those rare individuals who lack access to a microwave but have access to a nuclear arsenal.”
@RufusDawes:
“Extra mushroom cloud please.”
22) Where would we be without Google maps?
@skip6235:
“Not quite as amazing, but my dad was able to show me the 300 year old stone house that his grandmother was born in in rural Ireland (Dingle, County Kerry). This is a place that didn’t get electricity until the late 1980’s, and yet from our living room in Michigan he could tour her farm for me. Amazing.”
@oldkingcole225:
“People can talk about dystopian futures all they want, but that is f**king beautiful. Hail internet.”
23) This will mess with your mind
@jscube:
“Mom’s hairdresser is a Chinese woman who grew up in India. She speaks English with an Indian accent. It must throw off a lot if people.”
@clevergirls_:
“I work in Japan and one of my clients is a half Japanese, half Swedish man who somehow got every single Swedish gene in the pool, looks hard white, and speaks English in a heavy Japanese accent. One of the biggest mindf*cks I’ve experienced in my life.”
24) Can’t make lemonade with that
@nbapat:
“So what you’re saying is that instead of life giving us lemons, we gave lemons life.”
25) Paul McCartney approves
@MydniteSon:
“One of my favorite stories I’ve heard about Weird Al was when the moment he realized he had finally ‘made it.’ This was in the early 80’s. He had been invited to a music industry party and wasn’t really sure if he would go or not. He didn’t think anyone knew about him or cared. When he got the party, he heard someone yell from across the room, “Holy shit! It’s Weird Al! Weird Al is here!” He looked over and saw it was actually Paul McCartney who yelled it.”
26) Context is everything
@darrylcarroll:
“They’ve really isolated themselves from the rest of the competition, Dave.”
@ascetic_lynx:
“Completely bombed that run.”
27) Penny for your thoughts?
@mypopsecrets:
“In Junior High there was a math teacher who swore by this to the point where kids would roll coins on the ground to watch him pick it up.”
@schaule:
“The same happend basically to me. Some kids saw me always pick up pennies. They would “bully” me in their mind I guess by throwing change to my feet. I always picked it up and they were laughing but tbh I didn’t give a shit. I would make up to 5 bucks a week. Sadly eventually they got tired of it.”
28) Airport security is pretty lax at the end of the line
@BobSacramento:
“I wonder how often “lost luggage” is simply stolen at the baggage claim?”
@PM_ME_YOUR_XBOX_KEYS:
“My wife’s luggage went missing once. We got it a couple days later and all her underwear was missing. iPod and everything else still there, underoos gone.”
29) We’re all just big babies
@pflame5000:
“Same with choking on water you’re drinking. Still do that after 29 years of drinking water.”
30) Just say no to dangerous school exams!
@monam78:
“Or the kids who are asking for more paper and you’ve only written 3 lines.”
@sp8erman:
“Everyone knows this leads to drugs and alcohol.”
31) Smoking could have been so good for us…
@Robot_Warrior:
“Worked with this one straight edge kid in Austin who would come out with us for a “pretend cigarette”. He’d just kick it with us, maybe play with a pretzel stick or pen and ash it. But he was ahead of his time. He wanted a smoke break, without the smoke, so he took em.”
@okbacktowork:
“He was just taking a second hand smoke break.”
32) Old age is no excuse for being rude
@energizer_buddy:
“This is absolutely true. The same goes for anyone who is an asshole. I work in psychiatry and the amount of times people who are jerks or an asshole is dismissed by “oh so and so had a hard life.” Bullshit. Dozens and dozens of my patients have had hard lives (physically and sexually abused, neglected, exposed to drugs/alcohol at a young age) and almost all of them dont act like assholes. Being an asshole/aggressive person is something else besides having a hard life.”
33) Being an A/C repairman sucks
@rewt127:
“As an A.C. repair/install guy this is probably the most frustrating thought. So we try not to think about it.”
@mikess314:
“Here in Phoenix Arizona these guys are getting paid like oil rig workers during these months.”
34) “When are you going to give us some grandbabies?”
@neohylanmay:
“And from ‘Don’t make me feel old’ to ‘Make me a grandparent.'”
@VerbableNouns:
“If you have sex and I have to deal with the result, it’s bad. If I can come over and deal with the cute parts, it’s good.”
35) Save the bread bones!
@standingintallgrass
“And then you slowly realize how much you like it because it tastes exactly like saving money.”
@Havingaverybadtime:
“My son likes the crust because he likes bread sticks and I told him every piece of pizza comes with a free breadstick.”
36) Monopoly in real life
@squirelfart:
“That is the way you play monopoly when you play monopoly with my wife.”
37) Mmm ‘kay…
The letter “k” in Morse code is a dash, dot, and dash that looks like this:
-.-
38) Skyscrapers are just big sandcastles
@TooShiftyForYou:
“The classic statement, “People who live in elaborate sand castles shouldn’t throw solid aggregated minerals.”
39) Don’t use your recreational forklift, please
@MissThystle:
“And while in my daily life I rarely operate any heavy machinery, reading the warning makes me want to.”
@BucketDweller:
“I know it’s wrong, but I still picture a washing machine.”
40) Orange is not the new orange juice
“Sunny D tastes more like the color orange than an orange itself.”
41) Shoveling snow in the middle of a snowstorm?
@jobowman12:
“Not to mention the longer it sits the quicker it all freezes together and then it’s really a PITA to remove it.”
@durandal71:
“My wife used to ask me this question until I started responding with, “I’d rather take on 4 inches three times than I would 12 inches once.” She doesn’t ask me anymore.”
42) That’s just nuts!
@backrubbing:
“Even when in company, I don’t usually show the peanut to the whole room.”
@anonymous:
“I eat them whole. That peanut is never seen. Poor guy.”
43) Sleep saves us from being slaves
44) Real-life heroes
@RunDMA:
“Dude I work with landscaping, about only 30% of the people that pass by me in the morning say “hello” or “good morning”, but 100% of the kids that I see are always amazed to see me with a leaf blower (or any power tool). Some of them call me “the Robot” and try to run/hide/play with me and sometimes this is the best part of my day.”
@mynock33:
“I thought garbage men worked just one day a week for much longer than I care to admit…”
45) The death of the ringtone
@SethQ:
“What about Ringback tones? For $1.99 I can force everyone who calls me to listen to the first thirty seconds of Mambo number five until I answer the phone. Those were the days.”
@lordhuggington:
“It still exists. I discovered that when calling a candidate for a position. Surreal trying to reach a middle-aged person and hearing Barbie Girl on the line.”
46) Who’s a good boi?
Or as @SocranX cleverly pointed out, Han is more like his pet cat.
“But Han is constantly giving Chewie orders. So Chewie’s really more of a cat person.”
@Syvril:
“Han would have lived longer if Chewie had gotten him neutered.”
47) Every potato is unique, too
@karry245:
“Mom says I’m a special potato.”
48) You know you’re an adult when…
@ScousePete:
“Airlines consider you an adult on your 2nd birthday.”
@junk2sa:
“I can’t wait until we go metric and the age is 10 for all those things.”
49) Worms in apples?
@Mad-Dog94:
“We had a peach tree and I still have trouble trying to eat peaches. Too many times have i bitten in and saw half a worm squirming at me.”
@lonelysock2:
“I did that. It was pitch black and I only noticed because of the taste. Shine my torch and lo and behold, half a worm. Don’t eat fruit in the dark.”
50) Lucky horses
@thanks_i-hate-it:
“You could start at r/furry”
@v-infernalis:
“Minor detail: The downside of not winning is being turned into glue and paintbrushes.”
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