Everyone has been there; you have to fart, but your partner is beside you. Do you go for it or hold it in? Everyone is different, and your answer might depend on the kind of relationship you have or your opinion on gas in general. Weng Chen, the artist behind “The Adventures of Messy Cow,” decided to use her artistic abilities to help people with their fart dilemmas. She said:
“I ate all kinds of food and often ran into this problem. I was curious how other people handled the situation but it’s a hard topic to bring up in casual conversations. So I decided to make a comic about it and was happily surprised by how many people were open to this discussion. Some couples can fart comfortably in front of each other after a week, some won’t do that after 50 years.”
“I think you should care about how it affects your relationship because you don’t want to make your partner dislike you, and it’s important you keep liking each other in a long-term relationship. I recommend using my comics as a guide and test it step by step. If your partner showed disgust at some point, don’t proceed further down the list.”
She broke it down so anyone who has ever had to fart in bed can do it the right way.
This might make things a little less uncomfortable when you have to face your partner in the morning. Not everyone can handle someone farting next to them, so use these suggestions at your own risk.
The Right Way
If you want to be respectful to your partner, the best way to fart is to get out of bed, go into another room or the bathroom, and let it rip. Then, simply climb back into bed like nothing happened. No sound, no smell, no problem. Your partner won’t even know it happened. Sure, it’s a lot of work, but if you are in a new relationship or farts are something you don’t want to share, this is the best way to go about it.
The Easy Way
Sometimes, you don’t want to get out of bed when it’s cold. You may not want to fart with your butt facing your partner, either. The easiest way to fart while in bed is to simply stick your butt out the covers and let it go. The hot air and the smell are sent into the room and not directly at your partner. Of course, this doesn’t mean the fart will go unnoticed, but your partner will appreciate that you didn’t fart on his or her leg.
The Friendly Way
If you are going to fart and there is no way to keep your partner from knowing it, at least be nice enough to let the far out of the covers. Don’t wait for it to sneak up his or her nose. Fart, open the sheet, and just move on with your life.
The Sneaky Way
If you want your partner to suffer and also want to play innocent, just fart and pretend to still be asleep. Don’t move at all and wait for the smell to hit your partner’s nose. They can’t be mad at you if you are asleep, right?
The Worst Way
If you are ready to end the relationship or if you have a mutual love for all things farts, then go for this method. Wait until your partner is snuggled up behind you, in the spoon position. Then work up a good one and let it rip when they are right up against you. They will be totally disgusted, and it will either be the end of the relationship or the beginning of a fart war. The problem is, you never know which way things could go with this one, so you have to have a lot of faith in your relationship if you don’t want to lose your partner.
Now that you know all the ways to fart, go ahead and cut that cheese.
Just make sure you are both on the same page when it comes to flatulence. Some people find farts funny, and others don’t know where your partner stands on the issue and fart accordingly.
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