When most people think of Ireland, they imagine a magical place filled with leprechauns, rainbows, and flocks of sheep. Pubs in Ireland are also legendary – there are approximately 7,000 of them. Scotland, on the other hand, is known for its wild hills, famous kilts, bagpipes, and whisky. And, of course, Scotland also has the Loch Ness Monster. But how much do we really know about the people of Ireland and Scotland?
We’ve compiled the funniest Tweets from Irish and Scottish citizens that showcase their particular brand of hilariously irreverent (and sometimes downright vulgar) sense of humor. Get ready for 50 nuggets of pure Irish and Scottish gold.
Wee Lightning McQueen
Picturing The Queen taking part in a marathon and winning is both enduring and hilarious. The fact that the joke is written phonetically in a Scottish accent makes the joke ten times funnier. Once you’ve deciphered it, that is.
Carefree Auld Wans
Topical as always, this meme from Ireland perfectly summarizes what it feels like to be unvaccinated and quarantined in your house while those lucky vaccinated folks are allowed outside once more. At least the Irish have a good sense of humor.
Scottish Macbeth
This hilarious summary of Shakespeare’s Macbeth by a 9-year-old Scot is as funny as homework assignments get. To be fair, it’s not a bad summary. This version is also about 10 times funnier than the original, so I call it a win.
Hoover Happiness
This whole scenario is just rather bizarre, but Irish people who have played ‘Bongos Bingo’ assured us that it’s the best ‘craic’ (‘Craic’ is Irish slang for fun, in case you didn’t know). The game is basically five games of Bingo that are separated by dance raves. Only in Ireland!
Unwavering Patriotism
Something to know about the Irish is that they are very patriotic. And they seemingly have an obsession with butter. And who can blame them? With 82% butterfat, Kerrygold Irish butter is much richer than plain ol’ American butter.
Time for Pizza
This picture proves that the Scots are always up for a laugh and some mischief. And the fact that the poster’s mom didn’t notice that the clock had been replaced with a frozen pizza makes the joke even funnier.
Dark Humor
This Tweet from an Irish woman remembering her grandma fondly is hilarious for its sardonic humor. Of course, it’s not true that the Irish have fair skin that burns easily as some sort of punishment, but the sass of this Irish grandma is pure gold.
Hard Truths
You can always trust the Scots to party a little too hard. But, you’ve got to give it to them, they can see the funny side of any situation… even during a global pandemic.
Pointing Out the Obvious
The Irish sarcasm runs deep in this Tweet. But pointing out something so obvious absolutely deserves it. Imagining the scenario and the delivery of the burn in an Irish accent just makes it even funnier.
Lol from r/irishpeopletwitter
Scotch Eggs
The Scots are responsible for some of the unhealthiest fried food on the planet, and scotch eggs definitely make the list. A scotch egg is a soft-boiled egg encased in sausage, breaded, and then deep-fried. We can see why Scots are obsessed with them though, they are delicious!
Blame the Brits
The Irish Potato Famine in the 19th century is still a contentious topic today. Without getting political, we’ll just say leave it to the Irish to leave a scathing but funny comment on a news post – least anyone forget who was really to blame.
Heatwave in Hotland
Everyone knows that Scotland is famous for its cold, rainy weather. As this Scotsman notes, everybody complains about it. But as soon as there’s a heatwave, everyone complains about that too. Be careful what you wish for!
Double Standards
This Tweet is hilariously self-deprecating and was confirmed by many Irish people. We’re guessing that George’s Street Arcade wasn’t the cleanest place to get a piercing. “Got my eyebrow pierced with the earring gun, go team filthy,” someone else commented.
Mannequins in Scotland
Have you ever wondered how good clothes will look on you while crawling home after a big night out? Scottish clothing stores have you covered. We wonder if this mannequin was set up like this as a joke or if this is actually a thing, but all we can say is you’d only ever see this in Scotland.
The Best Names
Apparently, the Irish word for giant squid, pronounced “MAW-her hoo-ig vor,” means “the big mother of suck.” We agree with the statement above that the Irish should be allowed to rename every species – it would be absolutely hilarious!
I’m Sorry… What?
This is a good example of just how expressive and crude the Scots can be, and it’s the only crude Tweet that was clean enough for this list. We’ll just leave the imagery to the imagination here and move on, shall we?
Irish Film Ratings
This Tweet supposedly decodes Irish film ratings. We’re pretty sure that’s not how it works, but a head’s up to anyone who can decipher this thickly-accented Tweet in under five minutes.
Up for Anything
This story is so bizarre it surely can’t be real? We have so many questions. But, instead of being grossed out by the article, trust a Scot to slip in a pun to make light of the whole situation.
Eat Your Meat
Another well-known fact about the Irish: they love to eat meat. This no-nonsense ‘aul’ woman lives up to the stereotype and has a scathing (and rather insensitive) comment about vegetarians, to boot.
Nobody is Safe
Scottish people don’t hold back when it comes to giving someone a good roast. In fact, nobody is safe from their observational comments. This comment about Melania Trump reading a ‘chippy’ menu is so funny and so true.
Height or Heighdth
This Tweet about the Irish’s pronunciation of the word ‘height’ had me in stitches. What’s even more hilarious is that the Irish also think it’s funny and promptly jumped onto the thread and began to make fun of themselves. The Irish have a great sense of humor!
Ask a Stupid Question…
Life’s little annoyances make for some of the funniest Tweets. The woman who was working at Tesco that day was either a little tired, or she was making a joke that went over the OP’s head. Still, his response is pure comedy gold.
Cup of Baked Beans
So apparently this is a thing in Ireland. There were some shocked responses, but the Irish people who saw the post confirmed that it is indeed something that they eat. “Have ya neva had a cuppa beans?!” one Irishman wrote, incredulous.
Scottish Pride
Trust the Scottish to bring up this infamous earworm that everyone’s been trying to forget for the last decade. Is the song stuck in your head yet? We have to admit though, the song does come around again.
Wise Cracks
This hilarious response to the fact that over 70% of Irish people cannot speak a foreign language is pure gold. Other Irish people were quick to comment, too: “This statistic also isn’t very accurate. I highly doubt 65% of British people can speak a foreign language.”
Revelation
Apparently, covering your school books with wallpaper was a thing in Scotland. And why waste expensive wrapping paper on covering school books anyway? But the OP’s revelation is absolutely hilarious.
Oops
In Kilkenny, there’s a pedestrian crossing that leads directly onto another road. Surely someone signed off on this? Or was the second road built after? In any case, Irish people know that construction fails like these are par for the course in Kilkenny.
Scottish Logic
The Scots have a certain way with words and a knack for pointing out the obvious in a way that would make the target of their disdain feel incredibly dumb. They are also always being hounded by TV Licence officials (apparently it’s an Irish thing).
The ‘Lads’
Being Irish means that everything is referred to as ‘the lads.’ As this Tweet points out, the use of the word ‘lad’ can be applied to literally anything in conversation – with hilarious results.
Construction Dog
In Scotland, dogs are a very common sight. People tend to take their dogs everywhere with them. This guy takes his dog to work with him every day and even dressed him in a high-visibility vest. How sweet!
Keep the Change
I’m sure this happens to everyone to a certain degree when they travel to a foreign country, but this guy was seriously ripped off. Imagine paying 20 euros for an ice cream!
No Tories Allowed
Another thing when it comes to the Scots is that they are fiercely loyal to the political party they support. Add a sprinkle of typical Scottish mischief, and we have people hiding other people’s prosthetic legs.
Check Yourself
The Irish have some amazingly expressive sayings, and this is certainly one of them. It’s the Irish equivalent of “watch your mouth.” Unfortunately, we all know someone that we should share this with.
Playing to Stereotypes
Brought to you by murder mystery TV shows with thick Scottish accents, this Tweet gets funnier the more you say it out loud… “thurs been uh muhrdur.”
Irish Humor
This Tweet, in true Irish fashion, almost had me falling out of my chair. The Irish really have a way of laughing at themselves that we could all learn from.
Double-Take
This is actually a very disturbing image, but when it’s coupled with an explanation in a Scottish accent it is the ultimate in dark humor. The Scottish do like a bit of black comedy.
Irish Siri
Could you imagine Siri’s voice with an Irish accent? We couldn’t either, but the Tweet explains just how it would sound syllable by syllable. There could actually be a market for something like this. I’m in!
Like a Fine Wine
These costumes, worn by a pair of Scottish women, are absolutely brilliant. The wordplay is masterful and ironic – only a Scot could pull off something like this. Glad to see that they have, erm, matured.
Mad Sesh
The Irish are always up for a good party, or in this case, what is euphemistically called a ‘sesh.’ But what a bummer when you realize that you’re actually looking at a photo of a combine harvester in a cottonfield. That’s disappointment right there.
It’s Self-Explainatory
In this Tweet, this Scot is complaining about all Scottish people writing exactly as they speak, a la the movie Trainspotting. But when another Scot hops on the thread and calls him a ‘tube,’ he probably saw the funny side to it.
Everyone Knows Everyone
Apparently, knowing all your neighbors is a common occurrence in Ireland. It’s a place where everyone knows everyone. And, according to this guy, all the ‘bad guys’ in Ireland have English accents.
That’s Not How It Works
Running into people who have had a heavy night out while you’re on your way to work is a common occurrence in Scotland. But, no matter how many brain cells were killed the night before, this guy thinking that the train somehow operates on wifi is inexcusable. But it’s very funny.
Sorry About Your Battery
This hilarious Tweet tells the story of a ‘wee’ emo girl and the boy she was seeing. What’s funny is that she didn’t think twice when she thought that he had a pet bat!
Dad Jokes
We’re sure this is one way to scar a child for life but to a Scot, it’s a brilliant way to manipulate your child into behaving. It’s probably an example of very bad parenting, but it’s still hilarious.
Burn
This Tweet perfectly depicts the wry humor of the Irish. He’s saying that the HBO show Game of Thrones was a disaster worse than the Titanic sinking. I tend to agree, going on the absolutely disappointing trainwreck that was the last season of GOT.
Expectation vs. Reality
This Tweet about Scotland is both hilarious and somewhat disturbing – par for the course in Scottish humor. So the rolling hills and bagpipe-playing scots are nothing but junkies hanging off lampposts? How disappointing.
The Accidental Scone
This dad was attempting to live up to the expectation of ‘Irish Gael Father’ by teaching his kids how to make Irish soda bread from a traditional Irish recipe. But, his attempt only yielded this monstrosity that resembles a giant scone. What a fail!
Fair Enough
There’s nothing like the satisfaction of complaining to the manager – especially when one of their employees was being reckless on the road. However, this Tweet took a strange turn when the Scot who was complaining admitted that he was being a ‘fanny.’ You gotta love the blunt honesty there.
Murdered with his Bare Feet
This has got to be one of the strangest and most random questions ever asked on Twitter. And, of course, it was asked by an Irishman. What even led him to this idea in the first place? we have so many questions.
Hilarious Retort
Once again, in true Scottish fashion, this man floored someone with his wit and impeccable sense of logic. It’s funny, and he actually does have a good point.
We hope you found these enlightening Tweets from Scottish and Irish people just as hilarious as we did. It turns out that the Scottish and Irish have an unbeatable sense of humor and see opportunities for comedy in many everyday things – be it observations about politics, the people around them, themselves, or just for the ‘craic’!
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